Try this trick and spin it, yeah...

And you'll ask yourself, where is my mind?

Seriously. It's gone. My mind, that is. Or was. Or whatever.

Last night I dreamt that I poisoned myself. Not a suicide dream - there was actually some purpose or reason that I had to poison myself, Romeo and Juliet style. Can't remember why, but it all made sense in the dream. Then, in another dream, I was in a play about pirates and policemen. My bit was to storm on stage wearing an eye patch, bang my tin mug on the table and storm off again. I was awesome. You would have cheered and clapped for me.

So, Pixies, where is my mind?

Not on this blog yesterday, obviously, or there would've been a 14 April 2010 post here. There's not. And this is because I could not think in a straight line (or even a curved line. Or dotted line), simply because I had not had enough sleep.

This was not because of bizarre dreams (although there were some), but because I knew I had to get up early to be dressed and ready to leave for a business networking breakfast that started at 7am. When I know I have to get up early, my brain wakes me up every 10 minutes just to make sure that I don't oversleep. Which I didn't. In fact, I just plain didn't sleep, nevermind oversleep.

But, I am back today, lucky you, in all my magic randonmess to tell you about my crazy poisoning dreams and leave you with these interesting thoughts from the inimitable Edward Monkton:

My keyboard makes a useless pillow

Good grief, I am shattered! If I was a zombie yesterday then today I'm... Too tired to think of something worse than a zombie today.

I did, however, against all odds manage to get everything done that I needed to do yesterday - finished the last bits and bobs of work on a client project, attended yet another Makro meeting, celebrated TSC's first 100% score on a test, wrote and submitted my longest assignment for my writing course and made it to bed just before midnight. Then up early this morning to listen to the Makro interview on John Robbie's show at 6.40.

I'm not thinking in a straight line though. I slept terribly last night, with dreams of my computer crashing and then of having my legs amuptated by a mad person with a chainsaw. Not fun. My subconscious is freaky.

I'm useless when I haven't had enough sleep and so far I've managed to forget my lunch at home, put the wrong phone number on a press release and send it out to the media (sooo professional), send emails with incorrect attachments and stare at the same sentence for 10 minutes without understanding it.

I think a night off is in order.

Right, have to go and see if I can find a stale rusk or two for lunch.

My head is killing me

No, it's not the voices this time. Just an evil headache.

I worked till late last night to finish a piece I'm doing for a magazine. This publication always gives me insane deadlines. But they pay well. This time, they couldn't find the contact details for the person they wanted me to interview, so I only managed to get hold of him on the day of the original deadline. Eventually we set up an interview (4pm on Monday afternoon). He was 30 minutes late and so I only finished at about 5.30 and had to hang about on the other side of town until traffic subsided slightly. Seeing the piece goes to print on Friday, I had to get it to the interviewee today to give him approval time. That meant that I only had yesterday to write the 2100 words I was commissioned to do.

Normally that wouldn't be a problem. I write fast. But, this article is incredibly technical and I lack the specialised vocabulary to explain certain processes, so it took me ages. I was still impressed with myself for getting it done, I must admit. But, true to form, because my brain was in work mode, I could not fall asleep.

And when I eventually did nod off in the wee small hours of the morning, I had weird dreams about my editor turning into my writing course teacher and then giving me awful feedback and making me rewrite the whole article today. In between there were also some strange dreams about the work I have to review written by other students on the course, and about the megastore that plans to build on our boundary wall.

I don't think I will ever grow out of the habit of dealing with whatever is bothering my psyche through odd dreams.

Today I feel and look like a zombie. Thankfully I don't have any business meetings today. I reckon people would assume I have a serious drug habit because of my red eyes.

Off to go do my reviewing now. Hopefully it doesn't give me more nightmares tonight ;-)