Post-wedding stress disorder

The wedding was every bit as traumatic as I'd anticipated. And then some.

To give you an idea, some of the guests included:

• A lady who carried her blind dog around with her everywhere. The poor animal stood bewildered and miserable next to her chair for most of the event, too scared to move an inch, probably because it kept getting stepped on.
• The drunken and disorderly MC, Frank, who fed himself Schnapps with a spoon straight out of the bottle, tied one of the chair sashes around his head, smacked people on the back of their heads as he walked behind them (trying to get their faces into their food) and generally did anything else he could think of to draw attention to himself, including insulting the bridal couple* and swearing as many times as possible in one sentence.
• The world's most useles DJ and his two live singers. The one singer wasn't so bad, apart from his need to fit in as many 1980s country treffers (hits, for those of you non-Afrikaans speakers) as possible. The other one was... painful. First she butchered Purple Rain to a dgeree that it was barely recognisable, and then she proceeded to murder Neil Diamond too.

The wedding started at 4pm, and we left at about nine, but it felt like it was after midnight. Hubby and I were the only ones to give an actual gift, seeing my uncle had phoned around and told everyone to give money instead. Here's a pic of the tea tray we made for the couple. I was quite chuffed with it, and a little sad to see it go.

By far the cutest guests at the wedding were two little kittens. They need to be fed every hour, so they couldn't be left at home, but I still reckon that the smokey, noisy sports bar hall was the best place for them to be. Here's me with the bigger of the two. Check out my bright red nose and know how freezing cold it was!


At least it's over. My cousin is happy, and I'm happy for her. The groom seemed nice enough, although he was a little liquored up for some Dutch courage, so it was hard to tell. He's one of those people who talks really fast too, so I didn't get half of what he said.

The rest of the weekend was good. My gran's birthday dinner on Friday at Rhapsody's in Centurion was stunning, and the Grand Prix yesterday was interesting, if a little disappointing for my team, McLaren.

So now, in my last full week of working here, I'm just trying to tie up loose ends and figure out the bit that comes next.

*My cousin is rather large, to put it politely. She always has been. The groom happens to be exceptionally skinny. The contrast is obvious to all, but there was no reason for Frank to make them stand up and draw attention to 'Timone and Pumba' as he called them. Awful man.