More awards...

Yes, it seems to be the season for these. Thanks to Blonde Blogshell for mine (you legend, Blondie).

Now, of course, I need to pass this along to those blogs I rate E for Excellence. Now Blogshell has already nominated many of the blogs I love, and I read about 35 blogs regularly, so I am going to randomly select five of the blogs that I adore from those and nominate them. in other words, if you're not on this list, don't bite my head off. It doesn't mean that I don't love your blog, k?

But here are five blogs I think are uber-excellent:

Mother Jungle: Susan writes beautifully from Costa Rica. I have recently started reading her and really can't stop!

Shared Insight: MsBehavin can be naughty or nice, but is always a good read.

Chester Pillow: Ches is a blogger who keeps me in stitches with his random observations and 70s disco dancing ;-)

The Life of Sass: Also one of my new reads, Sass has a whole heap of alter egos. Each one is entertaining.

The Kattbox: The thoughts of a woman slowly going insane on a farm in the middle of nowhere. Or so she says. Good reading.

Edited in later: And because somebody did not listen to me and decided to take offence.... I hereby also award:

Spacebook: Caz in the fair Cape can even write in Latin!

My (own) Ella, Ella, Ella...

Ella, my car, my baby, my darling, is in for her first service today, poor thing. She is named Ella after jazz legend Ella Fitzgerald because she is a Honda Jazz (only I would come up with that, right?). She's the first female car I've had, preceded by Ziggy, my fiesty Ford Fiesta, and George, my grumpy 1960-something Alpha Romeo Giulia that I got to drive a grand total of twice (my father bought him "for me" and worked on him solidly before selling him off to a collector).

Anyhoo... Ella is in for a service today, as I mentioned, and I am thus far extremely impressed with the local Honda branch! When I had to take Ziggy in for his services in Cape Town, it meant visiting the hideous Rondebosch dealership, which, aside from being filthy, was inefficient and bloody expensive. Luckily it was down the road from the local library, so I could retreat there afterwards and breathe in the smell of old books to calm my nerves. Yes, I'm odd. Had you not noticed? Pfffft...

At the Ford dealership I would wait ages while the surly staff studiously ignored me and continued with their phone conversations. Once I'd finally been served, I could not convince them to drop me off at varsity after I'd handed my Zigster in to have his insides checked out by the monkeys that worked there. It was like dropping your toddler at daycare, only to discover that the childminder was a depressed has-been soap star with a penchant for early morning vodka shots and cherry cigars (where do i get this stuff?!).

Today's car doctor visit was a world apart. I forged my way through the miserable traffic on William Nicol (the worst road in the world, in my opinion) and arrived at the clean and friendly Honda haven, where I was greeted personally and shown to a parking bay. Within 10 minutes the paperwork was done and I was allocated a friendly driver who dropped me off at the office, after politely laughing at my lame jokes and proficiently making small talk with me.

Half an hour later, I received a phone call from the man working on my car to inform me that he would need to align my wheels. He just wanted to make sure I was ok with that and let me know what the cost would be before they went ahead. How different from my Ford experience, where they would do as much extra work as they could before I arrived to pick up my car and faint at the price and the pile of car component boxes on my passenger seat.

I'll see how Ella's doing when I get her back, but so far, thumbs up to Honda for not pissing me off today. For a car dealership, that is truly impressive. I'll take them one of the beeeeeg smiley face stickers I'm currently obsessed with. I'm sure they'll be impressed.

One of my best friends is pregnant

So weird. She's a year younger than me (she's 23). This terrifies me. I have no maternal instinct as yet. Which is another thing that worries me.

"Why is it that weekends go by so fast?"

I find myself asking this question every Monday morning as I stumble out of bed and trip over one of my cats (they lie there on purpose, I tell you).

This weekend was good. My folks are back from their holiday and it sounds like they had a great time. We had dinner with them on Friday evening and they showed us all their photos. Jealousy! They brought us a beautiful hand-crafted blue glass bowl that I can't wait to display in the new house, and TSC got a gorgeous belt, some chocolate and a "funny" T-shirt very similar to this:

Unfortunately, none of the shirts they bought me really fit, but my mom found the cutest little brooch. Will have to take a pic and post it.

And my dad, who is the world's greatest car fanatic, gave the thumbs up on the repairs to my Ella*. Which is great, because he didn't actually know that aside from the bumper that got scraped in the pothole, I also had the left side of the car fixed where I scraped it on a pillar in the parkade. I figured that if he didn't notice, I was safe.

Little did I know that my mother had told him about the second incident! All that skulking around for nothing! What a waste of my talents in the sneakiness department.

Truth be told, I'm actually glad he knows. But he doesn't know that I know that he knows. Did you follow that?

Well, I just saw that I have an award from Kitty Cat (yay! Two awards in two weeks), so my Monday is ok thus far. Hope you all have a fabulous week!

Friday funny and a quick update

We've finally found a social worker who will come and see our neighbours' kid, so that's good news. I've tracked down the phone numbers for the parents (like drawing blood from a stone with our helpful trustees) and she's trying to set up an appointment today. Will keep you posted.

Here is the picture of the house that is soon to be ours. I cannot wait!And here, are your Friday funnies:

Finally... a post about my first award (and other stuff)

Thanks to Elizabeth and Being Brazen who both awarded me on the same day (for a first-time awardee, this is particularly cool).

I'd like to pass this award on to a few bloggers, but everyone seems to have it already (wow - I truly am a loser. The last one to get this award. Sheesh). But, if I read you regularly and you don't have it, be sure that I would like to give it to you. Email me or leave a comment and I will gladly bestow it upon you with great pomp and ceremony.

I have also been trying to update my links list / blogroll thing. So if you're not on there and you think you should be, please let me know.

And here's a picture for you for today:

If you don't know Edward Monkton's work, go to this site immediately: http://www.edwardmonkton.com/

Randomness

I have no sensical (yes, that be a word in the Doodles dictionary) train of thought today. My train has derailed and is making its way through the African bundu even as we speak (write. Whatever. Philistines)...


So I'm just going to post the random bits and pieces that are floating (and sinking) around in my skull. Sorrreeeee for yoooou! Suckers... MwahahaHAHA! Enjoy my ellipsis abuse while it lasts, for it is rare indeedy. Or not.


Uhhhhhh.... I feel like I'm in a dead space at the moment. Nothing exciting is going on, and for once, I'm not under too much pressure. I work well under pressure, so I'm not working well at the moment. Like a little faulty pressure cooker - everything is half-cooked, including my brain...


Moving on... We visited our new house on Monday evening to discuss taking over some of the garden equipment and tools. TSC loves tools like most women love chocolate, only more... In fact, he loves tools like men love boobs. Yes, that much. Tis true. Thus Monday evening's outing made for a long discussion with the people we're buying from and resulted in much boredom on my part. I mean, how excited does he want me to get over a work bench. If it were a chocolate work bench it would be a different story...


I came away more sad than happy... Not about the house... LOVE the house. But the owners will put their gorgeous cat George down when they leave (going to Australia). He is a beautiful, friendly cat who looks exactly like my kitty Marble at an older age, and I would desperately like to keep him, but I can't see a way to do that...

Ok, crying now. Seriously. I am as soft as double-ply loo paper. So much for dead space... Rargh...


In other news, I seem to have Neil Diamon's Sweet Caroline in my head for some obscure reason. I'm mentioning it to ensure that I pass on the misery.... Come on! Altogether now: Sweeeeeeeet Caroline... ba-da-ba... Good times never seemed so good... I know you're singing with me! Sweet Caroline...


Ahem... fisnihed now, I promise...

Yesterday was payday. Now there's a good reason to be singing, bar the bunch of debit orders that eat away my pay within minutes of it arriving in my account, that is...


But, the other good news is that some of my freelance clients have paid, so there is moolah in our work account. Yeeeeha! Still scared to touch it though. Need some tax education ASAP. Ruby? Oooohhh... new song, new song: Ruby, Ruby, Ruby... ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! 'Scuse the howling...


Last night there was a cat sitting on our neighbours roof, howling (yes, cats can howl apparently). Eventually the owners came home and managed to get it back inside. I feel like sitting on a roof and howling... Why? I dunno. Would just be cool to see everyone's faces, I guess. Not so cool to be in a straight jacket afterwards though...


I warned you that the randomness is strong today. And it's contagious... See:





Ok, done for real now. Till tomorrow, when sanity may or may not be restored.

Cat post

No, I am not going to start posting about my two lovely felines every day of the week and updating you on their diet, antics and incredible shedding rate, but I am going to write a post about cats today, and probably tomorrow too ;-)

See, on Saturday, TSC and I were both feeling bleak. This was largely because of the abusive neighbours and the inept police. We decided that we should cheer ourselves up by driving a little way up the road (we live on the edge of town near where the small farms start) to find a place to take a long walk in the spring sunshine.

We were driving really slowly with the window down when we heard this desperate meowing. We thought perhaps a cat had got caught in the barbed wire fence, so we pulled over, crossed the road and starting calling. And this tiny ginger kitten came bounding out of a gutter and launched itself into my arms like a small orange (affectionate) missile.

It was so cute, purring away like a little generator. We looked around for more kittens or a mother, but couldn't find any. The little thing was skin and bones and was desperately trying to crawl into the nape of my neck to get closer (it didn't have much luck though, with my phobia of having anything near my neck. I kept trying to get it to just stay on my shoulder). We couldn't just leave it there, so we took it home.

It was dusty and had a scrape on its teensy nose, but it was so excited to be with us. We kept saying how it was full of beans. This expression prompted the name 'Bean'. Now ginger cats are almost always male (not sure why, but it's true), but Bean happened to be a little girl.

We debated keeping her and decided that we'd see how our cats reacted first. After stopping to buy her some kitten food and a bowl, we took her home. She wolfed that food down in about two seconds flat. She must have been starving. Our cats (the big pansies) were terrified of this little scrap of fur and headed as far away as possible. Not good.

We took our little beansprout to the vet, who confirmed her sex, provided some tick and flea ointment and dewormed her, and said she must be about eight weeks old. I asked the vet if our cats would adjust and she said maybe, but it would take a few months. Seeing we're moving in a few months, we didn't think ti would be fair on our cats to take on two huge new adjustments.

Fortunately, our (only) nice neighbour LOVES cats. She's been trying to convince her husband to let her get one, but he wasn't keen. Until he met little Bean, that is, so just won his heart with her affection and red-headed wiles (yes, as a ginger, I use those too. Not).

We handed her over with peaceful hearts, watching as Sandra cuddled the little bundle of fur to sleep in her arms. I'm very happy that she's found a good home, even if they did insist on renaming her Tinkerbell (?!?!?).

"It's Bean a good day," I said to TSC as we headed back to our unit. I just couldn't resist!

___________________________________________________________________

About the nasty neighbours: We have given them the details for the sister at the Teddybear Clinic, and they have promised to schedule an appointment today for later this week. I'll give the clinic a ring tomorrow and check whether or not that's been done, and we'll take it from there.

Monday update

After work on Friday, I called Childline to report my neighbours' abuse of their child. I was told there's nothing they could do, and given the number for Child Welfare. I called Child Welfare and asked to speak to a social worker, who told me off for calling on a Friday afternoon, saying there was nothing they could do. She advised me to call back this week.

I headed over to the local police station to open a case against my neighbours. I spoke to two officers who didn't have any idea what I should do, before being directed to a lady named Beauty who was very helpful.

She explained to me that the Child Protection Services unit has been closed down and that child abuse now falls under the auspices of the general police. I think this is ridiculous, as you surely need special training to deal with the situations that come up. Beauty told me that there's no record of my three calls or of a case being opened, and that they haven't logged a visit to my complex on that evening. She advised me to call emergency services back and get their feedback on my reference number from Friday, to put it all in an email and send it to Crimeline, who will then brief the police to open a case.

I called emergency services and quoted my reference number, asking them which police vehicle had made the call and what had happened. I asked the woman to read me her report. It said they had stopped by at 21.20, spoken tot the mother and sorted it out. That was it. As I was the complainant, they should have taken a statement from me, not just the lying, child-beating mother!

Yesterday, at church, I spoke to a friend who is a social worker. She called me this morning with the name and number of a state social worker who will be able to come out to the complex. She also have me the name and number of a sister at the local Teddybear Clinic who can do an assessment on the child. She advised that becuase the parents kept saying how worried they are about him, that he's a psychopath and a thief and that he needs help, I should ask them to take him to the clinic. If they resist, I can bring in the police or the state social worker. I will keep you posted on what happens next.

Too far this time

Two of my favourite bloggers, Being Brazen and Elizabeth, have both given me a nice award, which makes me very chuffed and I will certainly post about it next week. Elizabeth says I make her giggle, which I'm glad of, but today I'm going to write a very serious post.

My neighbours have taken it one step too far this time. We have put up with their screaming matches, wondering the whole time whether he was beating her or the kids. We have also put up with feeding and loving their cat, which they have completely abandoned. But last night, for the first time, they gave us proof that they are more than just nasty neighbours - they are criminals.

As I was dishing up supper at about 19.15, we heard a child screaming its lungs out, so we went outside to investigate. There was blood all over the corridor, and the screaming was coming from inside their flat. I wanted to call the police, but TSC went straight to their door and starting bashing on it. Eventually, after much shouting, the father came to the door and TSC demanded to know what was going on. The guy wouldn't let him see past him into the house and started making all the usual excuses - the kid slipped and knocked his head etc.

TSC kept pushing and telling him to bring the kid out so he could see if he was ok, and the guy stalled until his wife (who is the one who hit the kid) had washed the blood off the kid's face, telling TSC that the child (who is eight years old) is a psychopath, that he shoplifts and tried to poison them and that they're trying to get social services involved to help them with this "problem". He also said that the kid says his grandmother "touches" him, but they don't believe him. Five minutes later, he says that the kid is mentally unstable because he was molested for five years.

Eventually, the wife drags the kid out. His face is blue on one side and there are fingermark bruises all down one arm. TSC asks the kid if his mother hit him. The kid won't look at him, but shakes his head - no. TSC gets down on his haunches, looks the kid in the eyes, and says, "Please tell me the truth." The kid nods his head - yes. The mother then begins yelling at TSC saying that they don't want their kid, he's a piece of rubbish, they want to get rid of him and they'll pay us to take him away, he's just costing them money. All of this in front of her child.

While this was all happening, I had called emergency services and asked them to send the police. They took down my details and promised that a car would be around. This was at 19.30. For the next hour, we forgot about dinner while this man tried to talk his way out of the situation, saying that he realises things get out of hand sometimes (his wife packs her stuff and threatens to leave him on a regular basis after his verbal (and probably physical) abuse), but that they are trying, and with all due respect, we're not parents so we can't understand etc, etc.

I called for the police again at 20.15. Then again at 21.10. When we eventually went to bed at 11.30 after waiting for four hours, they had still not arrived. Apparently they came after midnight, when the child was in bed, and just took a statement from the parents. What help is that? Like they told the truth! Fortunately, our other neighbours (the nice ones) and TSC had ensured that the kid was safe. Had none of us intervened, who knows how far it would have gone.

I finish work early today and will be going straight to the police station to file a report. I will also be writing to the newspapers. It is simply unacceptable that in a situation where a child is at risk, so little is done. I cannot handle abuse of children and animals. It makes me shake with rage because they have no choice, no power to fight back.

Two Mondays

Thanks to yesterday's public holiday, today feels like a Monday. So two Mondays in one week! Eep. But tomorrow's Friday, so it's all good.

And I just realised that we're nearly into October, which means I need to start on Christmas presents now in order not to be broke in December. I tell myself that I'm going to do this every year, and I don't. But this year will be different.

Hmmm... de ja vu.

But seriously... I want to go on a kick-ass holiday at the end of the year, so I will need to have some cash then. Which means I will need to either:

a) Win the lotto (unlikely, seeing I don't play)
b) Get in some more freelance jobs ASAP
c) Convince people to order their corporate gifts through me or let my company do their PR (coz I'd get commission)
d) Cut down on my spending (also unlikely given the current inflation rate. Ok, and my tendancy to buy random gifts for those I love)
e) Open a shebeen on my veranda (anything's possible in uor dodgey complex)
f) Take up a new line of work that pays better (politics, maybe? Or law. I'm argumentative enough to be a lawyer.)

This cash injection is absolutely necessary to my well-being. See, I need to unwind as fully as possible during the first week of holiday because my in-laws are taking TSC and I to a lovely resort just after Christmas for a week, which will be... stressful to put it politely.

There are not many people I would choose to go on holiday with, I prefer to just get away from everything and everyone. And my in-laws, although they are very kind-hearted people who don't mean to make things difficult, are experts at stressing me out. Firstly, we don't speak the same language. Secondly, they live in a different world to me. Theirs is populated with their family, their sheep, farm life and red wine that's been stored overnight in the fridge. Mine is inhabited by lunatics, irrational clients, my mental cats and "room-temperature" red wine. So we battle to relate to each other.

Thirdly, their idea of a holiday is to go shopping. This makes sense, if you think that they live in a small town where there aren't many stores. But my idea of a holiday is to escape to a quiet cabin in the mountains or on a beach and retreat from the madding crowds. They like to spend every single minute surrounded by people. I like to hide from the world with just TSC by my side.

So I worry that the week will be claustrophobic for me. I can handle that for a few days, and I just want TSC to enjoy his time with his folks as much as possible seeing he doesn't see them often. But I do plan on relaxing as much as is humanly possible before then. And seeing it's TSC and my second wedding anniversary on 16 Dec, I'm thinking spa treatments, romantic dinners and adventures together are in order.

So... any advice on making money in a hurry (legally, please)?

The pigs

Argh! I don't know about you, but I find sitting in traffic super-stressful. My blood pressure rises as I compulsively watch the clock ticking and shake my head at the nutter in the stationary car next to me picking his nose. In Johannesburg, however, unless you work from home, there's no real way to avoid the traffic. I'm more fortunate than some in that I only live 8km (just under 5 miles) from the office. BUT it takes me on average 25 minutes to get there!

Why? Well, aside from the bumper-to-bumper traffic, there are numerous other obstacles to overcome. My route to work is fairly simple. I drive out from my complex, onto a main road. I keep straight until I hit a T-junction and then I turn left. I stay straight again through a couple of robots (yes, that's what we call traffic lights in South Africa), turn right and go through two more robots and arrive at work. On a weekend it takes me 10 minutes. Well it would if I ever worked on weekends, that is ;-)

BUT, on the road just after the T-junction, there are currently massive roadworks going on. There are men working, large construction vehicles and loads of those little orange cones that seem to scream "hit me!" (or is that just me?) stretching for about 1km. Why? Understanding that the traffic on this road is completely insane, the city council has decided to widen the road. Fair enough. I can deal with that if it means the traffic will let up some time in the future. What I can't get over, however, is that every morning, on the same road, the cops set up a roadblock during the peak traffic, which makes it a million times worse. Yes! there they sit in their cars, all 20 or so of them, pulling off our mini-bus taxis and anyone else they don't like the look of, which causes havoc.

Once I'm past that road, it's usually a lot better. Today, however, the idiots had set up ANOTHER roadblock in the last road I take. Grrr! Are they thick? Have they not SEEN the traffic? But no, the clever clogs must put two blocks on two already busy roads during peak hours next to the roadworks?!?!?!

I will not let this colour my day. I will not. I will console myself with the fact that my new house is much closer to work (about 4km away) and cuts out the roadworks, if not the roadblocks.

Our house, in the middle of our street...

SA post

Caz tagged me to do this meme she created, so here it is:

Link back to the original meme (that would be this post) and the meme inspirer (that would be EXMI)
Link to the person who tagged you (Caz)
Give (at least) 5 reasons why you love SA
Tag at least 5 peeps
Let me know when you've done it!

Now please note that there are gazillions of things I love about SA, and most of them have been written about by other peeps who've been tagged in this meme. It's Monday morning, so I'm not even going to try to be original, sorry for you. If you're bored by this, come back tomorrow. I'll try for something scintillating then (but no promises, k). So, off the top of my head, here are some of the things I love about my country:

1. I love South Africa because it's never dull. Whether the President has been recalled by the ruling party or some foreign tourist has tried to pet a lion and been munched, there's akways something going on.

2. I love South Africa because most of its people (there are exceptions, of course) are friendly and fairly well-mannered. If you sit next to someone on a bus or a plane, more likely than not, you'll enjoy a good conversation, unlike on public transport in most European countries, where everyone avoids each other's gaze as much as possible.

3. I love South Africa because its people are ambitious. Not content to be seen as just another poor African country, South Africa is hosting the 2010 FIFA World Cup, establishing trade relations and (finally) getting a bit more up to speed on technology. We have one of the best banking systems in the world, our Para-Olympic team recently used their competitive spirit to score a whole whack of medals, our Constitution is the most progressive globally, and you can drink water straight from the tap (faucet) without filtering it (which Rand Water tells us is a big deal).

4. On a less serious note, I love South Africa because we're half a season behind in terms of fashion, so you can get away with last year's look for longer ;-)

5. I love South Africa because of the variety. I mean this in terms of environment, people and even food. Pretty much no matter where you live in the country, you can travel 20 to 40 km and you'll be back in the middle of nature, surrounded by a wealth of local fauna and flora, whether it's the long grasses and cosmos of the Freestate, the fynbos of the Cape or the lush semi-tropical plants of KwaZulu-Natal. If you are in almost any public place with a group of South Africans, you'll come into contact with people of different colours, languages and faiths. And if you're looking for traditional South African food, you could mean the spicy Cape Malay dishes, good old Afrikaans pap en vleis (a corn-based starch food and meat) or potjiekos (food cooked over the fire in a cast-iron pot), a township Smiley (a cooked sheep's head), or the Zulu favourite, amasi (fermented milk that's a bit like cottage cheese). Truly a rainbow nation in all senses of the word.

Right, I hereby tag:
Because I Can
Arkwife
Ruby
Po
Leez

Fridayness

There is nothing better than getting a nice handwritten letter in the post. That's why my grandfather and I write to each other. We could SMS (yes, at 82 he is great on the cell phone) or call, but we write.

I really wish I got more letters. Hence my question to you... Anyone wanna be penpals? Not in the "I'll write to you every week on Sunday at 2pm" strict kind of way, but just to exchange the occasional correspondence for fun. If so, email me: doodlesofajourno@gmail.com.

Ok, aside from that... it is Friday, and I am back at work. Yesterday was spent in bed, sounding like a donkey with my hee-hawing flu voice. TSC thought it was hilarious, of course. It's a bit better now. I just sound like a phone-sex line, or a 30-a-day smoker. All gravelly and such. And so, while it lasts, I will use it (as any woman would) to get exactly what I want out of my darling hubby. Hehehe...

Ok... I am stalling and writing rubbish, when what I actually want to write is: THE OFFER ON THE HOUSE IS ALL GOOD TO GO AND WE ARE SOON TO BE HOME OWNERS!!!

So excited! I've already started planning where the furniture will go, what veggies to plant and what sort of house-warming to have ;-) Yeeha! Our first house. Our house... in the middle of our street... Can't get that song out of my head.

On that happy (ecstatic, over the moon, joful etc.) note, here's a Friday funny for you. One of my favourite C&H strips:

Have you ever wondered...

How people figure stuff like this out? And yes, I tried it, it works for me.

Grab a calculator (you won't be able to do this one in your head).
1. Key in the first 3 digits of your work DIRECT landline phone number at WORK (NOT the area code).
2. Multiply by 80
3. Add 1
4. Multiply by 250
5. Add the last 4 digits of your work phone number
6. Add the last 4 digits of your work phone number again
7. Subtract 250
8. Divide by 2

DO YOU RECOGNISE THE NUMBER?

Nervous/excited

Right. Rather than bore you with the details of my disgusting and slimy head cold, let's talk about something nice. Well, for me, anyway...

We have made an offer on a house. And it has been accepted. Our only clause was that a structural engineer be brought in to have a look at a crack on one of the upstairs walls before we sign. So I am trying very, VERY hard not to get excited about anything until his report comes in (today or tomorrow), but I am walking around with butterflies in my stomach.

It is a wonderful house. TSC was sold on it because it has loads of garage and working space, and I was won over by the beautiful veggie garden and the fact that it's like something out of Anne of Green Gables. And the owners are nice. And the rooms are huge. And it has a fireplace. And, and, and...

Please, if you're the type who doesn't mind being asked, say a little prayer that (God willing) everything works out fine!

Says it all...

Too full of yet another head cold to write more bull.

Role play

Have you ever noticed how you end up in roles you'd never have imagined yourself in?

I've never seen myself as the entrepreneurial type. At all. I kind of pictured myself as a journalist working my way through the ranks at some nice glossy consumer magazine, until, after many moons, I would eventually make editor.

Instead, at the age of 24, I find myself working my half day PR job in the mornings, and then running my own freelance business in the afternoons. I'm not exactly sure how that happened, seeing I don't have a clue how to run a business.

Frankly, I am amazed that all the right paperwork got filled in and that the thing got registered at all, nevermind the fact that I actually have a couple of clients. I mean, the last time I did book-keeping was in grade 9, and I sucked at it even then. I have no idea how quotes and invoices and all that jazz works. Yet, somehow, I have still managed to get a bit of money in the bank. I still need to find someone to help me figure out the whole tax thing and do the book balancing so I don't end up in jail someday.

I just feel like such a fraud. I am terrified that someone will discover that I ended up here by accident and don't know what I'm doing. I stress that my clients will realise that I'm actually just a little girl playing dress up. This whole thing petrifies me beyond belief.

Is it like this for everyone? Somebody please say yes!

Current addictions

Right... Being Brazen tagged me to do this meme she made up awhile ago, and I am finally going to do it, seeing time allows.

Firstly, I tag:
Angel
Sleepyjane
Gill
Arkwife
Caz

Now... the rules:
*Post at least five current addictions (with some details please)
*Mention the person who started this game of tag (Being Brazen) and also the person who just tagged you (in my case, also Being Brazen).
*Type your post with the heading "Current addictions"
*Tag at least two people and pass on the above rules.

And, my cuurent addictions:

Viva la Vida, the latest Coldplay CD. I have a love/hate relationship with this album. I love the music, but I hate having the tunes stuck in my head for the whole damn day, everyday.

J'Adore by Christian Dior. One of my favourite scents, I got a mega-big bottle for my birthday.

Spring blossoms. It makes me so happy to see the green shoots and beautiful fruit tree blossoms along the roads of Johannesburg. Feeds my heart.

Easy Living magazine. This is a UK mag that I adore. I can only find it in Checkers and Exclusive books, but it's jam-packed with useful info on everything from beauty to health and simple solutions to everyday products.

Avocado. On its own, with balsamic vinegar in a salad or with grilled chicken breasts on a crusty roll... Yum.

Post, as promised

It has been a busy time! I guess it's the whole end-of-year-itis that hits around this time every year, but I really feel like I need a holiday now. That's wishful thinking, of course, but we're all allowed to dream.

My folks are setting off on their little little 3-week jaunt around Eastern Europe next week and I am so jealous. TSC and his team will be repainting their house while they're gone, which means that I will barely see him. That man is unbelievable when it comes to work. As soon as he has a project on the go, everything else falls away... his studying, his wife... *Sigh* I'm hoping that he'll be more reasonable this time, but I doubt it. I'm pretty sure that he sees this an yet another opportunity to try to prove himself to my folks.

In other news... I scraped the side of my car on a pillar in the parking bay last week. Argh! I drive so carefully and try to take really good care of my car and then I do something stupid like that. THEN... when I took the bloody thing to the panelbeaters, they tell me that, actually, the front of my car needs work too! Why? Because I went through a huge and completely unavoidable pothole that stretched right across one of the main roads in Rosebank (a very affluent part of Johannesburg) awhile ago, which has buggered up my bumper.

So I call my insurance agency and log the claims. Becuase the incidents are separate, they apparently need separate claims and I must pay the excess twice over. AND... because I am under the age of 26, my excess is very much higher. I could cry.

Sorry - this is very much a rant of a post, isn't it? Even Formula One has let me down. After quite a dull race on Sunday, the last few laps burst into action when the rain came down, and Kimi Raikkonen and Lewis Hamilton (two of the main championship contenders, from Ferrari and McLaren respectively) were fighting it out on the track. They came close to touching and Lewis, who was behind, needed to go off onto the grass. He came back on the track ahead of Kimi. Now, in this situation, a driver can be penalised for gaining advantage off-track, so according to the rules, Lewis needed to surrender the position back to Kimi. He did, letting Kimi pull in front of him. He then made another attempt at overtaking the Finn, and pulled it off magnificently.

Kimi then lost it and smashed his car into the wall, while Lewis managed to remain cool and calm in crazy conditions (skidding around a wet track on his "dry" tyres) to pull off a win. Celebrations ensued on the podium.

And then... because the body that runs F1, the FIA, and Ferrari are big buddies (fact: the Ferrari team boss and the FIA boss go on annual ski holidays together), Ferrari complained that Lewis still gained advantage off-track, and the FIA penalised Lewis by 25 seconds, putting him in third place, and handing the race to the other Ferrari driver, Phillipe Massa.

This drives me mental, especially because in the last race, Ferrari unsafely released Massa into oncoming traffic in the pit lane, which blatantly trangresses the regulations, which state that a team needs to check the pit lane before allowing their driver out. Did the FIA allow Ferrari's race to be compromised? No, they just gave Massa a fine.

Almost enough to make me quit watching. Almost.

Sorry for my absence over the past 2 days. I've been running around organising two big events, which are now (thankfully) over. I thought it would be downhill from here, but apparently not, as I have two freelnace rush jobs that I need to squeeze in that both require reserach and interviewing and need to be started and completed within the next four days. Eep!

So I leave you with a funny and a promise to post properly again soon.

"I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected the following items:
A litre of milk
A carton of eggs
A carton of orange juice
A 250 gram package of bacon
A head of lettuce
A 1 kilo can of coffee

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the Cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

Moral of the story... Never question a drunk."

Of Mondays and movies

Why does everything go wrong on a Monday? Is it so that you'll have the rest of the week to sort it out, or is it to drive home the point that the weekend is very definitely over? Just a question. Today hasn't been especially bad. Aside from the printer pulling its usual attention-seeking nonsense and the fact that ALL my colleagues are out of the office at an exhibition today, it's going fairly smoothly.

Our friendly kind-of-temporary receptionist, CK, is in for the day, so at least I have company in taking everyone else's calls and managing their clients. And it's unusually quiet, so I may actually get some of the things on my list done for a change.

The weekend was great. TSC's childhood family friend, Rob, spent it with us. He's really easy going and didn't seem to mind the fact that we didn't really give him proper guest status (which would've meant showing him the sights of Jozi [are there any?!?]; waiting on him hand and foot; and serving him 3-course gourmet meals). We treated him more like a member of the family, which means that he got to, go grocery shopping, sample my pasta a la Tamara, watch old DVDs with us and even help with the clearing up after meals.

We enjoyed having him, and I think he enjoyed his weekend. Yesterday was the long-awaited joint birthday picnic, which was AWESOME (in my opinion)! And yes, Slyde, after this, my b-day truly is over for the year, k?

It was a little windy, but we had a good turnout of over 30 people and there was more than enough food (I now have a fridge stocked with enough potato salad and various juices to last the next month). Everyone seemed to get along, and my only worry was that I didn't get to spend enough time with anyone because I was trying to talk to everyone.

Of the bloggers, Angel, Glugster, Ruby and Arkwife were in attendance, along with Angel's son, Damien (aka The Knucklehead). What an awesome bunch! I've only met Angel before, and I loved the chnace to finally meet her man in real life. He is just as sharp as he is on his blog. Although, Glug, if you're reading this, I still find you intimidating in all your technical wisdom ;-)

We made everyone play a loud and childish (but fun, I hope) game called 'Hah', which requires the use of both hands. Angel somehow managed to play with one hand while taking pics with the other. She also made THE MOST AMAZING CUPCAKES in the world! they were so beautiful you didn't want to eat them, but YUM, I'm glad I did! With purple frosting (my favourite colour), which was strawberry flavoured, and little sparkles and decorations, they were gorgeous works of art. And the red velvet recipe meant they tasted like a little slice of heaven. Mmmmm... making myself hungry now. Angel, I still have your cake tray! I must get it back to you sometime soon.

Ruby and Arkwife are also stunning ladies that I hope to see more of, and, despite the fact that they'd never met us before, they still managed to come up with a funky present - these spoons made entirely of chocolate that you stir into hot milk to make your own Belgian hot chocolate. How cool is that?

My only regret is that by the time everyone had left and we'd packed up, we were covered in sticky juice, various dips and other food remnants, so we decided to go home instead of visiting EXMI and went home to shower instead. Then we watched Untraceable, starring Diane Lane and Colin Hanks, which traumatised me with its twistedness.

Ugh... I get shivers down my spine just thinking about it. It's about an Internet serial killer who devises incredibly sick ways of killing his victims with help from his readers - the faster they post, the quicker they die. If you, like me, can't handle depictions of cruelty to animals or graphic scenes of torture, STAY AWAY from this one.

It would've been a bad end to a good weekend, but we saved it by rewatching one of my all-time favourite movies - Snatch, directed by Guy Ritchie. So funny, even the millionth time around.

Ok, this has been a long post. Ending it now. Happy 1st day of spring to those of you in the Southern Hemisphere!

Blog Day

Ok, I'm cheating, coz I'm writing this on 1 September and then post-dating it to 31 Aug, but I checked and it's still 31 Aug in the Hawaii-Aleutian time zone, so it's still International Blog Day.

So here goes...

My five blogs that I rate are:

• The Purring Cat, written by Kitty Cat. A life blog by a lovely lady living in a small coastal town in South Africa who started blogging very, very recently.
• The Arkives, written by Arkwife. Not really new to blogging, Arkwife has done the MySpace thing before, but settled on Blogger as her new space. Yay!
• My Quarter Life Crisis, by Leez. This is Leez's second blog in the space of two months, and it's brilliant. Even if he does write like a girl. Or so some say.
• Being Brazen, by Being Brazen. Not really a new blogger, Being Brazen writes from Cape Town and has been doing so since May. Always entertaining!
• Alas My Dear, by Alas my Dear. A grad student in cancer research, an amazing crafter, and soon to be a mommy, AMD writes beautifully from Singapore.

Hope you enjoy as much as I do! Visit the Blog Day website at: http://www.blogday.org/

The long walk to Friday...

Is, at last, over. It has been a rough week and I am super stoked that the weekend has arrrived.

I have as much energy right now as George Bush has common sense, so I won't be posting a long one today.

“Life is a cement trampoline.” —Howard Nordberg. Stolen from SA-Essay's blog, this is my quote for the day.

No, I'm kidding. It's really not so bad ;-) I have stuff to look forward to... picnic on Sunday, spa treatment for hubby and I next weekend (my birthday present from my parents), hubby's birthday next Sunday... And all these good things make the rough stuff okay.

Before I bugger off to spend some quality time with my pillow, a last cry to all those in Gauteng this weekend to join me for my birthday picnic. Mail me if you're keen: doodlesofajourno@gmail.com.

Have a good one!

Joke

i'm completely out of steam today (it's been a rough week), so you'll have to do with a joke, which may or may not be preferable to a proper post:

An old Italo-American man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Vincent,I am feeling pretty badly because it looks like I won't be able to plant my Tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies.
Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

The next day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,Vinnie

The lesser of two evils

I...will...call...the...estate...agents...today...

I don't want to, but if I will myself hard enough, I'm sure I can convince myself to call. Why would I do this to myself? Am I complete masochist? Sometimes. For instance, I like to play with the candles on restaurant tables and dip my finger in the hot wax... But I digress... No, the reson for this seemingly daft decision to contact the soul suckers is that I have decided that the estate agents are indeed the lesser of two evils.

*Gasp!* What could possible be worse than a mess of estate agents?!

My current neighbours.

NEED TO MOVE! If it's not the Celine Dion wannabee upstairs screaming, "A new daaaaay has beguuuun!" at the top of her lungs at 1am, it's the bunch of blokes on the top floor that chuck their cigarrette butts and the occasional broken glass off their balcony onto the grass in front of my veranda, or the troupe of drunken fools that howl at the moon from the other side of the complex.

Yes, I am grumpy today. Why? Let's think... "It's all coming back, all coming back to me now..." Celine was at it again this morning. No sleep equals very grumpy journo. Hmmm... This is a good time to call the estate agents, while I'm feeling murderous. Or maybe I'll just go look on the Private Property website instead. Yes... that sounds like a plan, batman.

Question

Why are people so scathing about life blogs?

Really. I have read so many articles and blog posts recently about how boring, pointless and altogether horrible blogs about the life and times of ordinary people like yours truly are. And I have read just as many guilty posts by life bloggers apologising for the fact that they blog about themselves and what's going on in their world instead of politics, art or some other dry nonsense.

I like life blogs. Seeing I write one, you probably knew that. But there are loads of other people who like life blogs. Why? Perhaps it's because we're voyeurs who enjoy a glimpse into someone else's life. Perhaps it's because it's nice to know that other people deal with similar issues to the ones we're experiencing. Maybe it's just fun to meet new friends around the world.

To the people who dislike life blogs, I say DON'T READ THEM. It's that simple. I don't like porn blogs. Do I write rude comments and protracted articles about how pathetic they are? No. I just avoid them.

There are too many people out there who feel like they have to convince the rest of the world that their opinion is the right one. Drives me mental. More mental.

I didn't start my blog to influence world history. I started my blog because I like writing, and these days blogging is easier than journalling (I can't tell you how many journals I've lost, had stolen, spilt coffee on etc). Then people started commenting on my posts, and I discovered a whole new side to blogging - interactivity with people I would never meet otherwise. And I love it.

So I will keep writing self-involved posts like this one, and I will keep posting emails that amuse me, and LOLcats, and committing every other supposed cardinal sin of blogging. MwahahahaHAHAHA! There's nothing you can do to stop me!

Anyone care to join me?

Right. Vent officially over. Moving along...

Winning stuff is cool. Especially MONEY!

How's that for an obvious statement?

Well, it's true at least. The relevance? Well, I forgot to blog about it last week, but I won some money by entering a movie competition. Basically, all you had to do was text a message to the competition line with your movie ticket number and the cinema complex name in it

And I did so, and won R2 500 (about $325 US, I think). That was awesome. But when the woman first called to tell me I'd won, she sounded like a telemarketer. Have I ever mentioned that the only thing that irritates me more than estate agents is telemarketers?

The conversation went as follows:

Her: Good day, maam. Do you have a couple of minutes to chat to me?

Me: (Frantically working on an MC script for an event that evening, surrounded by frantic eventing folks) Ummm... It depends what it's about.

H: I'm calling from , and...
M: I'm sorry, this is actually not a good time for me, so if you're trying to sell me something..

H: No, maam, I'm calling about...

M: (Getting snappy now) Listen, I can't talk, here's my husband, k?...

So TSC chatted to this woman. And when he put the phone down, he says to me, you do know you were just rude to the marketing director of .

Oops. Anyway, we sent her a copy of my ID and stuff, and they said the cheque would arrive around 15 Aug at the local cinema complex, and they'd call us. So 18 Aug, we call them and ask if it's arrived, seeing we haven't heard from them. Yes, yes... we can pick it up anytime.

Hah! When I arrive on 20 Aug (yes, my birthday!), to pick it up, they've misplaced it. ?!?!?! So I purse my lips and do my unimpressed dance (not really), and they tell me it's at another cinema complex. So I drive there, in a foul mood, sign for my cheque, and jump back in my car, where I open the envelope, and see that it's actually for R5 000, not R2 500 (so it's about $650)!

The coolest of birthday presents, no?

Friday in the smelly office

Brrr... It is cold in my office. And stinky. TGIF, I guess, seeing I can go home a little early. And... I'M NOT SEEING ANY ESTATE AGENTS TODAY!

This is indeed a reason to celebrate. I don't have to be dragged through houses that are a) way out of my price range; b) hell holes fit only for complete destruction; c) so far away from the area we're looking in that we'd need to commute by plane.

I don't get it - how does "3 bedroom, 2 bathroom, with double garage" get translated in an agent's brain to "1 bedroom, 1 bathroom, 1 parking"?!

And thank goodness TSC is in construction, because those agents will tell you anything to get you to buy. "That little crack there," they croon sweetly, pretending not to notice the rift as wide as my finger reaching from floor to ceiling. "That's nothing. A coat of paint will do the job."

Uh huh. That's about as likely as a band-aid fixing an artery that's been sliced open, dude.


Forgive me if any of you are estate agents. Maybe you're a nice person. The mess of morons (yes, that is the collective noun for morons according to the Doodles-dictionary) that I have met over the past month or so, however, has not left me much faith in your species.

Anyway... In other news (and I promise I will get over the subject soon), my birthday was great. Thanks for all the well wishes. If it wasn't for the damp carpet under my desk, I'm sure I've have felt all warm and fuzzy.

I was spoilt rotten (just like the carpet, which is spolit and rotten) and have lovely loot, including new oil paints and a beeeeg canvas, baking goodies, summer AND winter slippers (note to self: only hint for a specific present to one person); perfume and ANOTHER stick blender (note to self: clarify present hints with deaf grandparents. Electric beater and stick blender obviously sound similar. Or something).

Dinner was fab. If you're ever in Pretoria, visit Nuvo Cuisine. The best chocolate brownies I have ever had! Yum.

Right, I'm now over the birthday thing. For this year. And, to conclude this long-winded Friday post, and for the sake of tradition, here's a funny (or not so funny) for you:

Birthday post

The cake is a lie. Well, no. Not really. The cake is on my desk, so sorry for you if you're not in my office today. Sending you a virtual slice!

Floods and such

Joburg's weather has been miserable for the last three days. We all thought summer was on its way in and then this cold front arrived.

To make matters worse, I arrived in the office yesterday morning to find it wet. Very wet. Why? Because the twits in the office next to ours (one of only two offices on the floor to have a kitchen INSIDE their office - the rest of us all share one outside) put the plug in their sink and left the water running for THE WHOLE WEEKEND. Morons.

Of our six rooms, three are soaked. The storeroom was hit worst. And, of course, it's the worst room that could get wet. We've lost some packaging (very expensive to print), but the stock is fine. We've managed to save most of our job bags, and our server miraculaously kept going, despite sitting in two inches of water for two days.

Today is cold, though, and we have to keep the windows open to get rid of the damp-carpet stench that pervades every corner of the office. Blegh!

But... tomorrow is my birthday. Yes, that is a loud and clear statement to be translated as, "Please stop by and say 'Happy' tomorrow, k?"

Oupie and Lilly are up from the coast, so I'll get to see them and the immediate family (very appropriately named, seeing they want everything to happen immediately) for supper.

I've baked two yummy cakes - one for life group this evening and one for the office tomorrow. A coffee sponge cake with butter cream icing, and a marshmallow-frosted devil's food cake. Mmmm... I'm very impressed with myself ;-)

I've tagged the recipe for the marshmallow frosting on at the end, seeing Angel dumped on me for not adding it the last time I mentioned it.

The birthday event on 31 Aug is now a picnic outing (we have realised that you aren't allowed to braai at the dam). I'd love you all to come. Also, please everyone tell Ruby that she MUST come, seeing she's debating it.

Right... I'm off to freeze my butt off (actually, that would be quite useful) in my sopping office. Should be fun.

Marshmallow frosting:
Ingredients:

• 15 ml golden syrup
• 65ml water
• 100g castor sugar
• 2 egg whites

Heat the water, syrup and sugar on the stove. Bring to the boil and allow to boil until it reaches hard-boil stage (if you don't have a candy thermometer, drop a little into cold water to test). In the meantime, beat the egg whites until they form stiff, white peaks. Once the syrup mixture is ready, remove from the heat, and pour into the eggs in a thin, continuous stream while beating. Beat for a further 8 to 10 minutes. Pipe onto cupcakes or cake and decorate with sprinkles or glitter.

Blogging milestone

Woohoo! Today is my 100th post. It feels like it's been a long time coming, but I'm pleased to tick off a blogging achievement.

It's hard to believe that a year ago i didn't have a clue what a blog was about. Reading blogs and posting myself has become such a big part of my life.

So thank you to everyone who reads my blog. For putting up with periods of silence, random nonsense posts, rants and tirades and lots of navel gazing... THANKS!

I'd probably still blog if none of you commented, but it would not be nearly as satisfying. In other words, your comments are appreciated, so stick around!

Sending lots of mwahs into the blogosphere!

And have a FAB weekend.

Joke for you

A demure young lady getting ready to board a flight from Ireland asks the priest standing beside her in the queue: "Father, may I ask a favour?"
"Of course, child. What may I do for you?" he says kindly.
"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?" she asks.
"I would love to help you, my dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie," he says firmly.
"With your honest face, Father, no-one will question you," she replies.
When they get to customs, she stands aside and lets the priest go ahead of her. The official asks: "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare," says the priest.
The official finds this answer rather strange, so he asks: "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official says: "Go ahead, Father. Next!"

Systems

My posts are becoming more regular again, and it's not because I have less work. Nope, it's because I'm finally managing to put systems in place for myself. Filing systems, and office routine, and an understanding of which tasks are urgent and which are not.

For someone who's apparently a right-brained, creative, messy and ditzy chick, I have a deep appreciation of systems. Not that you'd guess that if you saw my house. Unlike my boss and my uncle (not the one with the Muslim boyfriend), I do not colour coordinate my socks or arrange my CDs alphabetically (I have given up on the latter, seeing TSC insists on leaving CDs scattered around the house after use), and my cupboard is a total disaster zone (I have also given up on this, seeing I have no cupboard space and it's my cats' favourite place to play). The spare bedroom (what a misnomer!) is completely filled with beads, scrapbooking stuff, mosaicing equipment, my drum kit and sewing machine, and various other clutter. There's no room to get through the door, let alone fit a spare bed.

But, at work, I am Little Ms Anal. I colour coordinate my to do list items according to urgency, I make endless lists, and I separate all emails into neat sub-folders. I need things on my desk to be set at right angles, and I cannot work when there's a pile of random stuff in front of me - it needs to be sorted out and packed away first.

If any of my colleagues are reading this (de-lurk now if you are!), they probably don't believe a word. But that's because they aint seen nothing yet. Now that I am settled in, the sytems will begin. And by golly, if you mess with the system, you invoke the inner banshee in me.

I am, as Boss Chick puts it, a segmented person. The voices in my head verify this. What about you? Do you split your self into different roles? Have those roles grown into their own, fully-developed and entirely opposite personalities? Or am I alone in my multiple personality disorder?

In other news, we have decided to do something simple for the combined birthday event. So we're having a "the-day-before-the-first-day-of-spring" bring and braai on 31 August. Mail me at doodlesofajourno.gmail.com if you would like details. Would love to see y'all!

Postscript: What is up with Blogger?!? It's driving me mental - I publish my post and it doesn't show on my page. And If I type in my address in a new window, the latest post it shows is from last week. Argh!!! When you can see this (if ever), please let me know if you have any clue what's going on.

House hunting hell

Good grief! If there's one thing I don't want to do on a Sunday is drive around looking at show houses. But that's what we did for five hours yesterday.

Maybe if I hadn't spend the majority of my Sundays as a child being dragged through other people's houses by my parents (who, for some inexplicable reason think it's actually fun), I might not hate it to quite the extent that I do.

At least we had company. R and A, our best "couple friends"* in Joburg, are also considering buying a house. But A is currently away visiting her mother in KwaZulu-Natal, so R is on his lonely ownsome. He thought it would be fun to tag along with us to house shop. Hah! How wrong can a man be?!

TSC and I are impossible - he's from the construction industry so he's uber-pedantic about structural issues and waterproofing problems, and I am just pedantic for no good reason. So we make our way around the properties like two secretary birds, with our hands clasped behind our backs, picking out faults.

"It needs to be repainted."
"Yes, and WHAT is this supposed to be? A design feature? Phah!"
"The rooms are small."
"And there's no cupboard space."
"The carpets need to be replaced."
"Immediately!"
"Hmmm... what would make anyone paint a room with mustard stripes?"
"Colour blindness, perhaps?"

The estate agents, with their large stick-on smiles follow us around, getting more and more neurotic by the minute, spinning lies at a rate of knots ("The huge, littered open field next the house is not a security risk... it just means you won't have to put up with noisy neighbours"). And R, poor man, probably had a massive migraine after the 15th house had been picked apart by the two house-busters.

But, being the resident creative genius, I decided that once 5pm had passed and the estate agents had packed their smiles away (with their "On show" boards), a drink was in order. and so we happened upon the ever-so-cute Cantina Tequila just off Cedar Rd. AND... It just so happened to be happy hour, so all cocktails were half price. Score!

They don't have a menu, so you just tell them what you want (a Cosmopolitan for me, a Long Island Iced Tea for TSC and a Caipirinha for R) and they make it up for you, with a bit of a twist. The slice of orange peel in my Cosmo gave it a lovely tangy taste. Mmmm... yum.

Being well-behaved, we declined the tequila that was poured straight from the bottle down the throats of eager patrons. "Next time!" shouted the waiter. Maybe.

But for now, I'd settle for a cabin in the woods where none of my freelance clients can harass me!


*Friends that both of you get along with that you see as a couple. Very rare species.

Friday funnies

FOR THOSE WHO ENJOY LANGUAGE (OR SEVERE DISTORTIONS THEREOF)
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine
A backward poet writes inverse.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Those who get too big for their breeches will be exposed in the end.
Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.

It's my party (well, it will be, I hope)

My birthday is on 20 August, and I'm stuck for a party idea. Over my (soon-to-be) 24 years on this planet, I've done pretty much everything there is to do for a birthday party, from going to the theatre to hiring a double-decker bus, murder mystery, four-elements themed, paintball, make-over / pamper party, purple party, chocolate-making class, braai, weekend away, high tea, night trip to the zoo and everything in between. Can you tell that birthdays are a big deal in my life.

I need something new for this year. BUT, I also need to find a way to cater for my friends who are students, those who have young children and people from church, work and family and that still meets my (basically nonexistent budget). In other words, I don't want to do something that will cost guests a lot of money (like going out for a big sit-down dinner), that costs me too much money, or that is only suitable for small groups. It needs to be suitable for all ages. And, to complicate matters even further, it's TSC's birthday three weeks after mine, so ideally we'd like to have a joint party that will appeal to both my loony friends and his conservative ones.

ANY IDEAS? I'm feeling very uninspired, and the best I can come up with is a madhatter's bring and share at my house, but that really doesn't grab me as hugely exciting.

Please note that all of you whom I read regularly and live in Gauteng (or will be here at the time) are invited!

12 Monkeys (well, 9, actually)

Saturday's dinner went quite well, in case any of you were wondering. We seated my homophobic father on the other end of the table to my gay uncle and his Muslim boyfriend, whom he refers to affectionately as "my mid-life crisis" (the age difference is about 20-odd years). In fact, Sammi (the boyfriend) is only a year older than I am.



My grandmother was miserable, which is a common state of being in her case. Much as I love her, she can drive me crazy. She did have a reason this time - she'd driven four and a half hours to see my uncle and he'd mixed the dates up, so they only had one evening to catch up before she had to drive back.



On this particular occasion, gran did not partake of the wine, so there was no dancing on the table with her prosthetic boob strapped to her head. She did keep trying to offer Sammi wine though, even though we explained that he's Muslim and thus doesn't drink alcohol. Everybody politely skirted the fact that, technically, homosexuality is not allowed in Islam either.



Poor Sammi was subjected to frequent barrages from our very non-submissive female family members, myself included. My mother thinks that foreigners need to spoken to loudly, in pidgin English, so she kept saying things like, "HOW YOU LIKE SOUTH AFRICA?" She sounded like a deaf non-English speaker herslef. LOL. I love my mom. She tried really hard to make conversation with Sammi while my father studiously ignored him and my uncle from the other end of the table and engaged in a heated (and oft repeated) pointless argument with my brother about car sound systems.



Any argument with my brother is futile. He just keeps on going until you give in to make him shut up. His vegan, ballroom-dancing teaching girlfriend, whose hippie father wears feathered earrings, is also not exactly my dad's cup of tea, so in between arguing with my brother, he tried to convince her of how normal we all are (hah!) and that she should come over from the dark side. His most-used phrase at family get-togethers is always, "I am the only normal one in this family!" This time, you could tell he was thinking along the lines of, "Jeepers, my loony wife and children are actually quite conventional after all."



TSC enjoyed his T-bone while the vegan girlfriend, seated next to him, went slightly green. The rest of us enjoyed some really good fish, which I'm assuming is Halaal by definition (correct me if I'm wrong).



Meanwhile, my gran regaled us with random tales of fellow small-town residents we've never met, insisting on going into great depth about each one's family history, how many pets they've lost and put down, and their full medical biographies. My uncle alternated between trying to translate into Arabic for Sammi and making rude remarks under his breath. One that stood out was when my gran was telling him about how my parents had taken her to ride an elephant while they were all on holiday, and how sore she'd been for days afterwards. Uncle's remark? "Well, at her age, she shouldn't be riding anything bareback".



Charming, right? That's my family.



I do love them to bits though. Life is never dull, that's for sure ;-)

Rocking the Daisies Tag

The tag is to blog about the Rocking The Daisies Competition so you can stand a chance to win tickets and an ipod.

Here’s how it works:
1. Blog about the competition, telling us all what you would take with you to the concert.
2. Link to RTD Competition and Digicape (the sponsors)
3. Tag your friends in the post.
4. Register here, tag your name and my name (angel) and copy your blog post onto their website.

The list:
1. TSC. A concert is no fun on your own. Besides, at my height, I may need to sit on his shoulders!
2. Comfy shoes. Self-explanatory.
3. Camera.
4. Sunglasses.
5. Loads of layers of clothing.

Not very exciting, I know. But very practical, you have to admit.

I hereby tag:
Because I Can; Ruby; Supanova; Boldly Benny and Charmskool.

Blegh

Yes, an auspicious beginning, wasn't that?

That's how I feel - blegh. I worked till midnight after my dinner guests left last night, and then crawled into bed only to spend the rest of the night rushing to the toilet to throw up. I haven't thrown up in years, so I found this quite disturbing. I don't know whether I've got a tummy bug or if it's something I ate. Hopefully not the latter - don't want to have poisoned my guests! Although hubby seems fine.

Urgh. My stomach feels like it's trying to digest itself. I'm going to finish up my most urgent work taks and then go home to bed. Hopefully I'll get to spend some time sleeping there this time.

Anyway... wish me luck for my Saturday dinner with my gay uncle, his new Muslim boyfirend, my homophobic father, my teenage brother and his vegan girlfriend, my mad granny, carnivorous husband and my semi-normal mom!

HECTIC... It be Thursday

I know, I know... the subject of my posts is becoming all too familiar, but really - this week feels like it hasn't happened. Between othotist appointments, network issues and a pile-up of admin, I haven't had time to blog or to read my favourite bloggers. And seeing that's usually how I measure time, I feel very confuzzled.

So here's a good ole Slyde-style bullet point list of the latest happenings:

• Bloggirls on Sunday was awesome. There were only four of us (myself, Jackson's Mom, Phillygirl and Angel), but I just love these women so much and we chatted abotu everything from weddings to arguments, babies, men and everything in between. It's so much fun seeing each other in person once in awhile as well as reading each other regularly.
• I have to have orthotics (inserts to wear in my shoes) made. Again. Sigh... The last pair I had were in my gym bag that got stolen and my feet have been getting worse and worse. So now I have to spend a huge sum of money on a real grudge purchase. But it's necessary, so I'll just have to suck it up.
• I won R2 500 in a Ster Kinekor competition. Which may cover my orthotics. What a fun way to spend my money ;-)
• My uncle is in SA. He lives in Dubai, and I haven't seen him in ages. He didn't even come to my wedding. We used to be really, really close, but a couple of years ago things fell apart and I don't know where I stand with him anymore. I'm a bit nervous to see him on Saturday evening. Eep!

And that's about me for the moment. Now I'm going to go and read about YOU.

Eep - it's Friday again!

Where does the week go?


Here's a funny for your Friday, which I imagine is folk etymology, seeing I can't believe it could be true:

Tagged

So Leez tagged me to do the 8 random things meme. Here it goes:

1. I hate people touching my neck. It freaks me out completely. Even TSC has a hard time getting near my neck without being smacked.

2. I love office stationery. It makes me happy when I have lots of pens, pencils, highlighters and other paraphernalia on my desk. It's the simple things.

3. When I forget to wear my watch, I feel naked. I have to hide my wrist so people don't see it without its clothing! Strange, I know.

4. Although I loathe shoe shopping, I absolutely LOVE shopping for gifts for other people. I could spend all day trawling a shopping centre for that perfect something.

5. I am terrified of the telephone. I hate, hate, HATE having to call people I don't know. In my job, I have to do this A LOT, so you'd think I'd get over it. Sometimes I write myself a script, which makes it a bit easier.

6. My name, aside from meaning 'perfection' (hah! I wish), is of Hebrew origin and means palm tree. Joy.

7. Being an absolute heathen, I drink my white wine with ice. Shock, horror! Funnily enough, it drives me mental that my in-laws insist on chilling a good bottle of red wine overnight before drinking it. I mean... really!

8. I desperately want my own house and garden so that I can paint my walls, hang as many pictures as I'd like and plant my own veggie garden.

I'm not tagging anyone, but please feel free to do this meme and let me know so that I can see how random you are too.

Networks, connections and other such wonders...

I have an especial love of that thing that happens when everything seems to work together nicely. I will call it serendipity, for lack of a better word.

To explain what I mean... Say you sell handbags for a living. One day, you visit a friend for tea, and meet another of her friends that takes fashion photos. You get chatting and she asks to use some of your handbags in her next shoot. You get exposure and she finds a willing supplier. Silly example, but you catch my meaning.

Well, I am finding that blogging opens a new world of connections for me. I blog because I love to blog, but more and more, it is coming up in work situations. I have found friends, sources, business contacts and inspiration through blogging, and it doesn't seem to end. I can't believe there was a time when I didn't blog!

Do you sometimes feel like this, or am I just on an insane caffeine high?!

Friday post

Wow! Another week has flown by. So loving some of the clients I'm working with (including the one with the blog). Not so much the one that's been giving us headaches because of an ad they flighted that has caused much offence. But I've learnt about PR crisis management.



In other news, I'm giving a beading lesson at the office this afternoon. Yay! I think the last time I gave anyone a lesson was in varsity. BossChick had this awesome idea of doing something creative every Friday, so last week we iced cupcakes and this week we're beading. I've brought a huge bag full of my bead boxes to the office, which I had to sort through last night. Poor TSC waited for ages for me to come to bed, because I was happily seated on the living room carpet, surrounded by beads and two naughty cats that were trying to steal them.



Grand Prix this Sunday. Yay!



Anyway... Friday Funny:

I [particularly like this pic, coz the kitty looks just like my Marble.

Funny for the day

Corporates in the blogosphere

What do you think about companies that have blogs? I think it's pretty cool, becuase it's a live way of interacting with them, but I know that a lot of people reckon it's a bad thing for a company to start a blog because it's like advertising.

I pitched the idea of a blog to a company we're working with, and they bit, so I had to start the bloody thing and load up tons of content all in one day. Coupled with the five meetings I had from 9 to 4 yesterday, it's made for a trying two days. But it's all done, and I think the blog is cool. Of course, I can't tell you what it is, but if any of you know how to get people to read corporate blogs, let me know!

A Saturday post

Wow... This is my first ever post from my laptop, and may be the first on a Saturday too. I'm at my folks' place, hooked up to their Internet (Schweeeet!) so that I can download Adobe Reader, so I figured I'd write up a quick post, especially seeing I have not been very good at the post-everyday thing for the past while.

Ruby commented on my last post that every profession 'has its thing'. By this, I guess that she means that there are jokes asbout every job. For example...

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."

AND

A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman manages to bull his way into a woman's home in a rural area.
"This machine is the best ever" he exclaims, whilst pouring a bag of dirt over the lounge floor.
The woman says she's really worried it may not all come off, so the salesman says, "If this machine doesn't remove all the dust completely, I'll lick it off myself."
"Do you want ketchup on it?" she says, "we're not connected for electricity yet!"

What's your profession and what's your best work-joke?

My industry

How the media would handle the end of the world

USA Today: WE'RE DEAD
Wall Street Journal: Dow Jones Plummets as World Ends
National Enquirer: O.J. and Nicole, Together Again
Inc. Magazine: 10 Ways You Can Profit From the Apocalypse
Rolling Stone: The Grateful Dead Reunion Tour
Sports Illustrated: Game Over
Playboy: Girls of the Apocalypse
Lady's Home Journal: Lose 10 Pounds by Judgment Day with Our New "Armageddon" Diet!
TV Guide: Death and Damnation: Nielson Ratings Soar!
Discover Magazine: How will the extinction of all life as we know it affect the way we view the cosmos?
Microsoft Systems Journal: Netscape Loses Market Share
Microsoft's Web Site: If you don't experience the rapture, DOWNLOAD software patch RAPT777.EXE
America OnLine: System temporarily down. Try calling back in 15 minutes.

Random thought

First Monday in the new office

Seeing I started the new job last Tues, this is my first Monday in the office. So far, so good. I had my first status meeting, which was actually a lot of fun (especially since I brought home-made cake - the bribery starts). We have a chill room, filled with beanbags and stability balls, and everyone is very honest and open, which is cool.



The end of last week was quite hectic, and I had my first taste of PR crisis management, which was thrilling, if a little stressful. The weekend was good - we had a potjie and wine lunch on Sat, which was lots of work, but lots of fun. And we wtached loads of DVDs and chilled, so I got a bit of rest, which I think I really needed. I forget how much energy big changes take out of me!

Here's a Vernie pic for you...

Friday?! Already?!

This is the strangest feeling - I can't believe it's Friday. Usually, after a full week, I arrive at Friday like a deranged desert-wanderer desperate for water, clawing my way towards the weekend.

Today, I feel like it can't already be the end of the week. Why? I'm not entirely sure, but I think it's a combination of factors. I've been so busy, between the new job, setting up my CC, changing my bank accounts into my married name and so on, that time has flown. Then I started the new job on a Tuesday, which made it feel like a Monday, so today feels like Thursday. And, I guess, I'm just loving learning so many new things, which also makes time go by faster.

Shew! As for Hubby's nickname... I LOVE your suggestions. So funny I spat a mouthful of tea onto my monitor while reading them. Hehehe... gross, I know. I would love to get inside your heads for a bit to find out where you come up with some stuff. I think that I will go with a combination of Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills' 'The Chin' and Glugster's 'Sheepskate' and call my beloved 'The Sheepish Chin' (TSC for short).

So thanks for your help, my lovelies. I am slowly making my through your blogs to catch up on all the news I've missed. Have a great weekend.

Returned from a long absence

Hello loyal readers *she says optimistically*, especially Charmskool, Phillygirl, Angel, Boldly Benny and Sleepyjane (who were kind enough to leave a comment on yesterday's pathetic three-line post). After temporarily falling off the face of the earth, I am back in blogland.

has been a busy period indeed. I am on day two at the new job. So far, so good. I went to my first client meeting this morning, which I really enjoyed, and I like the people I'm working with. In true blogger fashion, I will come up with suitable nicknames for them in good time. Today, I'll start with my new boss, who calls eveyone 'chick' or 'dude', which is slightly bizarre coming from the company MD. So, very unoriginally, she will henceforth be known as Boss-Chick. She is very cool and bluntly honest. I foresee a time when I will need to tell myself "don't take it personally" when she exercises that particular character trait, but at least I always know exactly where I stand with her.

In other news... If you haven't see Kung Fu Panda, you HAVE to see it. Laughed my butt off, Well, actually I unfortunately didn't managed to rid myself of my behind, but I got a great ab workout. Jack Black was the perfect casting choice, as was Dustin Hoffman. Hubby and I saw it on Friday night, and it was a great start to the weekend.

Speaking of hubby... I have decided he needs a better nickname too. Any suggestions? Here are some facts that may help in procuring him a worthy name:

• He is a big, strong rugby player of an Afrikaans man;
• His parents are sheep farmers in the Northern Cape;
• He is currently studying;
• For the past few years he has worked in the construction industry;
• He likes to think of himself as a rough and tumble kind of guy, but he turns into a gooey softie when he cuddles our kitties;
• He also turns into a big puppy when near baby doggies, rolling aorund on the floor with them and making dog sounds;
• It took him six months to remember my name when we met during our gap year;
• We hated each other when we met. It took a slap for us to get along;
• After four months of long distance dating (which sucked) at the beginning of our romantic relationship, he completely freaked me out my telling me I was the woman he wanted to marry;
• He has a complex about his chin. For some reason, he thinks it's too big. I, of course, reckon it's perfect;
• He sucks at suprises;
• He doesn't read any of my work. In fact, he doesn't read. This studying thing will be interesting.

I look forward to your suggestions!

Sorry for the long silence...

I started the new job today, so it's been a mad rush to get all the ends tied up at the previous company. I will post soon with news of the new job and weekend and other such stuff. Forgive this short post, and please do come back!