Wednesday, 6 April 2011

I should not be allowed out in winter

We've had three cold days and my brain has frozen. And it's only going to get worse.

Argh... CAN'T. THINK. PROPERLY.

If you could listen to my thoughts, this is what you'd hear today:

It's cold. It's so cold. Why is it so cold? Must quote that new client. Open quote template, Tamara. Insert client name: Sue.
Sue.
Soup.
Souuuuuuuup... Must have soup. FOCUS! Hmmm.... what was I doing? Quote.
Quote, quote, quote... What a weird word! Quote. Quooote. Quote rhymes with boat. Float. Moat. Goat. Note.

Ooh! Ooh! Must not forget to call that interviewee tomorrow morning at nine! Make a note.
Sun's peeping through the clouds. YAY!!!
Damnit, it's gone again.
Cold. Miserably cold. Mope.

And on and on, in a continuous loop. It's crazy up there.

A friend who works in recruitment just sent me a list of the funny things she's found in CVs sent to her company. They are hilarious. A few of the best:

  • I was very popular under the staff
  • am able to multituskand pay attantion to every little detail
  • Reason for leaving : the grass is greener everywhere.
  • Dependants Tree
  • Location: Horneydew, South Africa (Gauteng)
  • I was regarded as feared and respected learner since STD 3
  • It has come to my attention that I would like to be part of your organisation.
  • I HAVE :
    · THE ABILITY TO THREATEN PEOPLE TO INCREASE THEIR MOTIVATION, TO ENCOURAGE A FASTER WORK RATE.
  • Attending to various clients at various levels of drunken aggression
  • "IF GOD IS FOR US ALL WHY DO YOU HATE ME''
Seriously, these are honest-to-goodness examples she's cut and paste from real people's CVs.

5 comments:

po said...

Um.... why do you hate me???? A good way to ask for a job? Although, sometimes it does feel that way after getting loads of rejection letters or not even a rejection letter.

Louisa said...

"Attending to various clients at various levels of drunken aggression"

Mwahahaha - I think I've worked at a place like that before.

Helen said...

Soooooooup...

rubyletters.com said...

lol...love how your brain works) mine does the same thing...cept not because it's cold..i'm just easily distracted)

Angel said...

Oh I would so love to see the jobs those people were applying for!!! Good gravy!!!