Wednesday, 23 April 2008

The joyful life of a journo

I have to post this series of work emails from yesterday so that you too can have a good laugh at some of the twits I come into contact with. But let me give you a bit of context first: One of the publishers I work with calls me and tells me I need to do masses of shmoozy interviews with a client of theirs to go into one of their annuals as the client is pretty much paying for half of the publication. Fine. I call the company and begin the process. It takes forever, because they are completely useless and inefficient bureacrats. Eventually I get the info and send it to the publisher. Months pass. Then this...

Hello Tamara

Hope you are well. I was amazed to be informed that the _____ publication has since been issued. I was expecting that as contributors at least we would be informed and get some complementary copies for internal use and showcase. Since this correspondence I have not heard form you. We were not advised how to access this magazine. Outsiders are calling some of our employees featuring on the magazine informing them that they saw them on it. When our own employees informed me and asked as to why there is no copy for ______ I got embarrassed. When employees were asked to participate I indicated to them that they will be the first ones to know about the magazines and perhaps even get them some copies

The bottom line is I am very disappointed with how things turned out after such hard work from myself when you were sitting on my back to deliver your content. Will you please make complementary copies available to us and also advise where and how this magazine can be accessed.


Useless Twit*

Completely out of the blue! I mean, I assumed seeing they were star clients the publishers would send them some mags. Also, I'm a freelance journo - I have absolutely nothing to do with distribution. So I forward the message to the publisher, asking how I should respond. He says he'll deal with it and that they've been sent 1 000 copies. Then I get CC-ed into a mail from the above twit's superior...

Dear Useless Twit*,

I was informed yesterday afternoon that there are 30 boxes of the publication at receiving. Simple Moron* will deliver them to you.

Superior Twit*

30 BOXES!!! I ask you - is it my fault if they don't talk to each other? I reiterate my previous theory: all journos should be afforded free (and compulsory) therapy.

*names have been changed to avoid lawsuits


Bridget said...


I used to get these all the time.

I loved them.

My standard answer would b e, "This newspaper/magazine doesn't pay it's sources." Har har.

And they were sent copies!

Sies on them.

Obviously crap management.

Tamara said...

Wait... were you a journo?

Bridget said...

Oh aye.

I was.

Tamara said...

Tssk tssk... And all this vitriolic condescension! I would expect at least a smidgen of empathy.

So, what made you leave the profession, aside from the rubbish pay and dealing with difficult sources?

Bridget said...

The Sudan.

I haven't even drip of sympathy. Narcissists! f course you have to be, you're opinion shapers

Tamara said...

*snort* Like anyone gives a continental about my opinion! I write for business and trade publications that nobody's even heard of. If only I had the kind of influence you ascribe to me!

Bridget said...

Ah ...

We could discourse on this further.

But then I would just be soapboxing.

I have a theory.

When I am not drunk, I'll tell you.

Tamara said...

Well, let me knoe when you're sober - I'm all ears.

sweets said...

to think i wanted to be a journalist when i was a pipsqueak... thank God for small mercies ;)

Tamara said...

Lucky you.

Glugster said...

Nice chat box you've got going with Bridget here. LOL

BTW - Bridget is hardly ever sober, so you might have to wait a bit.......

With regards to Useless Twit and cronies. I'm not even a journo and I deal with them on a daily basis. When you have organised therapy please let me know. I might just come along!

Tamara said...

Glug: I know... give her any attention and you can't get rid of her!

Just kidding, B. You shock and awe.

Hate to tell you, Glug, but blogging is my therapy, so you're already here :)

sweets said...

don't listen to glug... he even thinks i'm crazy... now THAT'S crazy hehe ;)

gotcha on the therapy, i feel exactly the same ;)

Tamara said...

But Sweets, we all think you're crazy. Kidding!

elizabeth said...

Before you indicated that all names were changed I was quite sure I used to have some of the same clients... figured they left because I kept addressing their correspondence to "useless twit"

(nobody told me that how you type their name into your email actually SHOWS when you send it... jj)

Tamara said...

Hehehe... Elizabeth, you are FUNNY!