Many, many movies

For those of you who've been reading this blog for any length of time, you'll know that I am a bit of a cinephile. But, because I am VERY opinionated on the subject of movies, I try not to blog about films too often and bore you all to tears. So here are some very short (one-sentence) totally subjective reviews on movies I've seen recently. Feel free to argue or agree in the comments section ;-)

Despicable Me I thoroughly enjoyed this simple feel-good movie because it kept me laughing most of the way through (especially the fabulous minions).

Outrageous Despite the fact that I find John Vlismas distinctly unfunny, this raucous stand-up comedy film features the hilarious Loyiso Gola, Riaad Moosa and Barry Hilton, among others, and had a couple of jokes that I'm STILL laughing about, about a month after watching it. Note: This is a South African movie, so you probably won't be able to find it if you're not from here. Also... It's not for sensitive viewers.

Ghostwriter Although the movie is extremely well made and well acted, it didn't save it from being fairly boring.

The Karate Kid Aside from the fact that Will Smith's kid is freakily like a little mini version of his dad, I really liked this movie - it will introduce a whole new generation to the awesomeness of The Karate Kid, this time without the bad 80s fashion ;-)

The A-Team If you're looking for a plausible storyline, don't watch this movie - it's all about big guns, big personalities and big laughs... Fabulous.

The Ugly Truth The movie that justifies every nasty thing ever said about chick flicks - what a crock!

Old Dogs Possibly the worst movie I have watched all year, there is nothing charming or funny about this lame rubbish.

The Accidental Husband It's nothing original or clever, but this fluffy, silly chick flick is great veg-out-on-the-couch-and-drool-in-front-of-your-tv brain candyfloss (sweet but not substantial) - ideal for a Sunday evening or when you're at home with the flu.

SALT Yet another America vs Russia action spy thriller, this one requires you to leave your logic at the door and just try to pretend to believe the possibility of the slick, attractive nonsense unfolding onscreen.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps One of those movies that looks far more interesting in the previews than it actually is, despite its stars' best efforts to inject some life into the film.

Step Up 3D If you can get past the total lack of plausible storyline and the pathetic acting, this is actually worth seeing in 3D for the dance sequences, which are pretty awesome.

Robin Hood It had its moments and had me interested for parts of the movie, but overall Robin Hood took itself waaaay too seriously.

Kickass I cannot believe that people found this crass, over the top, revolting movie funny - there were bits where I actually left the room to escape it.

Silk I'm not a Keira Knightley fan, although in this long, long pointless movie that revolves around silkworm eggs, she is actually less dull than co-star Michael Pitt.

Cinephile: (n) person with a passionate interest in cinema

I am now on day nine of a continuous headache. That can't be normal. Anyway, seeing the head is not working so well, here's a post that doesn't require too much brainpower. More one-line movie reviews!

Below are some movies that I think are worth watching that many people I know haven't seen or even heard of. Because I studied film, I am supposed to like all the "classics" like Pulp Fiction, Blue Velvet, The Godfather and Requiem for a Dream. I don't like any of those films. That doesn't mean I can't appreciate what they stand for, all they achieved and so on. It just means that given the choice between one of those flicks and the ones below, I'd pick the non-classics any day.

Cellular This movie never made it to the big screen in Suoth Africa, despite being a great skop, skiet en donder (Afrikaans for kick, shoot and beat up[rude]) flick that consists mainly of great car chases, hold-ups and kidnapping scenes.

Les Triplettes de Belleville This crazy French animation doesn't use many words so subtitles won't be necessary as you are taken on a mad adventure by a squint granny and her fat dog to rescue her cyclist grandson from gangsters in Belleville (which looks suspiciously like New York City).

Memento (This movie has (rightfully) gained an audience in recent years and is now more widely available, so see it if you get the chnace) A remarkable mind-job of a film that showcases the power of editing and Christopher Nolan's talent as a director (I'm betting it was this film that put him i line to direct the latest Batman movies), Memento stars the impressive Guy Pearce as a man suffering from short-term memory loss who uses notes and tattoos to remind himself of the facts in his quest to find his wife's murderer.

Danny Deckchair This loopy Australian film about a man (the awesome Rhys Ifans) who flies away when he ties too many balloons to his deckchair is a great feel-good movie that will lift your mood and make you giggle.

And here are some slightly better known movies that I would make everyone watch if I could, because they are fabulous:

Gattaca Set in the not-too-distant future, this stylish movie explores the idea of prejudice against "imperfect" people who haven't been genetically engineered with beautiful performances by Ethan Hawke, Jude Law and Uma Thurman.

Twelve Monkeys Mind-bending quirky sci-fi movie starring Bruce Willis (and Brad Pitt at his best playing a total nutjob) that actually addresses time travel properly, unlike most other attempts.

LA Confidential The great cast (Kevin Spacey, Russel Crowe, Guy Pearce, Danny DeVito, Kim Basinger and James Cromwell) made this smart script work and the tale of love, murder and betrayal set in 1950s Los Angeles is a pleasure to watch.

The Usual Suspects With Kevin Spacey, Gabriel Byrne and a truly clever plot, this movie about a gang formed in a police line-up couldn't go wrong.

Snatch The ultimate Guy Ritchie movie (better than Lock, Stock; Rock 'n Rolla or any of his other movies), this film is the perfct mix of action, humour, lunacy and amazing editing skills.

Contact I have a penchant for sci-fi movies that aren't full of aliens and really make you think, like this beautifully made Jodie Foster / Matthew McConaughey flick.

Short Circuit Sweet 1980s movie about a robot that is electrocuted and develops a mind (and personality) of its own... "Number 5 is alive!"

Casablanca (This is a classic and yet many of my friends won't watch it because it's in black and white. Silly!) Dramatic and enduring love tale set in Morocco that has inspired scenes in movies ranging from Star Wars to When Harry Met Sally (Google it if you don't believe me).

Waking Ned Hilarious movie about two old men who convince their entire town to play along with an outrageous plan when a friend dies holding the winning lottery ticket.

The Station Agent Sweet and simple movie following three new and very different friends (one of whom is a dwarf) as they get to know each other and walk the local train tracks.

And, just for kicks, has anyone seen this movie? Because it did my head in and I would love to swap notes:

eXistenZ Bizarre (!!!) movie starring Jude Law and Jennifer Jason Leigh as two gamers who hop from game world to game world followed by a shaggy dog and a gun made out of chicken bones.

Your thoughts?

One-line movie reviews

Me on the movies I've seen lately, some in cinema and some on DVD. Before you read, please register for Earth Hour (see banner above) if you haven't already. Ta.

The Blind Side

This was sweet, moving and enjoyable, despite being very Hollywood sanitised, and I was glad to have seen it.

It's Complicated

This took me by surprise and turned out to be far funnier than I had expected (thanks to the actors rather than the plot), especially seeing it was directed by the same person who churned out that truly awful film, Something's Gotta Give.

Fifty Dead Men Walking

Totally miserable and morbid, this may have been a good film, but by the end of two hours I was past caring and was contemplating jumping off a bridge.

Young Victoria

An enjoyable, if some what protracted (aren't they always) period drama.

Valentine's Day

If you don't think too hard about it and you watch it at the end of a long day when your brain is off-duty, this candyfloss film is not soooo bad.

Flawless

This film took a long time to get nowhere and although the journey wasn't unpleasant, it wasn't particularly memorable either.

Next on my list to see: Alice in Wonderland and Shutter Island.

Films I will not be seeing: Saw 6 and An Education (thanks DBAWIW)