Wednesday, 16 February 2011

The upside of down times

It hasn't been a great week for me or my kin. But when life is giving me lemons, I always realise again how blessed I am with such an amazing support system.

My dad called on his way home from work yesterday, having read my blog post, and we had a lengthy, helpful chat. Shortly after that, my mom phoned too and we also talked for ages about some of the stuff. My parents both soldier on together and give me the courage to follow in their footsteps.

My awesome TSC came home from varsity yesterday evening and, after supper, ran me a hot bath, complete with candles and bubbles, and then let me watch Clean House so I could turn my brain off for a bit before cuddling me to sleep.

My awesome blog buddies left sympathetic or encouraging comments on yesterday's miserable post and even the person I partner with for some of my work (mentioned yesterday) called to find out if I was okay, as I'd sounded down on the phone. She also sent an email outlining the boundaries of our business relationship, which at least gives me something solid to work from. Or discuss if needed. It's a solid relationship and I'm glad to have it.

Yes, I'm not in the happiest place right now, but there are people who are far worse off and many who have survived much harder situations. I am so fortunate that I have friends and family who are ready to battle through stuff with me, even if I sometimes can't fill them in on the details.

Of course I'm stressed about the family stuff, but it's far more stressful for certain other people involved than for me. And of course I'm bleak about losing my biggest retainer client, but I'll survive. Worse things could happen. It's a good reason to look for more of the kind of work I want to do anyway. And yes, things may be slightly awkward with some of the people I work with, but such is life. Being a grown up means having to face up to the awkward situations and try to move past them. It sucks, but it's well worth it. I've seen that time and again.

I'm always hugely relieved that I can trust in my God that He won't load me beyond what I can bear. I know many of you don't believe or believe in something / someone different to me, but my faith gives me enough grace to get through days I couldn't cope with on my own and I treasure it, whatever your thoughts are on the subject.

This post is probably quite twee, so I'm sorry for that. For someone who works with words, I find it difficult to adequately express strong emotion in mere sentences. Frantic arm gestures and OTT facial expressions are a little easier, if somewhat less elegant.

So picture it if you will... I'm somewhere between crying and smiling, between flapping my arms in despair and lifting my hands in prayerful gratitude. It's all a bit of a mess, really. But wonderful things can come out of a mess. Just ask any Jackson Pollock fan.

Thankfully, for all my airy fairy meandering blog posts (which I find incredibly helpful, so they will continue, I'm afraid), I'm actually fairly practical. I'm off now to hit my list of possible avenues for new work, which will give me something to focus on, as well as trying my hand at a type of copy writing I haven't done before (a small job that came in yesterday). Yay for hard work - it is a brilliant treatment, I find.

5 comments:

cestlavietlb said...

Hang in there Lady. You'll be fine. You can cope with it all. You are stronger than you think

xox

arkwife said...

Let's hope Blogger doesn't swallow my comment again.

I'm glad you're feeling better my friend. We're all just a phonecall or a BBM away if you need us :)

Helen said...

I'm glad you're feeling a bit happier. I'll be thinking of you and your family! And ten points to TSC for doing a great job!

boldly benny said...

Oh my poor poor friend! I so feel your pain - this has been a particularly crap week for my personal and professional life! Sending you lots of love and virtual chocolate and wine!
It will get better for both of us, I'm confident of that!
Will keep my ear to the ground for any writing opportunities for you xx

Angel said...

I read your posts the way you write them- smiling, nodding, frowning, clapping...!
You really have been put through the wringer, and I'm playing catch-up in reverse.
BIG hugs. HUGE!