Warning: overshare ahead.
I always find that being emotionally exhausted is more stressful than being physically worn out. How about you?
This weekend was one of those where all the issues get brought out from under the rug and poked a bit. Flip, I feel like my issues were tied to the stake and set on fire this weekend.
What is she on about? That is probably the question that people wonder about most but vocalise least when it comes to me ;-)
This weekend started with a heated debate concerning my MIL and ended with a heated debate concerning my MIL. See, my in-laws and I... (how to put this diplomatically?)... have some difficulty getting along.
With my SIL getting married in December, and most of TSC and my conversations over the past week revolving around December holiday plans and his family, things were getting a bit tense. Nevermind the fact that MIL asked me (on my birthday) about when on earth I plan on having babies. Again. After TSC has specifically asked her not to go there.
So, on Friday eve, he had a long, long, long discussion with her on the phone about many, many issues, which ended up with both of them in tears. Maybe this is good for the two of them, maybe not. Who knows.
But it had been a really rough week for me and I had been fragile and needy all day (PMS really sucks). I had just told TSC that I needed some TLC before he went off to make this "quick" phone call. So I was waiting on the veranda with supper, wine, loads of candles and plans for a romatic evening in, while he was having this epic and unheard of discussion inside (his family never ever does deep, confrontational conversations).
Needless to say, the food got cold, the candles spilled wax everywhere, the mosquitoes decided the wine glass was a good place to take a dive and eventually I gave up.
And then he came out and started telling me about all the things MIL had said and that just sent me off the deep end. I am not going to go into details here, but we fought long and hard and only made up late that night, with some issues not really being dealt with properly.
And so, despite having a great time at the Getaway Show on Sat (picked up a great pair of hiking boots for cheap, cheap, plus a load of info about the different places we want to visit), and enjoying the fundraising event we went to (a 70s show called Nite Fever at the Broadacres Barnyard Theatre) with my folks and some friends on Sat eve, there was still some distance between us.
And I hate that. I can handle anything with TSC at my side, but I fall apart when things are crap between us.
We went to The Meat Co. at Montecasino (food was so-so) for a belated birthday lunch for him with my folks and my brother yesterday, and then my mom and dad came to watch the Italian Grand Prix at our house. Then it was church and back home, but I still felt far away from TSC.
Eventually, when we got ready for bed (why is it always when you want to sleep that it all comes to a head?), the unresolved issues reared their ugly heads again and the fight pretty much resumed where it had left off on Friday night.
Thankfully we seemed to work things out a lot better this time. I think he understands my position for the first time (I know it's incredibly hard on him that I don't see eye to eye with his family, but he also needs to realise that it takes two to tango). Although things will still be difficult with them, the fact that he gets where I'm coming from will make a huge difference.
We got to bed well after midnight, so we're both physically exhaused today, but I just feel emotionally drained. Thank goodness we don't have this type of discussion very often - I think I would collapse of emotion-overload.
Here's to a more peaceful, productive week!