So yesterday was my dad's bday. And one of my bestest friend's too.
We went out for supper to Blueberry Grill in Kyalami. Since hearing the name I've had that song Blueberry Hill (is it by Chuck Berry?!) in my head. My folks arrived late, after being given faulty directions by someone who works there, so they were a little peeved to start with. Then we sat down at our table in the non-smoking section. The room was empty and freezing cold. They had those patio gas heaters, but none of the were on, so we asked them to turn them on. No gas, apprently.
They said they'd move us to a warmer area, which turned out to be the passageway between the non-smoking and smoking scetions, directly outside of the toilets. My dad promptly threw his toys out the cot and called the manager (and he says I get my attitude from my mother?!).
Suddenly, they managed to produce a full gas bottle out of nowhere, so we moved back to our original table. Once we were warmer, things were far more pleasant. The food was actually really good. I had sushi (yum!) and hubby had oxtail (double yum). And we got dessert on the house (although my creme brulee was not particularly fabulous. They do mych better creme brulee at The Brasserie* in Irene Village Mall. But then again, all of the Willoworld restaurants are cool).
And our waitor, Eugene, really did try hard. He joked with us and made sure everyone was happy. So, despite bad beginnings, it ended up being a good evening.
Here, then, is a funny for today:
Thursday, 26 June 2008
Wednesday, 25 June 2008
Six Question Meme
Seeing I am rushing off to an interview, I don't have time to write a nice, creative post, so here's a meme I stole from Gill:
Six Question meme
The rules of the game get posted at the beginning. Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.
What was I doing 10 years ago?
Grade 8.
What are 6 things on my to-do list for today?
1. Post on blog.
2. Read favourite blogs.
3. Buy the rest of Dad's birthday present. It's his Bday today and we're all going out for supper. Yay!
4. Resist murdering government client.
5. Get approval on various stories
6. Wrap dad's Bday present.
Snacks I enjoy?
Oreos, pepper salticrax and doritos.
Things I would do if I were a billionaire?
Buy hubby a bakkie (a utility vehicle or truck for non-saffers); send my parents on an exotic holiday; start my own company, invest in the stockmarket; buy a house; give lots of money away to various people in need; support my favourite charities; self-publish a book; and start a skills development training college where the disadvantaged can learn language and writing skills.
Places I have lived?
Joburg
Ladismith
Boksburg
Durban
Cape Town
Pretoria
(not in that order)
How did you name your blog?
Self-explanatory! A journalist that jots down her random doodles and thoughts.
I'm not tagging anyone, but feel free to go ahead and do this. Let me know if you do.
Six Question meme
The rules of the game get posted at the beginning. Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.
What was I doing 10 years ago?
Grade 8.
What are 6 things on my to-do list for today?
1. Post on blog.
2. Read favourite blogs.
3. Buy the rest of Dad's birthday present. It's his Bday today and we're all going out for supper. Yay!
4. Resist murdering government client.
5. Get approval on various stories
6. Wrap dad's Bday present.
Snacks I enjoy?
Oreos, pepper salticrax and doritos.
Things I would do if I were a billionaire?
Buy hubby a bakkie (a utility vehicle or truck for non-saffers); send my parents on an exotic holiday; start my own company, invest in the stockmarket; buy a house; give lots of money away to various people in need; support my favourite charities; self-publish a book; and start a skills development training college where the disadvantaged can learn language and writing skills.
Places I have lived?
Joburg
Ladismith
Boksburg
Durban
Cape Town
Pretoria
(not in that order)
How did you name your blog?
Self-explanatory! A journalist that jots down her random doodles and thoughts.
I'm not tagging anyone, but feel free to go ahead and do this. Let me know if you do.
Tuesday, 24 June 2008
Funny for you
Parks Board warden finds an Indian man at the Blue Lagoon with ten shadfish in a bucket."That's way over the limit," he says. "You're under arrest."
"But lahnee, please," the man says, "these are my pet fish from home. Ijust bring them down here to let them swim free once a week. When I whistle, they all come back and get into the bucket to go home."
"I don't believe it." says the warden.
"OK... I will show you." The man promptly dumps the shad into the sea and gazes after them as They swim away.
After a minute, the warden says, "OK, so how long?"
"How long what?" says the man.
"How long till you call the fish back?"
"What fish?"
"But lahnee, please," the man says, "these are my pet fish from home. Ijust bring them down here to let them swim free once a week. When I whistle, they all come back and get into the bucket to go home."
"I don't believe it." says the warden.
"OK... I will show you." The man promptly dumps the shad into the sea and gazes after them as They swim away.
After a minute, the warden says, "OK, so how long?"
"How long what?" says the man.
"How long till you call the fish back?"
"What fish?"
Monday, 23 June 2008
Post-wedding stress disorder
The wedding was every bit as traumatic as I'd anticipated. And then some.
To give you an idea, some of the guests included:
To give you an idea, some of the guests included:
- A lady who carried her blind dog around with her everywhere. The poor animal stood bewildered and miserable next to her chair for most of the event, too scared to move an inch, probably because it kept getting stepped on.
- The drunken and disorderly MC, Frank, who fed himself Schnapps with a spoon straight out of the bottle, tied one of the chair sashes around his head, smacked people on the back of their heads as he walked behind them (trying to get their faces into their food) and generally did anything else he could think of to draw attention to himself, including insulting the bridal couple* and swearing as many times as possible in one sentence.
- The world's most useles DJ and his two live singers. The one singer wasn't so bad, apart from his need to fit in as many 1980s country treffers (hits, for those of you non-Afrikaans speakers) as possible. The other one was... painful. First she butchered Purple Rain to a dgeree that it was barely recognisable, and then she proceeded to murder Neil Diamond too.
The wedding started at 4pm, and we left at about nine, but it felt like it was after midnight. Hubby and I were the only ones to give an actual gift, seeing my uncle had phoned around and told everyone to give money instead. Here's a pic of the tea tray we made for the couple. I was quite chuffed with it, and a little sad to see it go.
By far the cutest guests at the wedding were two little kittens. They need to be fed every hour, so they couldn't be left at home, but I still reckon that the smokey, noisy sports bar hall was the best place for them to be. Here's me with the bigger of the two. Check out my bright red nose and know how freezing cold it was!
At least it's over. My cousin is happy, and I'm happy for her. The groom seemed nice enough, although he was a little liquored up for some Dutch courage, so it was hard to tell. He's one of those people who talks really fast too, so I didn't get half of what he said.
The rest of the weekend was good. My gran's birthday dinner on Friday at Rhapsody's in Centurion was stunning, and the Grand Prix yesterday was interesting, if a little disappointing for my team, McLaren.
So now, in my last full week of working here, I'm just trying to tie up loose ends and figure out the bit that comes next.
*My cousin is rather large, to put it politely. She always has been. The groom happens to be exceptionally skinny. The contrast is obvious to all, but there was no reason for Frank to make them stand up and draw attention to 'Timone and Pumba' as he called them. Awful man.
Friday, 20 June 2008
Friday. YAY!
It may have been short week, but it felt like it took forever. So glad it's weekend. Except that tomorrow is the dreaded wedding. Ugh.
But, there's Formula One on Sunday, and we're all going out for supper for my gran's birthday this evening, and the afore-mentioned wedding is sure to provide good blog fodder for next week, so it's all good.
Thought for the day:
Thursday, 19 June 2008
Don't drink and write signs...
I'm not sure how I like this hubby studying thing. I oscillate between moments of extreme jealousy and extreme enjoyment.
Let me explain... He finished up at work last week, but his studies only start next week, so he's taking this wek to chill. Which he deserves.
BUT... It still drives me mad that he can laze in bed in the mornings, and is still fast asleep when I leave for work, and that he's usually enjoying a DVD on the couch when I get home. Grrr. Especially seeing it doesn't occur to him to do the things I would do if I got home early - like sort out the pile of papers lying on the kitchen counter, or tidy the distater zone that is our room etc.
On the other hand... (sorry, I am abusing the ellipsis today) it is handy that I can give him all my rubbish chores to do, and he has no excuses to wriggle out of them. Today he is returning my faulty GPS to the store, having my car washed, and taking the cat to the vet. Nice.
In fact, I think I can deal with my jealousy issues if it means that I don't have to do all that stuff. It may be a different story when exams roll around though. At least all this change keeps things interesting ;-)
Wednesday, 18 June 2008
Best and Worst Feelings
Eish! I just got back from a really long interview and barely made it to the loo. That about-to-burst feeling is one of the worst in the world, which got me to thinking about my best and worst feelings.
My worst:
1. Needing to sneeze and not being able to!
2. Regret, especially about words spoken that I can't take back.
3. Guilt. This is a biggy - I feel guilt around so many things, from overeating to the boyfriend I dumped really harshly a few years ago. I guess growing up Catholic it was a big part of the culture that I'm still learning to let go of.
4. That helpless feeling of waiting for the inevitable to happen. I clearly remember the feeling I felt the split second before our bakkie flipped when we were hit by an ambulance in a massive accident in the centre of Cape Town a few years back. I could see it coming, but I couldn't stop it from happening.
5. Loss of something / someone special. Not like losing a piece of jewellery, although that does suck, but losing a pet or a friendship.
My best:
1. Times with my hubby, family or friends when everything just feels right and there's no tension at all.
2. Getting into a warm bed in winter with my purring cats.
3. Being somewhere completely beautiful in God's creation. It feeds my soul.
4. Standing in the wings, waiting to come on stage in front of an audience. I haven't felt this in a while, seeing I'm no longer part of a drama studio (I was all through school - 8years, in fact). I miss it.
5. Discovering something new.
Now, I will ruin this all and turn this into a meme. MwahaHAHAHA! *Evilest of laughs*. I hereby tag Angel, Gill, Sweets, Blonde Blogshell and Sleepyjane, as well as anyone else who'd like to give it a shot. Hit me with your five best and five worst feelings in the world.
My worst:
1. Needing to sneeze and not being able to!
2. Regret, especially about words spoken that I can't take back.
3. Guilt. This is a biggy - I feel guilt around so many things, from overeating to the boyfriend I dumped really harshly a few years ago. I guess growing up Catholic it was a big part of the culture that I'm still learning to let go of.
4. That helpless feeling of waiting for the inevitable to happen. I clearly remember the feeling I felt the split second before our bakkie flipped when we were hit by an ambulance in a massive accident in the centre of Cape Town a few years back. I could see it coming, but I couldn't stop it from happening.
5. Loss of something / someone special. Not like losing a piece of jewellery, although that does suck, but losing a pet or a friendship.
My best:
1. Times with my hubby, family or friends when everything just feels right and there's no tension at all.
2. Getting into a warm bed in winter with my purring cats.
3. Being somewhere completely beautiful in God's creation. It feeds my soul.
4. Standing in the wings, waiting to come on stage in front of an audience. I haven't felt this in a while, seeing I'm no longer part of a drama studio (I was all through school - 8years, in fact). I miss it.
5. Discovering something new.
Now, I will ruin this all and turn this into a meme. MwahaHAHAHA! *Evilest of laughs*. I hereby tag Angel, Gill, Sweets, Blonde Blogshell and Sleepyjane, as well as anyone else who'd like to give it a shot. Hit me with your five best and five worst feelings in the world.
Tuesday, 17 June 2008
Da weekend dat woz
Sigh... the long weekend is over. But what a weekend it was. I so enjoyed going away (even though the place turned out to be only about 20 minutes away from where we live!) and spending time outside. When I'm at home, I always feel like I should be doing something - clearing out my guest room so there's actually space to get through the door, sorting photos, cooking supper, doing the washing etc.
It was great to be at the guest farm, because I COULDN'T do any of those things, so I could actually allow myself not to think about them and to think about what I wanted to do and then do it.
This was the quaint little cottage where we stayed, just outside of Muldersdrif. It wasn't luxurious, but it was quiet and clean and, most importantly, it had a heater!
But I'm getting ahead of myself. I really suck at keeping to chronological order. The weekend began on Friday, so I shall start there.
After finishing work early (which I always do on Fridays because we don't take lunch breaks or tea breaks during the week at all), we packed our bags. The cats need almost as much stuff as we do - their kitty hut, litterbox, extra litter, dry food, wet food, food bowls, water bowl etc. Then we headed off to my folks in Pretoria.
We had supper at Cafe 41 in Groenkloof. Not my favourite place, especially seeing they've changed the recipe of their chickpea and sweet potato curry. Ugh.
Saturday morning we rushed to Menlyn Shopping Centre as it opened to get the last part of my dad's Father's Day present, seeing our local branch of the store had run out. We met up with him, my mom, and (surprisingly) my brother, who doesn't normally get out of bed before noon on weekends. After that, we did our shop for everything we'd need for the weekend (food, mainly. And Lindt chocolate, of course) and off we went, leaving the kitties with their grandparents for the weekend. They always come back from my parents spoilt and stuffed ;-)
We checked in at the guest farm and took a drive around the area before heading back to watch the rugby. We followed all these signs promising fresh vegetables and a farm stall, but when we got to the end of the road, we found ouselves at a place called the Dog Park. There were about 50 dogs (seriously), a little honesty bar (where you can help yourself to a drink and leave the money) and nothing else. No veggies in sight. Bizarre. There was a big old Alsation with bloodshot eyes standing on the steps to the bar, like Clint Eastwood in some awful ancient Western flick. He looked at us sternly down his long doggy nose as if to say, 'This here be my bar. Touch my liquor and there'll be trouble.' We left.
Hubby watched the Boks playing Wales and I curled up on a couch outside, in the sunshine, with a book. So nice to have time to read! After that, we braaied a spatchcock chicken and chilled outside with a glass of really good wine. A candlelit bath was next, but being spoilt rotten and used to a nice big bath, not a little one like the cottage had, that didn't last too long ;-)
It was such a lovely chilled night. I managed to finish the book I'd started in bed, much later, and actually managed to sleep well in a new bed, which is a first for me.
Sunday we had a long lie-in and a good heart-to-heart, before setting out adventuring. We stopped at a little nursery, which turned out to be having a half-price sale, so I filled the boot of our car with beautiful green things, for only R200.
The plants then got to enjoy the rest of the day driving through the Rhino and Lion Park with us. Thanks to Angel and Ruby for the idea. What a great day! We arrived just before feeding time, so we got to watch the lions, wild dogs and cheetahs enjoying their lunch.
This is one of the feline chaps, announcing his hunger to the watching crowd.
Then we drove through the park and saw countless animals, including sable (I'd never seen them before), waterbuck, rhinos, and many more. It was quite funny, because they all looked red from the red mud.
Then we went to the animal creche, where we oohed and ahhed at the baby tigers, hippo, jaguars, leopard and these cuties, whom we got to play with...
They were tuckered out from all the attention, so they'd decided to take a snooze. We had fun tickling them under their paws and watching them swat at us in their sleep. They're white lions, so they have big blue eyes (caused by a recessive gene).
This fellow below is a teenage cheetah. Tired of being called cute and of all the attention from the people petting him, he climbed on the roof of his shelter to glare at us all and sulk.
After that, we headed to the Wondercave, South Africa's third largest cave chamber. I love caves. A bit of speleophile am I. Showing off the little bit of Latin I remember.
Anyhoo... Hubby had never seen a proper cave, so it was great fun, aside from some of the annoying people in our group who made the guide spend the entire time chasing after them. They dropped sweet papers in the caves, which I dutifully picked up. Neanderthals.
Sunday evening was spent making a yummy potjie (nobody makes potjie like my hubby), with another glass of really good wine, and lots of cuddling to keep away the chills.
Monday morning, we had to up early as check-out time was 9am. We did breakfast at Zest, a dinky little restaurant at the Ngwenya Glass Village, and browsed the shops. At around lunch time, we headed back to my folks. My gran is visiting, so we chilled with them before taking our kitties home and enjoying leftover potjie and a DVD.
It was such a lovely weekend, and I'm sorry if you found my post long and boring, but I've had fun recalling my little getaway in between my chasing of clients. Grrr...
The only bad thing about a long weekend is that one extra day out of the office seems to make me forget how to type, do admin and put my head down ;-)
I'm off to give it another try, and to read your blogs, of course.
It was great to be at the guest farm, because I COULDN'T do any of those things, so I could actually allow myself not to think about them and to think about what I wanted to do and then do it.
This was the quaint little cottage where we stayed, just outside of Muldersdrif. It wasn't luxurious, but it was quiet and clean and, most importantly, it had a heater!
But I'm getting ahead of myself. I really suck at keeping to chronological order. The weekend began on Friday, so I shall start there.
After finishing work early (which I always do on Fridays because we don't take lunch breaks or tea breaks during the week at all), we packed our bags. The cats need almost as much stuff as we do - their kitty hut, litterbox, extra litter, dry food, wet food, food bowls, water bowl etc. Then we headed off to my folks in Pretoria.
We had supper at Cafe 41 in Groenkloof. Not my favourite place, especially seeing they've changed the recipe of their chickpea and sweet potato curry. Ugh.
Saturday morning we rushed to Menlyn Shopping Centre as it opened to get the last part of my dad's Father's Day present, seeing our local branch of the store had run out. We met up with him, my mom, and (surprisingly) my brother, who doesn't normally get out of bed before noon on weekends. After that, we did our shop for everything we'd need for the weekend (food, mainly. And Lindt chocolate, of course) and off we went, leaving the kitties with their grandparents for the weekend. They always come back from my parents spoilt and stuffed ;-)
We checked in at the guest farm and took a drive around the area before heading back to watch the rugby. We followed all these signs promising fresh vegetables and a farm stall, but when we got to the end of the road, we found ouselves at a place called the Dog Park. There were about 50 dogs (seriously), a little honesty bar (where you can help yourself to a drink and leave the money) and nothing else. No veggies in sight. Bizarre. There was a big old Alsation with bloodshot eyes standing on the steps to the bar, like Clint Eastwood in some awful ancient Western flick. He looked at us sternly down his long doggy nose as if to say, 'This here be my bar. Touch my liquor and there'll be trouble.' We left.
Hubby watched the Boks playing Wales and I curled up on a couch outside, in the sunshine, with a book. So nice to have time to read! After that, we braaied a spatchcock chicken and chilled outside with a glass of really good wine. A candlelit bath was next, but being spoilt rotten and used to a nice big bath, not a little one like the cottage had, that didn't last too long ;-)
It was such a lovely chilled night. I managed to finish the book I'd started in bed, much later, and actually managed to sleep well in a new bed, which is a first for me.
Sunday we had a long lie-in and a good heart-to-heart, before setting out adventuring. We stopped at a little nursery, which turned out to be having a half-price sale, so I filled the boot of our car with beautiful green things, for only R200.
The plants then got to enjoy the rest of the day driving through the Rhino and Lion Park with us. Thanks to Angel and Ruby for the idea. What a great day! We arrived just before feeding time, so we got to watch the lions, wild dogs and cheetahs enjoying their lunch.
This is one of the feline chaps, announcing his hunger to the watching crowd.
Then we drove through the park and saw countless animals, including sable (I'd never seen them before), waterbuck, rhinos, and many more. It was quite funny, because they all looked red from the red mud.
Then we went to the animal creche, where we oohed and ahhed at the baby tigers, hippo, jaguars, leopard and these cuties, whom we got to play with...
They were tuckered out from all the attention, so they'd decided to take a snooze. We had fun tickling them under their paws and watching them swat at us in their sleep. They're white lions, so they have big blue eyes (caused by a recessive gene).
This fellow below is a teenage cheetah. Tired of being called cute and of all the attention from the people petting him, he climbed on the roof of his shelter to glare at us all and sulk.
After that, we headed to the Wondercave, South Africa's third largest cave chamber. I love caves. A bit of speleophile am I. Showing off the little bit of Latin I remember.
Anyhoo... Hubby had never seen a proper cave, so it was great fun, aside from some of the annoying people in our group who made the guide spend the entire time chasing after them. They dropped sweet papers in the caves, which I dutifully picked up. Neanderthals.
Sunday evening was spent making a yummy potjie (nobody makes potjie like my hubby), with another glass of really good wine, and lots of cuddling to keep away the chills.
Monday morning, we had to up early as check-out time was 9am. We did breakfast at Zest, a dinky little restaurant at the Ngwenya Glass Village, and browsed the shops. At around lunch time, we headed back to my folks. My gran is visiting, so we chilled with them before taking our kitties home and enjoying leftover potjie and a DVD.
It was such a lovely weekend, and I'm sorry if you found my post long and boring, but I've had fun recalling my little getaway in between my chasing of clients. Grrr...
The only bad thing about a long weekend is that one extra day out of the office seems to make me forget how to type, do admin and put my head down ;-)
I'm off to give it another try, and to read your blogs, of course.
Friday, 13 June 2008
Yay - long weekend!
Right, first things first... I read Caz's lastest post yesterday on her blog, Spacebook, and I reckon it's my favourite post of the week. She just wrote something that struck a chord with me. nOthing earth shattering, and you may not get what I'm on about, but I thought it was brilliant. Read it here.
And then... IT'S THE BEGINNING OF A LONG WEEKEND. WOOHOO!
Can you tell that I'm excited? I've been drawing up lists in my head of all the things I want to do. The number one is: nothing. This is followed by: sleep, read and sleep.
Hehehe... no, I also want to explore the sights, eat out at new restaurants, take loads of pics, spend quality time with hubby, and enjoy a little spontaneity.
Till next week, when I will bombard you with pics. Have a good one, Saffers. And for those of you from other parts of the world, have a great non-long weekend.
And then... IT'S THE BEGINNING OF A LONG WEEKEND. WOOHOO!
Can you tell that I'm excited? I've been drawing up lists in my head of all the things I want to do. The number one is: nothing. This is followed by: sleep, read and sleep.
Hehehe... no, I also want to explore the sights, eat out at new restaurants, take loads of pics, spend quality time with hubby, and enjoy a little spontaneity.
Till next week, when I will bombard you with pics. Have a good one, Saffers. And for those of you from other parts of the world, have a great non-long weekend.
Thursday, 12 June 2008
Wednesday, 11 June 2008
Today is one of those 'ugh' days of work, where everything on my 'to do' list makes me want to crawl into bed and hide. Writing local government profiles, chasing marketing people that have made the typical list of empty promises, following up approvals and begging various people for the time of day are just a few things that I have the (dis)pleasure of attending to today.
So, instead I am blogging, lurking at various other blogs, and daydreaming about my weekend away. But this must not continue. I have to be able to tick something off my list. I think maybe I should write down 'update blog' and then at least I can cross that off. Or 'consume daily requirement of caffeine'.
No, I am going to be good and go and do my admin now. Then I will reward myself with a peek into all my regular reads. *sigh* Being good sucks almost as much as Telkom. Almost.
Here's a funny for you:
Sometimes when you're angry, it helps to sit down and think about the problem.
So, instead I am blogging, lurking at various other blogs, and daydreaming about my weekend away. But this must not continue. I have to be able to tick something off my list. I think maybe I should write down 'update blog' and then at least I can cross that off. Or 'consume daily requirement of caffeine'.
No, I am going to be good and go and do my admin now. Then I will reward myself with a peek into all my regular reads. *sigh* Being good sucks almost as much as Telkom. Almost.
Here's a funny for you:
Sometimes when you're angry, it helps to sit down and think about the problem.
Tuesday, 10 June 2008
Internetlessness sucks eggs
As much as I slag Eskom off, Telkom deserves a beating too.
Sorry for the absence of a post yesterday, but dear Telkom stuffed up and cut off our ADSL because they decided we hadn't paid. Numerous phonecalls later, and much quoting of reference numbers by our harried accountant, we are online again. But I'm still not happy about the fact that our business (and my blogging!) grind to a halt until they shuffle their papers around and realise that proof of payment is staring them in the face. Makes me wanna pull a crazy recluse ketteh stint and lock myself away. Not sure about the house full of ladies though.
Growl*.
Anyway, I must go catch up on everyone else's blogs, but first, my exciting news for the day: We've booked into a guest farm for two nights of the long weekend and I CANNOT WAIT! I just need to escape the city and my routine for a bit to get some fresh perspective and have a bit of a rest. So looking forward to it.
Have a fab Tuesday, people!
*Does anyone else remember how Ling (Lucy Liu) used to growl in Ally McBeal? So wish I could do that ;-)
Friday, 6 June 2008
TGIF
Thank goodness the weekend is here! I don't think I could've survived another day. Bring on the long weekend for next weekend. I can hardly wait.
In my tired, angry, frustrated and generally unhappy mood, here is somehting that should make us all smile:
In my tired, angry, frustrated and generally unhappy mood, here is somehting that should make us all smile:
Thursday, 5 June 2008
Things I wish had been invented
Really! There are some people in the world that I wish would not come into my little world. A particular person that I have to interview today, for example. But rather than vent here about all the little things that are ticking me off (which will go on forever and bore everyone including myself), I have come up with a list of things I wish had been invented:
1. Mute buttons for people who spout crap incessantly
2. Long-lasting anti-idiot spray that can either temporarily turn people into non-idiots, or just clear the room of all twits
3. Internal watch-synchronisers installed at birth, so that when you say you're meeting someone at 12, they don't turn up at 12.27
4. Instant-friendliness chocolates, to feed to certain rude PAs and their even ruder CEO bosses
5. Bitch-alert radar
6. Invisible capes
7. Teleportation devices
8. Anti-taxi forcefields for cars
9. Compulsory training in manners for all business people
10. And, of course, free therapy for all members of the media!
So tell me, what do YOU wish had been invented?
1. Mute buttons for people who spout crap incessantly
2. Long-lasting anti-idiot spray that can either temporarily turn people into non-idiots, or just clear the room of all twits
3. Internal watch-synchronisers installed at birth, so that when you say you're meeting someone at 12, they don't turn up at 12.27
4. Instant-friendliness chocolates, to feed to certain rude PAs and their even ruder CEO bosses
5. Bitch-alert radar
6. Invisible capes
7. Teleportation devices
8. Anti-taxi forcefields for cars
9. Compulsory training in manners for all business people
10. And, of course, free therapy for all members of the media!
So tell me, what do YOU wish had been invented?
Wednesday, 4 June 2008
Joke's on the fence (another inbox funny)
This is too funny!
The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As he leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing; I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them," Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence!"
The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As he leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing; I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them," Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence!"
Tuesday, 3 June 2008
Too miserable with flu to be creative...
So here are some funny pics:
you'll only get this if you dig the movie, 'Office Space' (from which my office-equipment-bashing fantasies arose):
you'll only think this is funny if you like or make LOLcats.
Have a happy Tuesday.
Monday, 2 June 2008
Meme
As I'm out of inspiration this morning (except in relation to interesting ways of making clients feel pain), I'm borrowing this meme from Gill's blog. I'm not going to tag anyone, but feel free to do it if you're keen (or bored), and be sure to let me know.
1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
LOTS of fliers that I get from the dudes at the traffic lights. I can't say no. There's also an umbrella, I think.
2. When was the last time you threw up?
Hmmm... I got really bad gastro a few years back and projectile vomited all over the show, but I don't think I've chundered since. Thank goodness.
3. What’s your favorite curse word?
I don't really have one. I have a thing for words and tend to get stuck on them quite randomly. I like to say 'fishpaste' a lot. It's a great multi-purpose word and can sound very vicious when needed. Fissssshpassste!
4. Name three people who made you smile today.
My husband and my cats (yes, they count as people).
5. What were you doing at 8am this morning?
Checking emails, blowing my nose repeatedly and harassing clients about setting up interviews.
6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Checking emails, blowing my nose repeatedly and harassing clients about setting up interviews (yes, admin takes forever).
7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now?
Hopefully writing, if I get done with the above.
8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Nope.
9. What’s the last thing you said aloud?
"Lager! Get off my desk!" Lager is the office cat. "Fisssshpassste!"
10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Ginger.
11. What is the last thing you had to drink?
Coffee.
12. What are you wearing right now?
Clothes. Lots and lots of them.
13. What was the last thing you ate?
Bokomo breakfast bar.
14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
It's only Monday. Last week I got some stuff on an Edgars sale, very very cheap. Noice.
15. When was the last time you ran?
16. What’s the last sporting event you watched?
Formula One. Lewis won. Yeah!
17. Who’s the last person you e-mailed?
A work friend to postpone our coffee meeting from this Sat to the end of the month. Had no idea my schedule was this busy. Hehehe...
18. Ever go camping?
Yes, but not often enough.
19. Do you have a tan?
Tan, what's a tan?
20. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
When I'm feeling daring. Who came up with these questions?
21. Are you someone’s best friend?
Yes. I think.
22. What are you doing tomorrow?
Working, going to cell group and stressing about the new job, I guess.
23. Where is your mom right now?
Out saving the world, as usual.
24. Look to your left. What do you see?
Lager, the disobedient office cat.
25. What colour is your watch?
Silver and black.
26. What comes to mind when you think of Australia?
Hugh Jackman, koala bears and that big, red rock.
27. Would you consider plastic surgery?
Only if I had an accident or something. Otherwise, I guess my body's flaws are mine to live with. Plus, i can't afford it ;-)
28. What is your birthstone?
Peridot.
29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru?
Hardly ever do fast food, but when we do, it depends which looks quickest.
30. How many kids do you want?
Two. Eventually. But not yet.
31. Do you have a dog?
Nope. Two cats.
32. Last person you talked to on the phone.
Hubby.
33. Have you met anyone famous?
Yes, but I'll refrain from name-dropping.
34. Any plans today?
Contemplate murder of certain clients.
35. Ever go to college?
Yes. UCT.
36. Where are you right now?
At work.
37. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Clients.
38. Last song listened to?
Something on Classic FM.
39. Are you allergic to anything?
Not that I know of.
40. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
My Walmart boots from the States. They have metal things at the back that clink when I walk, so I sound like a cowboy.
41. Are you jealous of anyone?
Yes, anyone that doesn't have to work with some of the clients I do at the moment.
42. Who is your favorite actor/actress?
Anthony Hopkins, Meryl Streep, Shia Laboeuf, Guy Pearce, Judi Dench...
43. What time is it?
12.49
44. Do any of your friends have children?
Some.
45. Do you eat healthy?
This question makes it sound like healthy is a specific food. Yes, I try to eat healthily. Try being the operative word.
46. What do you usually do during the day?
Work, blog, chat to colleagues.
47. How old will you be on your next birthday?
24
48. Have you ever been to Europe?
Yes.
49. Name one thing you’d still like to do.
Take apart the office fax machine with a golf club. And have my name in certain publications. And take hubby to Europe. And help someone else to start a business. And... Oh wait, that's more than one, hey?
50.Favorite colour?
Purple. And yes, I know what you're going to say about that. It's also the colour of royalty.
1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
LOTS of fliers that I get from the dudes at the traffic lights. I can't say no. There's also an umbrella, I think.
2. When was the last time you threw up?
Hmmm... I got really bad gastro a few years back and projectile vomited all over the show, but I don't think I've chundered since. Thank goodness.
3. What’s your favorite curse word?
I don't really have one. I have a thing for words and tend to get stuck on them quite randomly. I like to say 'fishpaste' a lot. It's a great multi-purpose word and can sound very vicious when needed. Fissssshpassste!
4. Name three people who made you smile today.
My husband and my cats (yes, they count as people).
5. What were you doing at 8am this morning?
Checking emails, blowing my nose repeatedly and harassing clients about setting up interviews.
6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Checking emails, blowing my nose repeatedly and harassing clients about setting up interviews (yes, admin takes forever).
7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now?
Hopefully writing, if I get done with the above.
8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Nope.
9. What’s the last thing you said aloud?
"Lager! Get off my desk!" Lager is the office cat. "Fisssshpassste!"
10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Ginger.
11. What is the last thing you had to drink?
Coffee.
12. What are you wearing right now?
Clothes. Lots and lots of them.
13. What was the last thing you ate?
Bokomo breakfast bar.
14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
It's only Monday. Last week I got some stuff on an Edgars sale, very very cheap. Noice.
15. When was the last time you ran?
16. What’s the last sporting event you watched?
Formula One. Lewis won. Yeah!
17. Who’s the last person you e-mailed?
A work friend to postpone our coffee meeting from this Sat to the end of the month. Had no idea my schedule was this busy. Hehehe...
18. Ever go camping?
Yes, but not often enough.
19. Do you have a tan?
Tan, what's a tan?
20. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
When I'm feeling daring. Who came up with these questions?
21. Are you someone’s best friend?
Yes. I think.
22. What are you doing tomorrow?
Working, going to cell group and stressing about the new job, I guess.
23. Where is your mom right now?
Out saving the world, as usual.
24. Look to your left. What do you see?
Lager, the disobedient office cat.
25. What colour is your watch?
Silver and black.
26. What comes to mind when you think of Australia?
Hugh Jackman, koala bears and that big, red rock.
27. Would you consider plastic surgery?
Only if I had an accident or something. Otherwise, I guess my body's flaws are mine to live with. Plus, i can't afford it ;-)
28. What is your birthstone?
Peridot.
29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru?
Hardly ever do fast food, but when we do, it depends which looks quickest.
30. How many kids do you want?
Two. Eventually. But not yet.
31. Do you have a dog?
Nope. Two cats.
32. Last person you talked to on the phone.
Hubby.
33. Have you met anyone famous?
Yes, but I'll refrain from name-dropping.
34. Any plans today?
Contemplate murder of certain clients.
35. Ever go to college?
Yes. UCT.
36. Where are you right now?
At work.
37. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Clients.
38. Last song listened to?
Something on Classic FM.
39. Are you allergic to anything?
Not that I know of.
40. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
My Walmart boots from the States. They have metal things at the back that clink when I walk, so I sound like a cowboy.
41. Are you jealous of anyone?
Yes, anyone that doesn't have to work with some of the clients I do at the moment.
42. Who is your favorite actor/actress?
Anthony Hopkins, Meryl Streep, Shia Laboeuf, Guy Pearce, Judi Dench...
43. What time is it?
12.49
44. Do any of your friends have children?
Some.
45. Do you eat healthy?
This question makes it sound like healthy is a specific food. Yes, I try to eat healthily. Try being the operative word.
46. What do you usually do during the day?
Work, blog, chat to colleagues.
47. How old will you be on your next birthday?
24
48. Have you ever been to Europe?
Yes.
49. Name one thing you’d still like to do.
Take apart the office fax machine with a golf club. And have my name in certain publications. And take hubby to Europe. And help someone else to start a business. And... Oh wait, that's more than one, hey?
50.Favorite colour?
Purple. And yes, I know what you're going to say about that. It's also the colour of royalty.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)