What I learnt last night

For those of you not in the know, TSC and I lead a church small group at our home every week. This term our group decided to investigate other world religions to try an gain insight into the different beliefs and find any common ground. Last night we invited K, TSC's Muslim friend, to talk to us about his faith. Here is what I learnt:

• I can cook Halaal! K enjoyed my chicken roast, and aside from the slight awkwardness in the beginning (he's definitely not used to chatting to women), I had a good time.
• K is a Shi'ite Muslim. He prays in a different way to people from other Islamic sects, and although he says there are many similarities, there are also differences in the interpretation of the Qur'an and in various religious practices. It's kind of like the way that within Christianity there are various denominations... Catholics, Baptists, Anglicans and so on.
• In Shi'ite law and religion, women and men are equal although different. K was quite funny about this - he's been living in Saudi Arabia, and when I asked him about why women there wear burkas, aren't allowed to drive and are treated as inferior, he said something along the lines of, "That's not in the Qur'an. They are overreacting to what is written." He believes the teachings have been misinterpreted and "stretched too far".
• In K's culture, "love marriages" are permitted, although arranged marriages are also common. K will have an arranged marriage and says he prefers it this way. When asked why, he replied, "If you saw the girl my father has found for me you would agree!" He added that women are allowed to veto the marriage if they don't want to wed the man chosen for them, and that they can also disagree with the bride price that has been suggested. He has known the girl he will marry since childhood. He is currently 19 and she is 17, and discussions have begun, although the marriage will only take place once he's finished studying (in three years time). K stresses that this is a cultural rather than a religious practise - both arranged and love marriages are allowed in Islam.
• Polygamy is also allowed in Islam - a man may have up to four wives at any time. K's great grandfather had a total of seven in his life, and K explains that this was because, in a religion where family and community are of vital importance, men may marry widows or vulnerable women in order to assure them of security and shelter.
• There are different types of Jihad in Shi'ite Islam. Jihad is a religious duty and means "struggle". K says that he is required to "struggle" against those who try to hinder him from practising his faith; against those who assault him (for example, if someone breaks into his house and threatens him or his family he is entitled to defend himself through violence) and against a state that is attempting to force its religion on its people, as people should be free to choose their own faith. In the third case, he notes that Islam retains respect for the Jewish and Christian faiths, as they are based on some of the same holy books as Islam.
• Muslims believe that your kismet (fate, destiny or luck) is predetermined by Allah. In other words, your life is already written and you are following along a pre-planned path. Your kismet can, however, be changed according to your behaviour - if you follow the will of God and do good things, you will be rewarded.
• K finds aspects of our culture unnerving. He had many questions for us, especially about how women dress and the use of alcohol in our society. Our group had some nice debates going answering these. It was great fun.