Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Some thoughts

Funny how running on a treadmill can invigorate you and lying in bed stressing can tire you out.

My money is in my account today. I feel... a mixture of relief, the dying embers of white hot anger and a wee bit emotionally exhausted.

Had a little breakdown yesterday when TSC got home. I can soldier on bravely on my own, but when someone's nice to me and I'm upset... Well, it's a tearful, messy scene. So much for waterproof mascara, by the way. It's about as effective as transparent window blinds.

It's not so much the late payment that upset me, but the way it was handled. And the fact that the cracks are seriously starting to show here at morning job. I don't think I can do this anymore. Lay awake last night and mulled over the options, from physical violence to finding a job flipping burgers. There were a few sensible thoughts in between too. Pity I can't remember most of them this morning.

I can, however, remember one of my dreams, which was like an episode of Scrubs. That could be because TSC and I watched a few last shows night to make me laugh a bit. Alternatively it might be because I dream of having a good old Dr Cox style rant at *ahem* certain people.

"Dr. Cox: [explaining he doesn't care it's JD's last week of residency] I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week. Let's see... low carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah & all Kabbalah-related products, Hi-Def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hotspots, the OC, the UN, recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys, Jeff that Wiggle that sleeps too darn much, the Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everythingj every-everything that exists past present & future, in discovered and undiscovered dimensions! [turns away, then turns back] Oh, and Hugh Jackman."

Why Hugh Jackman? K, I'm outta here.

10 comments:

cestlavietlb said...

I love Scrubs too. My boyfriend gets really upset though when I start saying the lines before the actors do...
Glad you got paid...hope you come to some sort of decision.

Damaria Senne said...

glad you got paid. The annoying thing is that while you wait, it's draining on your energy. And I can't imagine the level of stress. Good luck landing assignments that could hopefully replace morning job.

Paula said...

I'm really sorry but Im glad thoughh that at least its over now and you can move on.

Hugh Jackman? Because he is most gorge!

Slyde said...

im sorry you had to go thru that. I had a similar situation here last year, when half of the companies automatic payrolls were never deposited. it was chaos.

Susan said...

The Wiggles still live? I could never decide if they were annoying or not. Now for Barney........hmmm.....

po said...

I feel your pain Tamara. I am having mini break downs almost every day, for far more feeble reasons than you. I hope something awesome makes you smile soon!

Cam said...

Tam...If I'd have to go thru this 'not being paid' every month I'd crack.

Glad in came thru but the stress they cause you is just not cricket!

Louisa said...

I don't think anyone can blame you for losing it a bit. Seems they're making a habit now of paying late - it's not fair of them to expect their workers to finance their business like that!

angel said...

I'm playing catch-up backwards, like I usually do, so whilst I;m glad you got your money I don;t yet know what the issue was...

:P

Wenchy said...

I am glad you got paid... I am the same, I can be brave.. until somebody is nice to me.