Some thoughts

Funny how running on a treadmill can invigorate you and lying in bed stressing can tire you out.

My money is in my account today. I feel... a mixture of relief, the dying embers of white hot anger and a wee bit emotionally exhausted.

Had a little breakdown yesterday when TSC got home. I can soldier on bravely on my own, but when someone's nice to me and I'm upset... Well, it's a tearful, messy scene. So much for waterproof mascara, by the way. It's about as effective as transparent window blinds.

It's not so much the late payment that upset me, but the way it was handled. And the fact that the cracks are seriously starting to show here at morning job. I don't think I can do this anymore. Lay awake last night and mulled over the options, from physical violence to finding a job flipping burgers. There were a few sensible thoughts in between too. Pity I can't remember most of them this morning.

I can, however, remember one of my dreams, which was like an episode of Scrubs. That could be because TSC and I watched a few last shows night to make me laugh a bit. Alternatively it might be because I dream of having a good old Dr Cox style rant at *ahem* certain people.

"Dr. Cox: [explaining he doesn't care it's JD's last week of residency] I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week. Let's see... low carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah & all Kabbalah-related products, Hi-Def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hotspots, the OC, the UN, recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys, Jeff that Wiggle that sleeps too darn much, the Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everythingj every-everything that exists past present & future, in discovered and undiscovered dimensions! [turns away, then turns back] Oh, and Hugh Jackman."

Why Hugh Jackman? K, I'm outta here.