Lost - episode two

I had the chat with Lost yesterday. It was so hard - I hate confrontations like this! I took some herbal calming pills beforehand and said some prayers.

In between writing yesterday's post and the chat, he managed to frustrate me even further by calling TSC to ask him to fetch him from his business meeting and then not being there when TSC arrived and by telling he'd like to visit some church on Sunday morning (meaning that I would have to take him there).

When I got home, I sat him down and explained that while I don't want to hurt or offend him , I believe in honesty and that if I don't get stuff off my chest, I will end up resenting him , which will ruin the friendship or whatever is left of it. I asked him to give me my turn to speak before he replied.

I said that I find it strange that I don't hear from him for six years and then suddenly he thinks we're best friends and invites himself to stay for a week. I also said that while I had offered for him to stay the night, I hadn't expected that to include transporting him, feeding him, trying to fit him into our social engagements and the various other complications that had arisen.

I underlined that TSC is writing exams and how it's a stressful time for us and said that I actually feel a bit used and taken for granted - that I feel my time is not being respected.

I added that it's not fair on TSC to bring a strange man he's never met into his house for a week with no notice and that the way Lost interacts with me is sometimes inappropriate. The fact that we have both changed a lot since we were last in contact and that things are different now was also a point I tried to underline.

I think I was as sensitive as I could be, but still totally honest about my feelings.

He took it better than expected. He thanked me for being honest and said he wasn't hurt or offended. He did manage to get a few tears and digs in, about the fact that I had invited him in and now was moaning about it (to which I replied that I had invited him to spend the night and hadn't realised that would mean a week of transporting him, lending him money and stressing about how to shuffle my life around).

He offered to clear out immediately if I didn't "want him around" *sniff, sniff* (trying to manipulate me into feeling even worse). I said he was welcome to spend another night, but that I didn't think it would be appropriate for him to tag along to our social function as he had previously said he would (it was WineX - the annual wine tasting festival) because he's a recovering alcoholic. I don't want to be the one that helped him fall off the wagon and I told him that straight.

He said fine and that he'd be seeing a friend instead. Later, when we were all having an early supper, I said if his friend's place was on our way we could drop him off. Turned out the friend lives past Clearwater Mall, which is miles and miles in the opposite direction from the Sandton Convention Centre, where WineX is held. He said he'd take a taxi. I gave him my set of keys, with strict instructions to lock the doors when he left.

When we returned from WineX and coffee with friends afterwards, it was past midnight. As we arrived, I could see that every single light was on downstairs - the ones in the kitchen, dining room, lounge, loo, patio... even the ones we never use. The stair lights were also on and upstairs, his bedroom light and bathroom light were on.

The front door was open. The back door was open. The veranda door was open. His wallet and my keys were lying on the table outside. Very secure!

He was fast asleep upstairs, with a pillow over his head (I wonder if he's scared of the dark?) and obviously hadn't bothered to turn off lights or lock up. It was apparent that he hadn't been out (I now think it's becuase he didn't have taxi money).

This morning I made coffee for Lost and myself (TSC had left for varsity to write a test) and asked him about his plans for today, seeing we leave for my folks this afternoon and I had no intention of leaving him my keys again.

He told me that *sniff, sniff* he'd be moving across to the guest house where he'd be staying for the rest of the time. Refusing to let the guilt wear me down and make me offer for him to stay I simply said, "Ok. Where is it?" In Bryanston. Seeing it's near where I work, I offered to drop him off, which would mean that I wouldn't have to leave him alone without knowing if he'd lock up after himself.

I then told him that I need the money he borrowed back (it's not actually mine - it's from the church to use for an outreach event and was the only cash I had in the house at the time). He said fine, I should just stop at an ATM.

When we stopped, he withdrew money and climbed back into the car. "Here's R180," he said. "But you borrowed R400," I said. "R350 for the cab and R50 extra."

He said that he was expecting money to be deposited into his account today and that I should send him my bank details and he'd do a transfer. Not sure how he plans to pay for his stay at the guest house. I was too emotionally drianed to make a big fuss about thought and just left it at that.

I dropped him at the lodge. And instantly I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I hope I don't have to pay the money back out of my own pocket and that he actually does the cash transfer, but even if I do - at least I don't have a frustrated TSC and a strung-out me anymore!

Have a good weekend, all. It's my second blog birthday tomorrow (and Halloween), so cheers all around!

A happy ending to the weekend

It wasn't a great weekend, mainly because (here comes an overshare) as well as the PMS that plagued me, I have another medical condition that seems to act in tandem with said evil PMS. I won't go into details, but basically, for five days of every month, it feels like my body is trying to murder me from the inside in three different ways at once. Not fun. Unless you're a masochist. Clearly I'm not.

On Saturday, TSC and I had planned to go to Dragon City, the sprawling Chinese market in the centre of town, to check out the cheap wares and let me stock up on some beads to make jewellery as Christmas gifts. The place is three storeys high and is crammed full of tiny, overcrowded, hot stalls manned by cross non-English speaking salespeople. It's kind of like this so-called mall is themed "hell" (just without the fire and brimstone. What is brimstone anyway?! I've always wondered). Sidetracking...

There is NO ventilation at Dragon City, so as you climb the stairs to the next floor, you get into the stale, hot, smelly air that's hanging around near the top of the building like a foul cloud of swamp gas. Lovely, hey? We also happened to be there over pay weekend and at lunch time so it was really, REALLY busy and most of the shop owners were cooking lunch on little gas stoves, adding to the heat and smell.

Needless to say, it made me feel a gazillion times worse than I had been feeling, so I spent the rest of the day lying on the couch and being thoroughly miserable (I am very talented at this, you can ask TSC. I've made it into an art form). So in the end I missed Angel and Glug's party, which SUX :-( It looks like it was such fun. And I had the coolest costume planned. Grrr...

Sunday I did some web copy writing work and interviewed someone for a story I'm writing, and then... it was time for the event of the year, the only sport worth watching, the race of the season, the last track on the calendar... The Brazilian Formula One Grand Prix! *drums, trumpets etc*

And it did not disappoint. Now I know that most of you think that F1 is just a bunch of noisy cars going around the track, but it's not. Hear me out...

Aside from being the pinnacle of motoring technology and the most expensive sport in the world, F1 is a test of both man and machine, working together to achieve not only speed but reliability and accuracy. It's a strategy game where everything from the amount of fuel in the car to the type of tyres and the length of a pitstop can make or break a race. And, in the case of yesterday's event, a championship.

Picture the scene as you would a movie: the crowds are cheering for the man in red - it's his home race and they love him. In the shadows stands his arch rival in white and orange. He's tired - it's been a long year of politics and unfair penalities, and although he's seven points in the lead and only needs to finish fifth to win the driver's championship, he remembers the previous year, where he also looked set to win but made a wrong choice and watched his dream disintegrate in front of his eyes. He knows he needs to play it safe now, but that goes against his racer's instinct.

As the teams line up to start the race, the rain comes down in buckets. The race start is postponed to give the crews a chance to put the wet tyres onto the cars so that they don't spin out of control. Eventually the race begins. The red driver speeds ahead and doesn't make a single mistake. He looks like he is controlling the race. He's perfect.

Behind him, in fifth place, his rival is exercising his self-control and driving conservatively, much as he hates it. He just needs to hang onto this place... He just needs to hang onto this place...

Pitstops come and go, pulses quicken and then slow again. As the race draws to its end, the momentum is building. Who will win the championship? Will anyone get in the way?

A few laps before the end of the race, with only minutes to go, the rain sets in again. What to do?! Should the drivers hang on and try to finish on their dry tyres and risk skidding off the wet track and crashing? Or should they pit and change to wet tyres and risk losing valuable time and places?!

Cut to the pit lane. The crews are coming out! There's a buzz of activity and the adrenaline is pumping. The leaders are coming in! 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1... And they're out again! Who's in front? Have the places changed? What's going on? Wait... one of the top runners is still on dry tyres... and he's going faster than the man in orange and white!

Will he hang onto fifth place? No! NO! He has been overtaken by a navy car! Where did he come from? The championship must be lost. But there's two laps to go... Will something change? One lap to go... The last lap has started... all is surely lost for the man in orange and white, now in sixth place?

The last corner comes up. The man in red is celebrating already as he crosses the finish line. But wait, the dry tyre car is slowing down... the man in navy overtakes him. The man in orange and white too! He's won the championship! He's won! He punches the air in excitement and relief!

The man in red begins to cry. He did everything perfectly. He won the race! How could he have lost the championship? He climbs onto the podium, wiping tears from his cheeks. His home crowd roars - he's still their hero. They love him all the more... Next year. Next year he'll do it, he tells himself.

Honestly. That's how it happened. Like a flipping Hollywood film. It could not have been more dramatic. And now it's over until March next year. Phew... I don't think my heart could have handled any more!

Have a fab week, darlinks!