Weekend away in Mooinooi

Monday.

Meh.

Well, at least the weekend was good. Friday evening was spent with my folks in Pretoria and we all went out for supper to Fishmonger in Centurion. It's a Friday favourite with my parents because they serve the most delicious fish (for some reason my parents don't eat meat on Fridays. Catholic upbringing, I guess) and TSC enjoys it because they do a mean steak too. It was great (especially my squid heads - yum). I love that I'm finally at a place where I get along with my folks and we really enjoy each other's company.

Saturday morning we left for Mooinooi, a small town built around a mine near Rustenburg. Literally translated from Afrikaans, it means something alongs the lines of "pretty girlfriend".

Since moving to Joburg we've become good friends with the parents of a friend from varsity, who was also the MC at our wedding. While they are the same age as my parents (maybe even a bit older), we get along really well with them. They (let's call them Elle and Zee, which, lucky for them, are not their real names) had invited us to spend a night at their plot along with an Australian couple who were visiting Africa for the first time, Jo and Steve.

It turned out to be such fun. We arrived shortly before lunch, unpacked and had a lovely al fresco meal on the veranda. We chatted for ages and eventually retired for an afternoon nap. Afterwards we headed off for a short walk (about an hour in total) to watch the sunset. Most of the sun was obscured by clouds, but it was pretty anyway. Well, judge for yourselves:

When we got back, the two dogs who live on the property had arrived and TSC had a great time playing with them (big puppy that he is) before getting the braai ready. I made pap (pronounced pupp) and relish for the Aussies to sample and TSC, resident braai-master, dazzled all with his deliciously spiced and perfectly-cooked beef steaks and lamb chops.

After a few glasses of nice wine (Backsberg rosé and Inkspot vin noir) and a few hours of easy conversation, the Aussies headed off to bed and our friends followed shortly. TSC and I decided to give the outdoor showers a try.

What a cool experience! Because the plot is set in the middle of the bush, there is no-one around for miles. Under the full moon we took a steaming hot shower in the cool night air. The showers are open on one side, facing away from the buildings and have no roof. It was a new feeling - the cold air, the moonlight and the hot water.

If I ever have a house in the middle of nowhere, I will build a shower ilke that. And one inside for winter, of course ;-)

Sunday morning TSC and I awoke before dawn (we're not used to taking Saturday afternoon naps and it completely threw our sleep out) and had a cup of coffee alone on the Verandah before Elle and Zee joined us. Eventually Jo and Steve appeared and we enjoyed a light relaxed breakfast together.

Then at about 10am we donned our hiking shoes, hats and sunblock and climbed into the bakkie (light utility vehicle / ute / truck / pick-up for you non-locals). We stopped on a nearby plot where the walking trail begins and set off for the river. It was really hot, and by the time we arrived at the waterfall and pools, I wished I'd brought my bikini with. Elle and Zee got into the water and the rest of us rolled our trousers up and dipped our legs in. It was cold! But lovely. The rocks are textured from hundreds of years of rippling water, and the deep pools were beautiful. I wished I'd lugged my old manual SLR camera along instead of my snapshot camera.

When we eventually got back it was almost 2pm. We had another great al fresco meal before packing up our things. TSC and I dashed off, picked the cats up from my folks and made it back home in time to have a quick shower before we had to be at Montecasino for church, which was great.

We're in our third week now and we've got an average of 260 people attending. I think the concept of a church in a casino establishment makes people curious. And I think it's more accessible to many people in terms of location and time than our morning services at a local school.

So a good weekend, all in all. Let's hope it's a good week too. For me, for TSC (who is writing his first varsity test today) and for all of you!

Follow up post

Thanks for everyone's support and comments on yesterday's post. I actually considered taking it off my blog because it's quite emo and a little embarrassing. But I figured it's good for me to keep a record of the stuff that goes on in my head. For some reason it helps me to make sense of things.

Strangely, although I have no problem blogging when I'm angry or really excited, I struggle to blog when I'm depressed. It's only once I've got through the worst of it that I can share the stuff that's been going on.

In other words... I reckon I'm fine now. It's been a crap period, but I think I'm heading upwards again. My mother thinks I'm manic depressive, so if she's right, I'm due for a happy spree round about now ;-)

Depression unfortunately runs in my family, and although I've been off the meds for a few years, I'll probably always battle with it. I tell myself it's ok because my extreme emotions seem to mean that I am capable of feeling things very deeply. This can actually be a good thing (and a bad thing) because just as darkness will strike me hard, so too the small joys of life are highlighted and enjoyed to the fullest degree possible.

For those who have never experienced chemical or clinical depression, please understand that it's not something that you can just "snap out of". And taking a walk, listening to happy music or being with friends doesn't fix it. I wish for everyone's sake that it was that easy.

Unfortunately, most people tend to withdraw when depression hits. When you need family, friends and support most, you don't actually feel up to it. If there's someone in your life battling with this, please be patient. And please keep trying. It does matter. Even if the person can't show you that.

I know there's some of you who think I'm being a drama queen and that I don't know how easy my life is and how blessed I am. If that's what you think, ok. I have no beef with you.

But I do know that I am incredibly fortunate to be well-off with a husband, family and friends who are the best a person could ever wish for. And my life could be infinitely harder - I understand that. It's hard to explain how the feelings conflict within me. The best way I can put it is that the psycho twin doesn't get these things. The sane one does.

So basically, thanks for your love and support. I think blogging has been a breakthrough therapy tool for me - when I can't bring myself to talk about these things with TSC or my family, I write about it here, and getting it all outside of my head helps the sane twin to put things in perspective and take the reins again.

Weird space

First of all, thanks to everyone for the well wishes yesterday. And I honestly wasn't that upset about the follower. It just makes me wonder: "Did I write something taht offended him / her? Does he / she find that I'm no longer entertaining..." And so on.

Good news is... the follower is back. *gleeful grin*

Secondly, overshare warning... this is one of those self-involved navel-gazing posts that would probably be more appropriate in a private diary. I have warned you.

So... onwards...

I'm in a strange space with myself at the moment. You may be thinking that any space I'm in will be weird simply by association, but it's more than that. See (here comes the overshare), for those of you who don't know, I've suffered from various eating disorders over different periods in my life. And although I have been fine for the past three and a half years, I don't think I'll ever really "get it out of my system".

What I mean is... Yes, I don't make myself throw up anymore. Or abuse diet pills / laxatives anymore. Or starve myself or exercise compulsively or weigh myself a million times a day (in fact, I don't even own a scale). I no longer compulsively count calories, pretend to eat food and then hide it or even forbid poor TSC from eating certain food groups along with me. I don't do any of those insane things I used to do. But... I do go through periods of "darkness" when I feel tempted to step out of my sanity and do one or more of those things again.

I never do.

I KNOW that the best way forward is to eat healthily and exercise enough. I understand that eating small meals throughout the day and allowing myself treats without going overboard or being a food Nazi keeps my metabolism up and stops me from craving. I know that exercising regularly not only stops me from freaking out but also gives me a great endorphin boost.

I know these things. That knowledge doesn't, however, stop me from having stretches of absolutely hating my body (specific bits more than others) and getting completely distraught about the fact that I can't change it quickly enough to make me feel better. And I'm not talking about a blue mood or two... these are spells of depression that last weeks and sometimes months and remind me of really dark times when I was fighting against hospital admittance and contemplating suicide and all that crap.

I once explained it to my shrink (poor woman) as having twin personalities that battle it out in my head. The one twin is fairly normal. She has moments of insecurity like most women and doesn't like her squishy tummy very much. But she believes that she's doing her best and that should be good enough. She lives moderately, understands that certain times of the month will be rough and gives herself a little leeway.

The other twin is completely loopy. It's when she's won the argument that the insane complusive behaviour starts. She is never satisfied with herself and gets disproportionately upset about things. She overanalyses compliments and turns them into insults and she rages with anger at the drop of a hat. She believes that everyone secretly can't stand her and is convinced that action - severe action - must be taken against her useless self as punishment or something. A complete control freak, she is irrational and unreasonable and she cannot live in a middleground of any kind.

Hmmm... just reread all of that. I'll forgive you if you do stop following me - I don't make very much sense sometimes.

I've been in one of those yuck phases for the past few weeks. Not too extreme, thankfully, but still not-so-nice for TSC to have to deal with. I really wish I knew what triggers these things, but I just don't. They happen seemingly without my involvement - pyscho twin takes over and I'm just along for the (unpleasant) ride. My brain seems to turn into an organ of pure, extreme emotion and lose any ability to process logic.

For instance, I discovered that one of my favourite girl bloggers is pregnant a few weeks back. She wasn't planning it and she and I had actually discussed how terrifying the thought of pregnancy is. Reaction? Psycho twin latched onto this new idea to explain her unhappiness with her body - she must be pregnant. Her body had decided to wage war on her and do something really extreme.

Now please understand that TSC and I sorted out our contraception ages ago and have been very, very careful ever since. Neither of us feel ready for children yet. But almost every month, psycho twin has a panicked moment when she supposes she might be preggers. Until the curse arrives and then sane twin steps in.

This month was infinitely worse. Sane twin should've done the smart thing and bought shares in the home pregnancy test company before psycho got going. But she didn't. And psycho went into all-out-compulsive mode, stressing and fretting and measuring and imagining. She's a bit stupid, this twin, because she doesn't talk to anyone about her panic. She just carries on, dragging the weight of her crazy illusions with her in a constant blind stress-fest.

Thankfully, her period arrived at long last. Relieved as she was, this meant that she needed to find another reason to explain why her body won't behave the way she wants it to. And her thoughts turned once again to those severe methods that might beat it into submission.

Sane twin continues to resist these compulsions towards self-abuse. Fortunately her strength is enough to hold her twin back from taking action. Even if she can't make her stop thinking about it. That's something, isn't it?

200th Post

Yep... This is my 200th post on this blog. It came a lot faster than the 100th post. Happiness ;-)

But also a bit of sadness... I lost a follower today. *sniff*

Concentrating on the happy stuff though - tomorrow is Friday!

Here's a funny for you:

How to make twins...

Weary Wednesday

It's only the middle of the week, people! How can this be? Is the universe and all its cretins conspiring against me to tie me down in a tangled web of incompetence and inefficiency, tied neatly with a bow of bereaucracy and ignorance?

Grrr...

What has set me off this time, you may be wondering? Is the infamous UJ? Surprisingly, no. Although that paragon of patheticness has given me grief this week. But that's a whole other rant on its own...

No, my friends, the culprit this time is far more sinister, with scaley arms and metallic claws that reach even further afield... it's TELKOM.

For those of you who are fortunate enough not to have experienced the mammoth uselessness of South Africa's archaic telecommunications (non)service provider, the utility is widel-known locally by its well-earned and appropriate nickname, Hellkom. In fact, there is an entire parody site dedicated to Hellkom here.

So what did they do this time?

About three or four weeks ago, TSC and I took a trip to our local Telkom Direct outlet to get our landline sorted out. Our mission was simple: to get the line that had previously been in the house re-activated in our name.

Huh!

An hour and a bit later, the dreadlocked dude who was "assisting us" finally finished up the paperwork and told us our line would be active within 48 hours.

Surprisingly, it was. Only it was a different number to the one that had been operating from the house previously. We didn't give it much thought and happily informed family and friends that we had a new home number.

Just over a week later, the line went dead. There'd been a big storm, so we figured it was that. But it wasn't. See, somehow, Telkom had managed to give us a number that already belonged to someone else - an IT company in a nearby mall.

Idiots.

So TSC went in to the shop to sort it out. "No" they told him, "It's in your wife's name, so she must do it. Tell her to call this number and they'll help her."

K... I called that number about 50 million times. Okay, slight exaggeration, but it was a lot. Eventually I got through to the waiting line. I waited for five minutes or so and was given the option of a call-back (you leave your number, they call you when an operator becomes available). But nobody ever called me back.

So this morning I called again. After answering many questions or varying relevance, I was told that they have no record of my application and that I have to go and start the whole bloody process again.

Can. You. Believe. It?

Please note, Slyde, that there is no mention of sunburn in this post. So I hope you can relate now.

More sunburn and some yummy Mythos

If my sunburn on Saturday wasn't bad enough, I decided to work in the garden in my bikini on Sunday morning. Seeing it was quite early and it looked like it was going to rain, I reckoned I wouldn't need sunblock. See, I figured I'd only be busy for about half an hour before rain set in.

Instead, the sun came up, I got so involved in planting a new bed that I forgot the time and I ended up with a luminous pink back and my usual pale white front. I actually took a picture, but decided for your sake not to post it here.

It didn't hurt until Sunday evening, when it started to be all hot and prickly. But now it hurts like hell on my one shoulder (the other one mysteriously remains pristine white) and I struggled to sleep last night, especially seeing TSC kept creeping onto my side of the bed and (unintentionally) elbowing me in my sunburn.

If that wasn't bad enough, my cats decided that they'd investigate my bathroom cupboard and ended up knocking my make-up foundation off the counter so that it shattered on the floor, waking us up with a huge fright.

Cleaning up base is no fun. Especially early in the morning when you should be asleep.

Needless to say, I'm a bit bleary-eyed this morning. And I'm running out of clothes that don't chafe my sunburn.

Sunday afternoon I ended up wearing a sleeveless poloneck shirt so that my mother wouldn't yell at me for getting burnt. Normally I practically bath in sunblock before I go out thanks to her training.

It was her birthday and we went to a restaurant called Mythos in Bedfordview. There's actually one in Design Quarter in Fourways, which is much closer, but my mom had been to the Bedfordview one and loved it, so she booked there for her birthday lunch.

As the name suggests, it's a Greek restaurant. The decor is gorgeous - walls lined with stacked white pebbles and tables with holes in the centre that had (very pretty) fake olive trees "growing" out of them. It looks much better than I'm making it sound, I promise.

My mom's best friend Anne shared a meze platter for two with me. Kleftethes (Greek meatballs), lamb and chicken souvlaki (kebabs), prawns, grilled calamari, yiro (thin-sliced beef strips), tzatziki (cucumber and yoghurt dip), taramosalata (fish roe dip) and pita bread. Yum! So good.

For dessert I had the grilled halva topped with peach, which was sublime. When our budget is less stretched, TSC and I will have to try the one that's nearer to us and see if it's as good. That's something to look forward to ;-)

The lunch went well and my mom liked her prezzies. Now... to figure out the next gift for the anniversary...

Sushi and sunburn

What a cool weekend it was. Well, not literally. We finally had some sun, and of course I wasn't prepared for it and toasted my fair Irish skin to an alarming shade of pink.

But let me backtrack to the beginning of the weekend... Friday evening, TSC and I decided to try the Japanese restaurant down the road from us called Tsuyu for an early supper. It had been highly recommended to us and seeing we were both really hungry, we liked the fact that it was so close. At 6.30pm it was already packed, and we could only get a table on the sidewalk, which wasn't ideal, but we decided we'd put up with the nosy shoppers checking out our food as they passed for the sake of some good sushi.

They have some interesting things on the menu - proper Japanse dishes, not just the tame version South Africans are used to. TSC decided he'd like a hot meal and went for a rice dish topped with pork and egg. I thought it was really good, except that it arrived 30 minutes before my sushi did!

By the time my food arrived, TSC had tired of trying to be polite and had stopped waiting for me. He'd long polished off his rapidly-cooling food when my sushi eventually appeared. And it was the wrong order, so back it went.

When the correct order eventually made it to the table, I was so hungry it probably would've tasted like heaven-sent manna even if it had been old and soggy. But that said, it wasn't. My tuna nigiri was fresh and super-yummy. The crab California rolls were average, but my deep-fried-chicken California rolls (apprently for those who want to try sushi without the "eww" factor of raw fish) were a delicious surprise.

But all in all, I think we'll stick to the other Pinslopes sushi restaurant. I can't remember it's name, but it's next to Billy the BUM's and it's the best sushi I've had in Joburg. Plus, Tuesdays are buy two plates get one free. Yum!

Saturday was a spontaneous day - we had promised to entertain our British friend Ephraim from church, who has been in SA since Nov 08 and has yet to see any of the sights. He doesn't have transport and hadn't told us that he had been spending weekends and evenings sitting home alone. So we took him to the Joburg Zoo along with our friends A and R. Off we went, with a picnic packed for afterwards.

We had a cool time walking around, eating snow cones and trying to spot the animals (most of which were hiding in dark corners from the hot noon sun). But I must say, the zoo was way cooler when I was a kid. We had a picnic at zoo lake afterwards and I realised I'd once agian managed to get a weird-shaped sunburn. It looks like someone drew a semi-circle on my shoulder in sunblock, coz I'm burnt everywhere but there. Bizarre!

Then it was off to my boss's birthday drinks with Ephraim (poor boy) in tow, where we were accosted by several hammered people who each tried to convince us to do Jager-bombs with them. No thanks - hate Red Bull, hate Jagermeister. Not going to happen!

And then we went to see Rock n Roller, Guy Ritchie's latest film. It's not up to the standards of Snatch (one of my favourite movies ever). But since divorcing Madonna, it does seem like Ritchie is back on track and this flick way infinitely better than Revolver.

Anyone else seen it? It so, I'd love to hear what you thought. And your favourite quote form the film. Mine must be Johnny Quid: "Don't worry. He can't defend himself - he's got no head."

Still giggling over that one.

The end of the interview

At last! I'm sure that's what you're all thinking. But here are Shania's last few questions and my answers:

4. Do you have any further news on the abused little boy who used to live in your complex?

Yes. He was eventually removed from the home for his safety. I'm not sure where he's been placed for now, but his grandparents have hired a lawyer to try to get him back to them in the Ukraine.

5. Did you resolve your feud with "L" over the story miscommunication?

Yes and no. We emailed back and forth and supposedly sorted things out, but we haven't spoken since and it's still a touchy point.

6. You've lived in a lot of places. Where is your favorite and why?

I honestly don't have a favourite. Every place was special for me at a time in my life, and there's things I love about all of them. I loved the chilled lifestyle in Durban and the fact that everything's quite close together - you don't have to drive very far for anything. And I love the subtropical climate and plants and the amazing fruit. Not the mokeys though or the tourist season in December.

I loved the beauty of Cape Town and the summers. I miss going for sundowners on a beautiful beach with my Cape Town friends and I miss knowing where everything is (Table Mountain is a great landmark that makes it easy to know where you are). I loved driving through to Stellenbosch and the wine routes and being so close to my best friend, Nicola. I don't miss the heavy winter rains and the salaries there were rubbish, so we found it incredibly difficult to make ends meet.

I loved being close to my family in Pretoria and also being near to my friends from my Gap year. I love the afternoon thunderstorms in summer and the history of the place - the monuments (old and new) and the union buildings. I love being able to find my way around; I love the Irene Country Market. I shopping is good and there's lots going on. But the people can be snobby sometimes and there's still a lot that hearkens back to the apartheid era.

And Joburg... I hated Jozi for the first while I was here, but now I've learnt to enjoy the arts and culture, the friendliness of the people, the opportunities and the diversity (of people, places and everything else). I love owning a house here and I ADORE my church. I've been a member of numerous churches before, but this is the first time I've been this passionate about it. On the downside, traffic sucks, the pace and ratrace are insane and there's less to do that doesn't involves spending money.

7. Are you unpacked from the move?

On the whole, yes. Aside from a few boxes that I'm pretending I can't see ;-)

8. Have you ever thought of opening an internet store for your jewelry? Or something like etsy? Just curious.

Yes, but never seriously. I'm a bit scared of it, for some reason. Probably because my jewellery has always been a hobby, so it needs to take the back seat to work and family. I guess I worry that I'd let people down. Or that people wouldn't like my stuff enough to pay for it!

The end.

I promise ;-)

Restaurant review and random question

There are some weeks where I seem stuck for blog material and there are other weeks where I don't have enough days for all the posts I have in my head. This has been one of the latter. Today I decided to write about something that is old news, but I feel like getting it out of my head and onto the screen...

I went to a restaurant with my folks and TSC last weekend (Friday evening, to be exact) at the Irene Village Mall in Pretoria called Ala Turka that serves Turkish, Lebanese and Greek food. The place is beautifully decorated and even has a little shop inside that sells belly dancing clothing and so on.

We had tried to find the restaurant's details to make a booking beforehand, but seeing they had recently relocated to the centre from somewhere else, they weren't listed in the phone book. We decided to pitch up and try our luck anyway, and they told us they had a space for us upstairs. What they didn't tell us is that there is a live belly dancer on Friday and Saturday evenings and a R20 charge per person surcharge to cover this entertainment.

While the belly dancer was BRILLIANT (at one point she dances with a plate full of candles balanced on her head), I think we should have been told about the extra cost. Furthermore, every time she came out to dance, the music would be turned up to an almost unbearable level so that we couldn't hear each other across the table, even if we were shouting (it was quite embarrassing when the music went off and I was still busy shouting).

The room was also so dark that we had to take turns taking a menu to the bar area to try to read it under the light and make a decision. We eventually had our order taken. I chose the Sheikh Al Mihshi - a Lebanese dish. It's an oven-baked aubergine stuffed with lamb meat, herbs and spices, cooked in a tomato-based sauce, served with yoghurt and pilaf. TSC opted for the fillet with the house "special sauce". My mom had a meze platter and my dad ordered the lamb kofte.

Over an hour later, our food arrived. By this time, hunger pangs and loud LOUD music had made everyone rather grumpy. Thankfully, the food was amazing! My aubergine dish was like a little slice of heaven on a plate and TSC's fillet melted in my mouth. I didn't taste my folks' food, but I believe it was also very good.

So I think I'd go back to Ala Turka. But at lunchtime. When there's daylight. And no pumping music.

Now onto my random question... Any ideas what I can get my parents for their 30th wedding anniversary? I don't have that much money to spend and they have pretty much everything anyway. I've done photo collages, scrapbook albums, personalised calendars, theatre tickets and family photos before and I am stumped! The big day is 24 Feb, but they'll be away in Zanzibar for the week, so I've got a bit of time. Suggestions would be welcome.

The next interview instalment

Last week I started answering the questions that Shania sent me, and here is the next one, which takes up a whole post on its own:

3. In this post you mention that "it took a slap" for you and your husband to start getting along. Care to offer details?

Ok... TSC and I met during a gap year programme we did at a church in Pretoria. We all (80-something of us) lived in student houses (where I shared a room and a cupboard with five other girls). There were three of these houses: two that were co-ed and one that was all girls. I was in one of the co-ed ones and he was in the other. I can distinctly remember the first time I met him...

The house I was in was the only one with a swimming pool, so we invited the others over for a braai (BBQ) and to cool off in the pool. Of course, a game of water polo / piggy in the middle / stingers started up. We were all playing, and I noticed a gorgeous guy from the other house who was in the thick of things. Just then, someone knocked the ball out of the pool near where I was, so I hopped out to get it. As I came back to the pool, someone grabbed my ankle and tried to pull me back into the water to grab the ball from my clutches.

It was that gorgeous guy, now known as TSC, and he ended up pulling me off balance so I fell into the water, painfully scraping my entire leg against the sharp brick edge in the process. I had a massive scrape on my inside thigh that started bleeding. And he just grabbed the ball and off he went - no apology or anything. "What an arrogant pig!" I remember thinking, not knowing at the time that he could barely speak a word of English and was so embarrassed that he'd hurt me that he'd run away at full speed.

You can imagine my joy (not) when the outreach teams were announced and I discovered I'd be spending hours with this awful person. In fact, I didn't like anyone on my team. Funnily enough, five years down the line, one of them is my husband, another is one of my best friends and another was the best man at our wedding. Shows you that first impressions aren't always that accurate ;-)

TSC and I butted heads frequently during our outreach training. We both have strong personalities and can be EXTREMELY stubborn, and we couldn't bear each other. Eventually, sitting in a cramped minibus for six hours on the way to a town in the middle of nowhere for a one-week outreach, we got to talking. During that week, we chatted a bit more, and I decided that he wasn't so bad. I could just about bear him. Although I still found him chauvinistic and a bit abrasive.

But TSC is the world's worst passenger - if he's not driving a car, you don't want to be in it with him. He fidgets and gets irritable and just can't keep still. On our way back from the town in the middle of nowhere, TSC and I were sitting next to each other and he was quickly driving me insane. He had decided that it would alleviate his boredom if he annoyed me as much as possible, so he kept doing childish things like sticking his finger in my ear or trying to poke me in my neck (I hate, HATE, HATE people touching my neck). Eventually, he picked something up and was dangling it in front of my face, trying to bump me in the forehead and I was fending him off with both hands, when one of them decided to slap him hard across the face.

I maintain that I had no intention of slapping him at all - it just happened. My hand had obviously had enough and decided to let him know. And I felt TERRIBLE about it! I kept trying to apologise to him, but he just turned his back on me and wouldn't talk to me at all.

Three hours in total silence in a cramped minivan is not comfortable, let me tell you. Eventually, when we stopped for a pee break, I got his cell phone number from one of the people on the team. When we were on the road again (I was still sitting next to him), I sent him a text message apologising for the slap. For some reason it worked. And he seemed to respect me a little bit more. As though he'd figured out (took him long enough) that women aren't all docile and simpering.

See... all some men need is a good smack ;-) KIDDING!

Anyway, we became friends after that and often joked about the slap. At the end of the year, I realised that I needed to break up with my boyfriend of the time, although it had nothing to do with TSC who had gone back to Upington. I didn't think I'd see him again and I was really sad at losing someone who had become such a close friend.

But when he rang me up to tell me he was coming back to Pretoria, my heart leapt a mile high and I realised that I felt a lot more than friendship for him.

When he arrived, we discussed the fact that I was fresh out of a relationship and that I was leaving for Cape Town to study for three years and that it didn't make sense for us to start a relationship.

But we got together anyway. He moved down to Cape Town six months later. And just under three years after we started dating, I married the man I had once detested.

More thoughts on Obama

What were your feelings on the day Barack Obama was inaugurated as President?

Sass:

Well, I stood in the middle of the room as I watched him take his oath of office. I smiled as the mistakes were made. I felt that made him just seem so human. I had tears in my eyes as I watched history being made. Not because he's a black man, but because he's a good man. I firmly believe he's the right man. It wasn't lost on anyone, the significance of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday being the day before the inauguration. My kids even pointed this out to me. And my 9 year old daughter said it best when she said, "maybe with Barack Obama's help, we can all just get along."

What's the one thing you think he most needs to address in his term?

Slyde:

Well, I’d say the economy, since its clearly our biggest immediate issue, but the recession is really on such a global scale, that I’m not convinced there is much ANYONE can do, besides just wait for the natural cyclical nature of things to right itself. That said, he needs to get our men out of iraq, and back home, like yesterday. If he can do that in this term, and that turns out that that was ALL he could do, I’d still consider us ahead of the game…

CP:

The domestic economy followed closely (and tied to) the US involvement in overseas conflicts.

Shania:

I feel the most important thing President Obama needs to address is the economy, since everything else depends on it. Secondly, health care and education. I could expound for pages on these and many more subjects, but in the interest of brevity I'll leave it at that.

Dizzblnd:

First and foremost, the economy has to be addressed. Figuratively speaking, he is the dog that caught the tire.... lets just hope he knows what to do with it. I do not expect a fast fix. I DO expect that he can help fix what has been so wrong since the 50's . All of this mess we are in... is a result of the world living on credit. Living beyond our means for so long to keep up with the Joneses when we KNOW we can't afford it. Continuing to throw money at the problem to fix the money problem is counter-productive and oxymoronish. I hope he understands that.

Sass:

That's a tough one. I think there are so many urgent situations, to pick one would be a challenge. I don't want to downplay my feelings on the war in Iraq. I believe it was a poor planned, hastily decided conflict. I believe at the root of that war is George Bush's need for power and oil. That being said, when I see a soldier in the grocery store in uniform, I thank him or her. I pray for them and their safety. So I think that's really important. But for me and my family, right now, the most important issue to me is probably healthcare. I don't have a firm grasp or understanding of other country's healthcare policies, but I see too many people not getting treatment for illnesses because they have absolutely no ability to pay. Too many children go to school sick, hoping the nurse will pass them some medication for that fever they're fighting, because she's their only hope. I look at my own son, and with our current system, if my husband were to leave his job, my son would go uninsured. When he becomes an adult and gets his own job, he may not qualify for health insurance due to his congenital heart defect. He takes daily blood pressure medicine that, without insurance, we'd continue to give him but we'd struggle to pay.

Thanks to all my American friends for taking the time to answer my questions. I've enjoyed reading your responses and I'm sure my readers have too. Right, guys? ;-)

Thoughts on Barack Obama from my American friends

The inauguration of Barack Obama as US President is a big deal not only for the USA but for the entire world. I wanted to pay tribute to that fact on my blog, but as a South African, I don't know very much about US politics. So I've asked a few American blog buddies to give me their thoughts some questions. Here they are, as they were sent to me:

The question:
What were your feelings on the day Barack Obama was inaugurated as President?

Slyde:
I was hopeful, and proud. Very proud. For the last 8 years, ive been kind of ashamed of my country, and how it has carried itself in the world. I don’t know if that perception is going to change under an obama registration, but I can say that I am hopeful. I think the rest of the world currently views the U.S. not too kindly, and im hopeful that mr obama can fix that somewhat.

CP (of Three Giraffes):
Great hope for a much needed change but tempered by some skepticism for the blind adoration being heaped on a man who has yet to do anything to prove himself.

Shania:
I actually attended the ceremonies, so my first answer is short and to the point. COLD! That's all I could feel, lung searing, nose freezing COLD. I kid. I actually felt a myriad of emotions, primarily relief with hope following close behind.

Dizzblnd:
I was by parents whom on my mothers side my grandparents were VERY racist. My mom did not like being raised like that. She never let my grandparents watch us for fear we would be "brainwashed." She is not a racist. My dads parents, I don't believe were racist, my dad is not a racist. My husbands parents and grandparents WERE racists and although tolerant, he finds it hard to shake the beliefs that were instilled. We have raised our children to be color blind when it comes to race, religion etc.. it HAS to end if we are to survive. That being said, as a registered Independent, I am very much a conservative. I lean and vote Republican every election. This past election was no different. Although the world has come a LONG way, I was not sure the world was ready for a black president. I was wrong. I am glad I was wrong. I felt a sense of pride that this country has come so far. I hope, against hope that he will be a great president. I hope that he, along with the other leaders of the world can help bring us back to the peaceful, prosperous world we once were.


More to follow tomorrow.

Weekend Post

JOSIAS GOT IN TO UJ!





At last.

Another interview with me (poor you)

The lovely Shania did an interview post awhile back, and has kindly sent me some really interesting questions to answer here that she's taken from my archives. So I'll start with the first few answers today, and the rest next week.


1. Have you had any further success with reducing your carbon footprint? Is it easier now that you're in your own house with a garden?


I'm happy to say that I think the answer to this question is 'yes'. I'm trying to live a greener life, which is made easier by the fact that our house is in a complex that offers a recycling service, so I have a bin for paper and cardboard, one for plastic, tin and glass and another for the non-recyclable stuff.


Now that I have a garden, I have started a compost heap and am growing my own vegetables and herbs, which means I can cut down on shopping trips and on buying produce that's had to be transported from somewhere else. I don't use chemical pesticides, which means that pests can potentially be a problem, but I pick off the snails and caterpillars by hand, spray with an organic mixture of chili and garlic, and make use of plant partnerships that work. For example, planting loads of different plants in one space actually puts the pests off because they find it harder to sniff out the ones they want to chow.


I also have a big tank that collects the rainwater from the roof, so I use that to water the veggies instead of tap water. And we have become really good at turning ligths off when we're not using them, making the best use of natural light and switching appliances off at the plug point when they're not needed instead of leaving them on stand-by.


I'm closer to work and within walking distance of the shops, so I've cut down on my driving too.


2. You mentioned you were writing your grandfather's memoir. How is that going?


Unfortunately, the answer is that it isn't going. But I've asked my grandparents to come and visit us in the first quarter of this year to see our new house, and I'm hoping to get started there. I'm quite scared by how big a project it actually is, and if anyone has advice on how to tackle it, I'd be grateful. So far I have a set of questions I'd like to ask and some draft chapter ideas, but that's it.


Right, I'll answer the next questions next week, so come back then to find out how it "took a slap" for TSC and I to find love and other random stuff.


And have a great weekend. Here's a funny for you:

An update on the aggro

This week's frustrations just won't end!

I just want to say: I HATE the attorneys handling my property transfer and I LOATHE University of Johannesburg.

The former are driving me mental about the rates and taxes. Some of you may remember that the losers told me to trek into town for nothing twice last year (I vented about it here and here).

Well, the slimeballs-from-another-planet-masquerading-as-conveyancers contacted me again this week to tell me to do the same thing again (try to open a rates account). I said no, I've already done that and it didn't work - apparently (according to the municipality and the estate agent), the rates account will be automatically opened in my name, but may take a few months.

Then the wench I've been dealing with has the nerve to argue the point with me and say that she's never heard of that before. She's sure I need to go in, open an account and pay a deposit. She says I must phone City of Joburg and ask them again, implying that I am making this all up and just trying to stall on paying the deposit.

So instead of sending her the first email I typed out, telling her exactly where she could get off, I called City of Joburg. After 10 minutes of listening to their awful adverts and the "let's-try-kill-you-off-before-an-operator-becomes-available" music, I get through to someone who tells me exactly the same thing - there's nothing I can do except wait for the rates account to be opened in my name.

I then type another (more civil) email to afore-mentioned wench:

Dear ------,

I have called (011) 375-5555. I was told that the rates account will be opened automatically, but can take six or seven months until the previous owners’ account has been finalized. I explained that I have opened the Eskom and Johannesburg Water sewage account and asked if there is anything else that I can do. Apparently not.

I then searched the City of Joburg website and found this document, called “Buying and selling property”:
http://www.joburg.org.za/index2.php?option=com_content&do_pdf=1&id=716

Here is an extract from the section entitled “Opening an account”:

“Rates accounts will automatically be created in your name, as the new property owner, as soon as transfer is registered at the Deeds Office.”

This is taken from a further document, “Accounts”:
http://www.joburg.org.za/index2.php?option=com_content&do_pdf=1&id=741

“Rates accounts will automatically be created in your name, as the new property owner, as soon as transfer is registered at the Deeds Office. It may take up to 10 weeks to receive and update new owner records.”

Kind regards,
Tamara

Vat so, poppie!*

This week has not been good for my blood pressure.

In other news, TSC has to write another entrance test at UJ this morning, coz they're not sure what's going on. Joy. As if the first one wasn't stressful enough!

Anyone feel like donating some Valium? Or a trip to anywhere but here?

*Loose translation from Afrikaans: "take that, Barbie!"

Useless UJ... again!

OMW - so frustrated with UJ. For those of you who don't know UJ, I present to you a brief exerpt from their website:

Becoming UJ

The University of Johannesburg was established on 1 December 2005. It is the result of the incorporation of the Soweto and East Rand campuses of Vista University into the Rand Afrikaans University, which took place on 1 January 2004, and the merger of the Rand Afrikaans University (into which the two Vista campuses had been incorporated) and the Technikon Witwatersrand on 1 January 2005, to create the University of Johannesburg (UJ)...

Confused yet?

Everything is complicated with these people. After FINALLY being told that he had been accepted to study there this year (he found out last week, can you believe it?!), TSC headed off to register at the varisty yesterday, documentation in hand and deposit paid.

He arrived there at 7.35am. Resgistration was set to begin at 8am. At 9.45am he sent me a text msg: "Hey my love. Have been moved to three different queues now. Oh happy day."

An hour later, he called me:

TSC: I'm not in.
Me: What?! How can you not be accepted? They told you that you were - you even have the letter from the HOD giving you his personal acceptance if you passed the entrance exam. Did you fail?
TSC: No. But now he says they're full and other people did better on the test than I did, so I'm not in.
Me: This is bull. They said you were in! Is there nothing you can do?
TSC: No. I just need to figure out how to get the deposit refunded. *sounding absolutely miserable* I've gotta go. I'll see you at home, k?
Me: Ok. I love you, my angel. Wish I could fix this for you.

I spent the next hour trawling the internet for local colleges and varsities taking late admissions. The he called me again:

TSC: I just spoke to the lady I've been dealing with in admissions about the deposit and she says she has my acceptance letter on her desk, so I am in.
Me: Huh? So are you in or not?
TSC: I really don't know - she says I must wait until tomorrow and she'll find out what's going on and give me a call.
Me: But you're supposed to be at orientation tomorrow morning if you're in!
TSC: Apparently there's about 30 of us just in this course that don't know if we're in or not.
Me: Seriously? That's crazy. Are you ok?
TSC: Ja... not much I can do except wait.
Me: This sucks. But whatever happens, it'll be ok. There are other options, you know. We'll figure something out.
TSC: Mmm.

Poor man. He's so stressed about what happens next. Understandably - it affects our future hugely.

I could kill those twits that are messing him around. But I'll just vent here instead. A felony wouldn't do much to fix things, would it?

Somnambulist abuse and weekend news

I am so glad that it's Tuesday! Sorry for all the doom and gloom in the last two posts. Yesterday was just frantic with two clients needing urgent press releases to be sucked out of my thumb, two pre-scheduled and immovable meetings and one unexpected crisis.

I'd also like to explain Friday's grumpiness. See, the night before, I had gone to bed late, but was sleeping very soundly. TSC on the other hand, was having a horrible nightmare that someone was breaking into our house. So, in the dream, he beat the guy up. In real life, he leant over and elbowed me in the chest with such impressive force that I've been teasing him about the bruise ever since.

Imagine being woken up in the dark by a massive thwack - you'd get a fright, right? Well I did. I thought someone was breaking into our house and was attacking me. I totally panicked. Even after I'd calmed down and my heart had removed itself from my vocal passage, I still couldn't get back to sleep. Hence the sleep-deprived grumpiness of Friday's post. Apologies again.

On to nicer stuff... We had our first housewarming event on Saturday. A bring-and-braai for almost 50 people. It was awesome (if busy). On Saturday morning we bought one of those plastic swimming pools (the ones with the inflatable top rings that you just fill with water), which proved a huge success with kiddies and adults alike. And I had been making various desserts since Wednesday (including the most beautiful white chocolate tart, topped with strawberries, that I didn't even get to taste because it was snapped up so fast), so I just made a few salads and set everything out before people started streaming in at 2pm, bringing me enough potted chrysanthemums to last a lifetime.

We had a diverse group of people - neighbours, old varsity buddies, church pals, my parents and our friends from Pretoria. But everyone got on really well. Connections were made (for example, one neighbour discovered that she went to school with my gran's sisters in Bulawayo) and conversation flowed well.

When the last folks left at 20.30, we sat back and realised once again that we have really amazing people in our lives. My only regret is that I was so busy trying to get to chat with each person that I didn't have time to take photos. But seeing we still have a few more housewarming events coming up, I'm sure I'll have another chance!

No post today, my mojo's gone away...

You know when you have a Monday that is intent on proving to you that it is indeed Monday? today is one of those. Back tomorrow.

PS: Brownie points for those of you who get the song I'm referencing in my title today. It's ancient. And about dairy.

The aggro is back

My blog has been all chipper and dandy lately, so I thought it might be time to return to a little cynicism and snottiness for today. Especially seeing I am in need of a vent. As such, here's my list of things that pissed me off this week:

1. UJ. University of Johannesburg has been my single greatest stress-causer over the past few months. And I'm not even a student there! See, TSC applied to study there, starting this year, and has has endless problems from them ever since. From telling him he was accepted then denied then accepted to moving the date of the entrance exam without telling anyone, they have excelled at sucking. He eventually found out two days ago that he is indeed accepted. Which gave him a whole week's notice before he needs to start the academic term. The award for inefficiency is undoubtably theirs. Well done, useless UJ.


2. My to-do list. It is pages long and as soon as I do one thing, five more get added to it. Usually not-nice things either.


3. Clients who think my world revolves around them. No explanation needed.


4. Gauteng BMW drivers and taxis. They piss me off every week. Unfortunately I don't usually handle it as well as Louisa.


5. Lurkers! All you folks who stop by and don't comment, I ask: why not? Am I not worth your comment-love? Please, please, please... delurk now!


6. Blogger. Yes, even beloved blog host has annoyed me this week. It wouldn't let me access any blogs yesterday. Just RSS feeds. Which meant no commenting for me. Tlak about depriving me of joy!

Right, now that I have that out of my system, I can have a chipper and dandy Friday. Wishing you one too. I leave you with this...

What goes through your mind when someone says "let's go for drinks"?

Bits and Pieces

For those of you Joburg girl bloggers who aren't on Phillygirl's mailing list, here's advanced notice that the Feb Bloggirls event will be at my place and will be a housewarming do for the usual suspects plus partners and kids. I'll sort out the details closer to the time. But don't forget that the Jan event is just around the corner so go sign up now!

A funny for you that rings true with me:

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, cheque or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to
purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a
television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

And one or two pics:

A bowl of moth pupae for breakfast, anyone? Taken at the Africa Silks Farm in Mpumalanga. The tour was fascinating - I hadn't realised quite how labour-intensive silk farming is!

A view through the veil - taken from underneath the Bridal Falls near Sabie.

And that's all for today, folks. Have a good Thursday.

Photo post, at long last

Yes - I finally remembered to bring my camera and its cable to work. And so, voila - a few holiday snaps:

Coffee Beans growing on the Sabie Valley coffee farm:

Lisbon Falls near Graskop:

A tree that I just liked:

TSC holding our "holiday cats". They appeared on the first day and spent every day with us, sleeping on the beds at night too. I really wished I could've taken them home. I named them Liquorice and Milktart for their colouring.



The Pinnacle, near Graskop. Check out the mist!

I'll probably bore you with a few more snaps now that I've saved the pics to my PC.

Btw... For a good laugh: read this post at FutureBackwards!

Interview with me!

The oh-so-lovely Sleepyjane did an interview post on her blog, and invited anyone who wanted her to make up some interview questions for him or her to drop her a comment. Despite being so humble and modest (mwahahaha), I took her up on her offer, and here are her thoughtful questions and my (probably less thoughtful) answers:

1. If you could choose any talent to be blessed with, anything at all, what would it be and why?

First question and I'm already regretting this ;-) Ummm... I guess it would be helping people. I so often want to help out and end up just feeling awkward and useless when I try.

I'd also love to be really musically talented. Or to be incredibly good at making money. Hehehe... how shallow am I?

2. If someone said that they would pay you X amount of money but you are NEVER allowed to blog again, what amount would you accept?

Not blog?! Sheesh... hard one. Realistically, now that I've made such awesome blogging friends and have most of their email addresses, I'd accept enough money to cover four months' salary so that I could get set to start freelancing full-time. So long as I could still read and comment on everybody else's blogs!

3. If you could have been born in any other country, which one would it be and why?

Ummm... Zambia? Because it's where my mom was born, I find the people incredibly friendly and it's not too far away from good old South Africa ;-) Or France... Just to have a cool French accent, decent public transport and holidays in Spain! Not too keen on the French men though.

4. Tell me something that you are proud of, like some goal you reached?

I'm still proud every time i see my name in a publication. It never wears off. Even if nobody's ever heard of the magazine or book. Which is usually the case ;-)

5. If you could be a member of the opposite sex for a day, no strings, would you do it and why?

YES! Who wouldn't? Especially if the guy had to be me for a day and I could arrange for the swap to happen at "that time of the month" so I could miss a day of that hell. And educate the dude a little. *evil grin* But yes... I'd like to know how it feels to be a boy, to be able to pee standing and whether people treat you differently at work, in shops and so on as the other sex. The best would be if TSC and I could swap for a day. I'd love to know how it feels to be him when we're in bed ;-)

That was fun. If any of you would like me to send you five interview questions, leave me a comment and let me know.

From Scottish lodges to Australian flicks

The weekend was fabulous, which was great after a holiday that was quite so-so. Glenburn Lodge was a lovely venue for our church. Yes, there's a bit too much fake rock and Scottishness around for my liking, but the rooms were well-maintained and tastefully decorated, the food wasn't bad at all and the facilities are very good.

My previous weekends away with the churches I've been part of were usually student camps or nationwide conferences. Accomodation consisted of dormitories with shared bathrooms and we normally had to bring our own bedding and sometimes even cuttlery. Schedules were often quite tight, and although I enjoyed every experience, I sometimes wished for a bit more free time.

So it was a nice change to have our own hotel room and some privacy, as well as time to socialise and chill on the Friday evening and between planning sessions on Saturday. Our leaders are a great bunch of people and we laughed our way through a Singstar competition in the bar and many rounds of pool. I love the fact that they are all so genuine and don't pretend to be holier than thou. Even our head church leader will grab a beer and have a go at the karaoke.

We had such a good time and were a little sad to leave on Saturday evening. But the rest of the weekend was good too. We ate lots of focaccia and saw Australia yesterday with our mates R and A, which was a very long movie but really enjoyable. I loved seeing Hugh Jackman playing an Aussie (seeing he is one) and Nicole Kidman squealed less than usual and actually did a very good job. The little boy, Brandon Walters, is just beautiful with his soulful eyes as Nullah, the mixed-race aboriginal child that warms Kidman's heart.

I enjoy Baz Luhrmann's films. They have a rich, bold quality that sweeps you up into the fanciful storylines he seems to be attracted to. He weaves strong visual and emotive themes into the film's fabric that carry what could otherwise be considered a laboured plot.

I guess this is a film that you'll either love or hate. I'm in the first category. If any of you have seen it, let me know your thoughts.

Where is everyone else?

I thought we were coming back to work fairly late, but I keep getting "out of office" emails fom clients and suppliers... Seems like there's a fair number still on holiday. Lucky bums.

Today was going to be a photo post, but this evil genius once again forgot her camera at home. Honestly! My absent-mindedness is astounding.

Off to core leaders church camp at a lovely little lodge in Muldersdrift for most of the weekend. Hopefully I remember to take the camera with!

Happy Friday and see you Monday ;-)

Of blogging affliction and warm houses

It's so awesome to be back at the blog. During the long hard hours when I was putting in my in-laws time, I wished I had access. Not specifically to moan or vent (well, ok... maybe a bit), but to have an outlet to get what I was thinking and feeling out of my head, because once I've written things down, it seems to give me renewed perspective. Then, of course, there's the fact that people leave me nice comments commiserating with my situation ;-) It's always nice to feel like someone understands.

So, yes... the blog addiction is still strong with me! Just so you know.

In less navel-gazing news, TSC and I wrote out a list of people we plan to invite to our house-warming party. The total is 150. Sheesh! I didn't know we knew 150 people, let alone wanted them in our home.

But I seriously don't think we could fit that number into our house. Not unless we stacked them sideways. Which wouldn't be much fun, you gotta admit. Unless you're the perverted type. And then I don't really want to know.

So we have now decided to have... wait for it... FOUR housewarming do's! Insanity is strong with us too, it appears.

This poses a further problem (the four events, not the insanity - that's quite enjoyable), as we have a grand total of TWO free weekend days this month, and then next month's weekends are almost booked up already with my mom's birthday, my parents' 30th wedding anniversary and the like.

But, in typical evil genius fashion... I have a plan...

It involves much abuse of the ellipsis... (in case you hadn't noticed), the collusion of various sinister (and not-so-sinister) people, and the borrowing of many chairs, a braai or two and perhaps even some pavement... All will be made clear in due course.

Or not.

And it's not that evil or exciting anyway, except in comparison to the 'to do' list on my desk today. Which I must now tackle like a Springbok would an All Black - viciously and without a thought for the pain it will cause me ;-) A rugby reference, for those of you lucky enough not to know what I'm on about.

Cheers. For now.

Back at the Blog

Wow... Reader is full to the brim of posts I've missed. Inbox is overflowing with spam. January weekends are already fully booked...

2009 is truly here.

Retreating under desk...

Withdrawal symtoms suck!

Seriously! Who would have thought that blogging could be so addictive? It hasn't even been a week since my last post and I couldn't go any longer without sharing my inane and unimaginative holiday-brain thoughts with the blogosphere. Sheesh! I need net access at home. First priority for next year!

I got stuck into the veggie garden yesterday. I am sunburnt and look like a lobster, but it was awesome. I will take pics and try to post them again soon.

I just wanted to tell you all that. Because for some inexplicable reason you guys seem to care. Awesome it is indeed.

Well, I don't have much time, but I'm going to do some quick reading (sorry if I am too hasty to leave you a comment) and satisfy my bloggy needs ;-)

Christmas humour

Have a jolly Friday. See you when I see you!

Warning

For any of you who may be regulars here (yes, this is a bit of a presumptuous post. Deal with it), please note that due to lack of internet access, this may be my second last post for awhile. I promise to try my best to post occasionally during my holiday, but as I finish work tomorrow and will only be back in early Jan, and I don't have internet at home, don't hold your breath. Unless you're a masochist, then please - knock yourself out.

BUT... do return tomorrow. I have some twisted Christmas Friday funnies for you.

Until then... I leave you with a Christmas email classic (just in case you haven't seen it before):

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 01, 2003
RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 02, 2003
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 03, 2003
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 04, 2003
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from
The dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross-dressing allowed though. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*!@g Employees
DATE: October 05, 2003
RE: The F*!@g Holiday Party

Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*!@g salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die,

The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!


FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: October 06, 2003
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Christmas presents and more plagiarism

This morning I see that another one of my press releases has been published online by the same sneaky journo who took credit for the last one. Once again, she has used her name on stuff I wrote. Sigh... I doubt I will ever be ok with this aspect of PR. Anyway... onto a nicer topic: presents.

I love shopping for gifts. Love, love, LOVE it. I can spend hours trawling the mall or market for something perfect for the person I'm buying for, and usually start my Christmas shopping in September. This year, however, I lacked money due to needing to fund a new house and various other expenses, and am only just starting the shopping now.

Seeing I don't have a 13th cheque like I did last year, the gifts have to be less expensive, but I still want to get TSC something special. Specifically, a table tennis set.

Why? Because that's what he wants, for some odd reason. He could happily play ping pong for hours on end, and while I don't understand his fascination with it (I can play for 45 min tops before I'm bored out of my skull), I'd much rather buy him a table tennis set than a Playstation.

He has been nagging me to get table tennis since we moved to Joburg, and I promised him that when we moved into the new house and had more space, I'd buy him a table.

Problem is, I can't afford it. I have to buy presents for my family, his family, our friends and my work colleagues (not to mention the various secret Santa stints), plus an anniversary present for him (for next Tuesday). We also need so much stuff for the new house (and by need, I do not mean the new carpet I'd love to buy for the floor in the living room or the gorgeous scatter cushions I spotted at Boardmans - I mean stuff like cleaning equipment and other such joy-inspiring purchases). And we need to pay our house-sitter while we're away, and keep some money stashed for petrol and spending for the holidays.

So, TSC is unfortunately not getting a table tennis set for Christmas. The cheapest fold-up one with wheels I can find is R1 500 and I just can't stretch my budget that far on one present.

I was feeling miserable about the fact that he wouldn't be getting what he wanted until I remembered that as well as space for ping pong tables and the like, the man now also has space for his all-time favourite thing to collect: TOOLS.

It's unbelievable - he can get as excited about an orbital sander as most women would get about being given six pairs of Jimmy Choo shoes or a shopping spree in Paris. In fact, if you had to ask him to choose between a lump sum to spend on power tools or an all-expenses-paid cruise along the coast on a five-star ship, he'd probably go for the former.

Men are so weird. So it's off to Builder's Warehouse for me this afternoon. In my stilettos. I always end up with about five store salespeople following me around asking if they can help. It's that obvious that I don't have a clue.

I leave you with this (old but awesome) video clip. Now this is entertaining table tennis:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11O9IrG8zzg

New header and more hellish bureaucrats

What do you guys think? Designed by the oh-so-creative Exmi, it is awesome, is it not? Doing a little victory dance at my desk. Btw, it's Exmi's birthday today, so stop by and send some love.

Thanks for all the sympathy on my post yesterday. I actually wrote the attorney a snotty email:

Dear *name*,

As per your email (below), I have opened an electricity account with Eskom in my name for the property, and on Friday went to City of Joburg to do the same with the rates.

I did this specifically because your letter states that I must do so urgently. After sitting there for an hour and a half on a Friday afternoon, I was informed that the rates account is automatically transferred and that I had no reason to be there, so had wasted my time and petrol and still had to drive back home in the peak traffic, all for nothing.

Before I trek to Johannesburg Water today, kindly confirm that I do actually need to be there as I will be highly annoyed to repeat Friday’s performance.

Kind Regards,

Tamara

She replied:

Dear *Mrs Doodles*,

I do apologise for having wasted your time. I do not understand the Council, they instruct us to advise the clients to go and open up accounts and pay deposits and when we do they say it isn’t necessary. I am just following my attorneys instructions to advise the clients.

I have spoken to Petunia at JHB Water on Tel: (011) 870-1500 and she advised that you definitely need to go into JHB Water to open an account and pay a deposit.

Kind regards
*name*

So I went to Joburg Water yesterday. The stupid GPS was having an off day, and despite the fact that I was crawling in traffic, could not keep up with me. Gloria (the GPS, so named by a friend) kept telling me, "turn right" after I'd passed the street and then saying, "recalculating... recalculating..." Eventually, after an hour of listening to Gloria's nonsense, I just found the damn building on my own.

And, of course, it was the wrong building. I had to go to the other Joburg Water building, despite having checked where I should go on the website before setting off in the first place. When I got there, you can guess what happened, right?

me: Hi, I'm here to register a water account for this property.

bureaucrat: Hmmm... *types stuff into the system and ignores me for many minutes* Your complex oversees your water bills, so you don't need to open one or pay a deposit. I can open a sewage account for you, but that's about it.

me: Just shoot me now.

bureaucrat: Ummm... sorry? What?

me: Nothing. Yes, please open a sewage account for me.

And then I sat in traffic home again, which took another hour and a half because there was an accident on the N1 highway. Joy.

But... I cheered myself up by stopping at the shops to pick up gifts for my next two secret Santa things and buying some prawn cocktail from Woolies to enjoy while TSC (who is allergic to shellfish) is away. Yum, yum! Ate it with an avo on my veranda with my cats. Delish.

I must say, I battled to sleep without TSC next to me, but I did enjoy indulging in some seafood and having a few hours to get some unpacking done. That said, I can't wait for him to come home tomorrow.

Weekend catch-up

What a busy weekend it was! Most of it pleasant, though.


The one exception was Friday afternoon. I received a letter from the attorney handling my property transaction on Wed, telling me that I urgently needed to go to the city council to set up rates, electricity and water accounts in my name. So I book Friday afternoon off to do that and TSC and I head to the ugly governmental building in the centre of town (a 30 min drive from us) to go and do the rates and water accounts, seeing we've already done the electricity.


As we arrive, it starts bucketing down with rain. There's no undercover parking in sight, so we make a dash for the entrance and get soaked to the bone. At reception we are told that we are in the wrong building and must go to a building in the next street. Seeing the rain is coming down like cats and dogs, we climb back into the car, drive around the block and park outside the entrance to the correct building. We run inside, now completely wet.


At reception we are told that we are at the wrong entrance. It's the right building, but they won't let us walk through it to get to the department we need to be at, we must run around the outside of the building in the pouring rain and go through the other entrance.


So we do. And we get the correct form, fill it in and stand in line. There are two people at the counters for registration and deposits. There are three people in the queue in front of us. A full hour later, we finally sit down with the man who can help us.


"Why are you here?" he asks, having scanned through our form.
"To register the rates in our name," I say, thinking that he is a useless power-tripping bureaucrat.
"But that happens automatically," he says. "You don't need to be here. You need to be opening your water account."
Seething inwardly, I smile politely and say, "But the attorneys said I needed to be here. Uhh... so where do I open my water account?"
"I don't know why they told you that. You need to go to *address* to open the water account. But it's 15h30, so they'll be closed now."
"Oh, ok. Well... thanks for your help, I guess."


Stupid damn attorney. What a waste of time and petrol!


We then sat in Friday afternoon traffic for an hour and a half to get home. And I have to trek back into town again today to do the water account. And they can't tell me how much the deposit will be. And they don't take debit or credit cards. They only take bank guaranteed cheques or cash. Why must they make everything so difficult? I know, I know... Because they can.


Anyway... Friday night was spent making a last few pieces of jewellery to sell at the Christmas market on Saturday, and I ended up packaging and sorting my wares until 2am. Saturday morning I had to be up early to get to the house and set up my stuff. We didn't have that many people turning up, but I made good money and will now be able to spoil TSC for Christmas. Yay!

Then my folks dropped off some curtains they've donated to us (we're their top charity cause) and after a quick lunch with them, we rushed off to the Bloggirls Christmas event. What fun! It was awesome to meet everyone's partners and kids and to hook up with one or two blog ladies I hadn't met before. We were ridiculously late and it poured with rain, but much fun was had by all and we arrived home to two very hungry kitties at about 10pm.

Sunday after church we spontaneously had a bunch of people around for lunch, which was entertaining amidst all the boxes. I ran around like a headless chicken looking for things like the grater, a vase and my hairdryer to restart the fire when the rain and then hail arrived (this always seems to happen when TSC and I are at a braai). It was lovely to have people in our house for the first time and I can't wait to have a proper house-warming party early next year.


This morning at 2am, TSC left to go to Namibia to renew his blasted driver's licence, and I didn't manage to get back to sleep after that. I would so like to be doing this right now...










But work is beckoning, so I must do some writing. We close at the end of the week for Christmas holidays, so there's lots to be done before then. Have a great week!

Time is like that arcade dance game...

...You know that one where you have to step on the little lights when they light up? They start out slow and then they speed up until there's no way you could stamp on all of them even if you had an extra pair of feet.

It feels like time is like that. When you're a kid, the school holidays feel like they go on forever and ever and eventually you just want to go back so that you can stop being bored. And when you're at varsity, you think you're really busy with exams, lectures, assignments, sports and other activities. And then when you start working a full day, it feels like there's never time to do the things you used to do and like you are the busiest person on earth. And if you move in with someone, you have to take their time into account too. And then if you have kids, you have someone else that you are responsible for 24 hours of the day, seven days a week, and busyness becomes the understatement of the century.

I wonder if the game slows down again as you get older? Because it feels like everyone I talk to just gets busier and busier every year. Or is it just me?

Anyway... enough with the "deep" stuff. Here's a Friday funny for you. Looking forward to seeing those of you who are attending Bloggirls tomorrow. Have a great weekend, all.

Question:

Is it ok that I wrote a press release and some lazy journo copied and pasted it into a publication and put her name down as the author?

That, my friends, just hacks me right off. I know it's merely a press release, but it's not the first time this has happened. Surely it's still my intellectual property? And it's bad journalism!

I don't mind so much if someone posts my press release as it is without naming an author. Yes, it's still lazy, but if that person wants to slack off, and the company I've written about still gets some space, fine.

But, in my opinion, using something I wrote and saying you wrote it is so not ok! Any thoughts on how to handle this? Am I overreacting? Should I ask the lazy little slob to remove her name from my work? She'd probably pull the whole release and I'd get in trouble with Boss Chick for losing our client's space.

Sigh... In other (far more pleasant news), my uncle has recently returned from his trip to Nepal and taken some absolutely AMAZING photos. Check them out here.

K, off to write more press releases for people to plagiarise.

Aha! I just found my camera cable

Which means you all have to suffer through a photo update!

Here's Sapphire, in the crate I was trying to pack. Typical cat ;-)



Marble, also getting in on the action:


Some of our boxes, stacked in our old flat's dining area:


Me, trying to keep things light and fun, among the boxes in my fairy wings in the old apartment:


And, lastly, my beautiful new garden that I am totally and utterly in love with:

Pics of the house itself to follow, once the boxes have been unpacked. We're getting there. You can actually see the floor now.

Song lyrics gone wrong

You know that Alanis Morissette song You've Already Won Me Over? The lyrics go," You've already won me over in spite of me, so don't be alarmed if I fall head over heels..."

Well, my brother used to sing along at the top of his lungs with the lyrics, "You've already RUN me over in spite of me, I was alarmed and I fell head over heels..." he was convinced that those where the right words.

And TSC has a habit of making up his own lyrics as he sings along, seeing he can never remember the real ones. And then there was the time my mother made me turn off the radio when Counting Crow's where singing Big Yellow Taxi. They sang, "They paved paradise and put up a parking lot," and my mother thought they were saying," they paved paradise and put up a f***ing lot." What she thought that was, I have no idea.

She also took great offence at the song "Pumping on your Stereo" by Supergrass, which she thought was "humping on your stereo".

But none of those quite match up to the collection of misheard lyrics at www.kissthisguy.com, which include:

• "Let's pee in the corner. Let's pee on the spotlight," instead of "That's me in the corner, That's me in the spotlight" from R.E.M.'s Losing My Religion
• "My anus is the centre hole," instead of, "My angel is a centerfold" from Centrefold by the J Geils Band
• "The algebra has a devil for a sidekick eeeeeee," instead of, "Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me" from Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody
• "Might as well face it; you're a d*ck with a glove," instead of "Might as well face it; you're addicted to love," from Addicted to Love by Robert Palmer. The person says she thought it was a funny song about Michael Jackson
• "We built this city on the wrong damn road," instead of , "We built this city on rock and roll," from We Built this City by Starship

Got any misheard lyrics you'd like to share?

I feel like I'm 80 today

I'm so stiff from packing, carrying, scrubbing and sweeping that I can't move my right arm above shoulder level. My knee joints ache and by feet are in spasm. If this is what life's going to be like when I get really old, I'm glad I've got a few more decades to get used to the fact. But...

WE ARE IN THE NEW HOUSE!

How flipping awesome! Photos to follow when I find my camera and its cable. Neither are in the fruit bowl, so now I really dunno ;-)