Happy Birthday, Schmee

It's my brother's birthday today. I know he's not going to see this, but...

Happy birthday my not-so-little-anymore brother. I know I'm not a great sister, but I love you and I'm thinking of you and praying for you on your special day. We don't always see eye to eye, but you have a great big piece of my heart. I can picture you rolling your eyes at that, but hey - it's the truth. Imagine me saying, "great big piece of my heart" in a terrible Scottish accent and I'm sure you'll be able to deal with it.

I wish I could spend the day with you, give you a big hug and tell you I love you, Schmee. Then tickle you mercilessly, tease you about your multi-coloured facial hair and swap awful baby jokes.

So here's to you, my charming, hilarious, impatient, gorgeous, silly, wonderful brother... I know you'll appreciate these:

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired Patient #1 of what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red.The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself"Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"