Ridiculous, absurd and irritatingly true

Directly after typing my last post on Wednesday, my PC crashed. The IT goons picked it up and only returned it to me today.

Without my wireless card, which they forgot, so I still had no internet or email access. Eventually, they brought the card across and the PC seemed to be in working order. The IT goons left.

My PC froze. I rebooted it.

It froze again.

It is now letting me post. I'm assuming it will freeze again in 40 minutes (this seems to be the length of its concentration span).

I don't think I can go on like this. I want to scream.

I will NOT get sick

Woke up this morning with a slight headache, blocked nose and very sore throat. I am choosing to blame this on the cold weather because I can't be getting sick. I just flat out refuse.

In other news, forgive me please if I have been slack at reading and commenting on your blogs lately. There are multiple reasons for this. Firstly, I am seriously lacking in spare time. Secondly, my PC is a nastypants that is having a bad week and is refusing to let me open more than three internet windows / tabs at once. For someone who normally has about nine open at any given time, this is very irritating. Thirdly, I am going through a typical patch of boredom with my own blog, which means that instead of opening Blogger as I get into the office, I'm only getting around to it at midday, which leaves me little time for browsing.

But know that I still love you all. And your briliant blogs. And as soon as my life moves out of this stagnant pool of... ummm... gross stuff... I vill be back. As the governator once said.

Have a good Tuesday (is it only Tuesday?! Feels like it should be Friday). I leave you with on eof my favorite cartoons from Being Five (you may have seen this strip running at the bottom of my blog):

Daydreaming of my duvet

I didn't get a wink of sleep last night. My dear demented cat, Marble, went missing. He's a house cat and only gets to go out when we're home, so we usually know where he is. He's back now (he arrived at 5am this morning in the pouring rain), but between my lack-of-sleep headache, the miz weather and the flickering flourescent lightbulb, I am twitching like I've been plugged into an electric socket.

My monitor seems to be reaching out to me through the glass and then swirling itself around while flashing a bright white light. Soon it will start singing... "Lucy in the sky with diamonds..."

Hmmm... I guess this is kind of what tripping on LSD feels like. Anyone with experience wish to comment?

Twisted intertubes...

I hate the internet today. Ours keeps going down and I am tired of retyping what I was writing, so this is all you're getting for today (if the sadistic line even lets me publish this)...

The difference between Nigella Lawson's way and the real woman's way:

1. Nigella's Way
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice-cream drips .
The Real Woman's Way
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Goodness sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

2. Nigella's Way
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
The Real Woman's Way
Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year.

3. Nigella's Way
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
The Real Woman's Way
Spar sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.

4. Nigella's Way
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.
The Real Woman's Way
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough!. Please recite with me the Real Woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

5. Nigella's Way
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks
The Real Woman's Way
It could keep forever. Who eats it?

6. Nigella's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
The Real Woman's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of vodka : Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but you won't care!

7. Nigella's Way
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
The Real Woman's Way
Why do I have a man?

8. Nigella's Way
Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles
The Real Woman's Way
left over wine???? Helllloo