I miss my iPod*

I know I am sometimes a bit of a technophobe** and that I didn't want an iPod at first, but when the one I was given got swiped (ages ago), I didn't really click what I was losing... Salvation from South African radio DJs and crappy teeny-bopper pop music nonsense that invades my headspace daily (along with the nutty ideas, odd complexes and few delusions that already reside there, it's getting a bit crowded now).



We have such a limited choice of radio stations (in English, my mother tongue, at least) here and I just don't understand why they must all be stocked with annoying DJs. And I'm not just talking about the music (wait, that rant is coming later in this post) - I know they don't get much of a choice in the playlists. But for goodness' sake... is it really necessary to be so irritating?



There are those who make lame toilet-humour jokes that are appropriate for kids under the age of 10 (ok, ok, ok... and me, after a few glasses of wine). Then there are others who turn every single sentence into some sort of dodgey sexual innuendo (like that freaky Brand Power lady who sounds all sultry and excited about washing powder and other such scintillating products). Some are boring (the mere sound of their droning voices puts you to sleep and you should not be tuning in while driving). Others are whiney. And there are a whole bunch who think they are way funnier than they are.



There are one or two who are not bad at all (and they are obviously the ones in the prime driving-time slots), but most of them still play the awful music that all sounds the same to me.



Call me a granny, but I like music with a beat, a tune and decent lyrics. At the moment all I seem to hear (on whatever radio station it is that the girls at the office are permanently listening to throughout the day) is high-pitched nonsense that all sounds the same. And the words! I have come to the conclusion that the best way to make a career in music is to find a phrase or even a word you really like and sing it (or shriek it in some cases) over and over and over again. At least three times.

Example 1:
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
(Ella ella, eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella, eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella, eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella, eh eh eh, eh eh eh)


Example 2:

Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield

Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield

Better go and get your armor (get your armor), get your armor (get your armor)

I guess you better go and get your armor (get your armor), get your armor (get your armor)

I guess you better go and get your...

Example 3:
It's not fair
And I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
Oh you're supposed to care
But you never make me scream
You never make me scream

Oh it's not fair
And it's really not ok
It's really not ok
It's really not ok
Oh you're supposed to care
But all you do is take
Yeah all you do is take

And who could forget that super-stupid "boom boom boom" song from the Black Eyed Peas?

Give me some good old-fashioned Counting Crows, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Simon & Garfunkel, Cold Play or U2. Hmmm... it seems only half the problem is with the daft music... I don't seem to like female musicians as much as the men. No, that can't be right, becuase there's loads of awful music by dudes on the radio... Pit Bull, Sean Kingston and Kanye West ("Paranoid" is a prime example) to name just a few.

If I had the choice I would work in silence. It's easier to concentrate. But if I was going to pick music to listen to at the office, it certainly wouldn't be the crap we have on at the moment (Something about Release Meeeeeeeee, Release my bod-eeeeeeeee. Ugh).

I reckon my project this week will be to create a mix CD for the office.


*If I say it three times in a row to a beat, I could be the next big pop star!

**Which is better than being a rectal probe