Friday, 8 August 2008

Friday funnies


FOR THOSE WHO ENJOY LANGUAGE (OR SEVERE DISTORTIONS THEREOF)
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine
A backward poet writes inverse.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Those who get too big for their breeches will be exposed in the end.
Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.

4 comments:

sweets said...

LOL! who thought of these ??

Charmskool said...

Excellent! I love those clever play on word things

Ruby said...

lover them!!!! made a decision on your party yet?

angel said...

very funny!