Minor journo rant

When I write a magzine story, it generally requires a couple of interviews. I quite enjoy interviews. I always learn something new. Unless the interviewee is completely useless, which thankfully doesn't happen very often.

I need to explain something though: If my story is 2000 words long and I'm interviewing four people, it means that I have at most 500 words per interview. That's one typed page in MS Word. Given that I need to actually write an introduction and conclusion to the article, it's usually closer to 400 words.

Currently, I'm writing a 2000-word story and interviewing six people. So that's around 330 words (maximum) per person. That's the equivalent of three paragraphs. I have learnt that it's pointless sending an interviewee a list of 15 probing questions if I only have three paragraphs to write about their answers. So I will send a list of five questions, the first one being full name and designation. And when I interviewee the person, it will generally take me about 20 minutes to go through those questions. Even then, I will have to distill the most important facts from the surplus information into three paragraphs, which is enormously challenging, especially when the person has lots of useful and interesting info to convey.

But some interviewees... *sigh* They still want me to drive to Pretoria (50km away) for a face-to-face interviewee and spend two hours at their offices chatting to them.

I don't have the time, the petrol or the patience.

Really - it's three paragraphs! When you win the Nobel Peace Prize and I am writing an in-depth profile for Time magazine and being paid mega-bucks for it (in other words, not in the near future), then we can discuss setting aside a whole day for me to record your every word and stroke your ego.

Until then, I really do think a telephonic interview will suffice.

Toll woes - a rant

For those of you not living in Gauteng, let me explain that we're about to get all our freeways tolled in this tiny little economic hub of a province (they'll have to change that name - payways instead of freeways, maybe?).

If I visit my folks in Pretoria during a weekday from June when this comes into play, a round trip will cost me more than R50 just in toll fees! For all you lucky Jozi dwellers, check out this toll calculator to find out how much your trips will cost you.

I don't have a problem with tolling our roads if it's going to mean they're kept in great condition. But if you live in Joburg, you'll know that it's difficult to get from point A to point B without using the freeway at some point. It's a big city that's really spread out. And at an estimated cost of 56c per kilometre, the costs will add up very quickly for residents of the province. This is going to cost courier companies a fortune, and, in fact, impact on the price of all goods that travel by road (which is most of them in SA, seeing our railway system is currently really poor).

Back roads, which are already pothole ridden, will worsen as people try to avoid the highway tolls. We'll also have to pay for the special e-tag or number plates for our vehicles, which is another cost to consider.

I know this has all been said before, but it hadn't really hit home for me until I used the toll calculator and saw how much it's actually going to affect me. Seriously considering signing the petition against the current proposed costs.

What are your thoughts?

Also, just so you know, Blogger is not letting me comment on any blogs. Keeps telling me it's a "bad request" when I submit in the comment form. So, Phillygirl, Cam etc... I am reading, but can't comment.

Lacking in logic

Is it just me, or is common sense a thing of the past?

Take, for example, the local car dealership situated within walking distance of my house. One would imagine that when constructing such a development, it would be wise to consider how the cars that will be sold are going to arrive at the dealership. But no, the clever people who built it made sure that the entrance is impossible to access for the car delivery vehicles. See, those long trucks can't turn too well, so putting two turning circles in the narrow entrance to your dealership is not a good idea.

What now happens is that the trucks have to offload the vehicles in the middle of the road that goes through the suburb and then drive each car separately the rest of the way into the dealership development. This causes nightmares for the other cars trying to use the road while the trucks are offloading.

What's worse is that once the trucks have offloaded, they can't turn around. So they have to drive down the rest of the road, which ends in a cul de sac outside the development where we live and then do a 60-point turn to get to face the opposite direction so that they can get back onto the main road. If you live in the development where I do, it is common to be kept waiting at the main gate for ages while you wait for the poor truck driver to complete this mammoth manouevre.

Like so...

Lacking in logic.

In another prime example of the inability to think rationally, there's the client who told me I can't use the term "SA is currently soccer mad" in a press release because it has negative connotations and people might think that I'm insinuating that South Africans have become mentally insane.

Deficient in common sense.

And, of course, there's the client who insisted on having a media release translated into Afrikaans before the English version had been amended and approved, meaning that every time she makes changes on the English one, the Afrikaans one has to be changed again too.

Short on reason.

Of course, I can't forget the estate agents who don't call before they bring a prospective new tenant to see the house we're using as Red Tree offices and then get annoyed when there's nobody here to let them in.

Without sound judgment.

*sigh*

I know I'm not alone in my frustrations. Someone else feels my pain - check out this obituary for Common Sense.

Joburg and Commitment (a ramble)

It took me a long time to get used to living in Johannesburg and to actually start enjoying the energy of the city and the good stuff it offers - fast pace, great cultural and sporting events, friendly people, diversity, earning potential etc.

There is, however, something that still frustrates me enormously - the fact that people wear their busyness as a badge and can't commit to stuff.

What does that mean? Well, chances are, if you ask anyone in Joburg how they are, the answers will be busy / stressed / tired / hectic / frantic / various other synonyms. And that's usually the truth - the pace here is insane and most people are working incredibly hard. Living in Joburg can be stressful. You just have to spend five minutes on the roads here to realise that!

BUT...

(of course there's a but)

People use this busyness as an excuse for anything, from being bad at keeping in touch to forgetting a birthday or not arriving at a function. And I am guilty of this on occasion too - I have pulled out of a social event because work got too crazy at the time. It's normal, it's human and it's probably healthy.

BUT....

(oooh... another one)

It's very frustrating to try and organise a social event in Joburg when this is the norm. I recently had to organise our church ushering team year-end thank you function (we're going to see show at one of the Barnyard theatres this weekend). What a nightmare! Trying to get 50 people to RSVP was impossible. After three emails and an SMS to the people who hadn't responded, I gave up.

Then, days after the final RSVP deadline, I had people asking if they could still come. And bring a partner.

I finally bought the tickets (which the church is sponsoring). Of course, I've now had a whole host of last-minute pull-outs, even though this was organised weeks ago. Some people have good reasons (one guy had to unexpectedly fly to Kenya on business, for example), but others don't. One of the guys asked to bring his sister, who is visiting for the weekend, and now neither of them are coming because he hadn't checked with her first. So I have a bunch of tickets that have been paid for and will probably go to waste unless I can find some folks to fill the empty seats at this late date.

Grrr!

I think there's a difference between saying you can't come to a relaxed braai anymore because you have been dumped with a mammoth last-minute project for work and saying you can't come to an event you've committed to where money has already been spent on you because you found something better to do or you didn't plan your time very well.

For example, I didn't mind when someone called me on the night of my birthday party to say he was down with flu and wouldn't be there after all. Poor dude! I did, however, mind when a supposed friend RSVPed "yes" to our wedding and then simply didn't show up on the day, meaning we still had to pay for his seat and meal that had been prepared for him.

Am I making any sense?

I know this is not a Joburg-specific problem, but I do seem to find it worse here than the other places I've lived. If you organise any sort of event here, whether it's a work function or a dinner at your house or a big get-together birthday celebration, chances are that you will have a handful of people calling you on the day to cancel or just not bothering to pitch up because they are "too busy".

And we perpetuate this cycle in Joburg because (consciously or unknowingly) we judge each other and ourselves on our level of busyness, which we somehow think equates to productivity or success.

I know so many people (including me) who feel like we have to be sick or on our December holiday before we can slow down, even for one day. We pack our days with activities and engagements and run ourselves into the ground trying to get everything done.

And eventually we are so exhausted that we end up calling some poor sod who's trying to organise a church ushering year-end function and saying we can't make it anymore, because we are just too busy.

*Sigh*

Diatribe aside, I'm off to try to find some people who aren't too busy to come to a show this weekend.

People don't understand my OTHER job either!

Ages ago I wrote a post about how people don't understand my morning PR job. I mentioned that there's nothing complicated about journalism, which I see as my real job (see that's what I do in the afternoons, evenings, weekends and all other possible working hours. Sometimes). I figure people should understand that "journalism" bit, even if they don't get public relations at all.

Huh!

You have no idea how many times I get asked what I do (that is the Joburg conversation starter) and reply with my well-rehearsed line, *smile nicely* "I work mornings at a PR company as a writer and then I'm a freelance journalist in the afternoons," only to be met with a blank stare and a line of drool rolling slowly down a cheek. On other occasions, I get The Gush, which goes something like, "Oh WOW! That must be like SUPER exciting!!! How awesome!!!"

Yes, dear friends - I can even hear the additional exclamation marks tagged on the end of that sentence, which is usually quickly followed with one of these remarks:

• So have you met anyone famous?
• Did you get to cover the Brangelina / Michael Jackson / Caster Semenya / *insert other popular celeb or news topic here* story?
• What newspaper do you write for?

Firstly, as far as I am concerned, celeb stalking is not news. I really don't think that endless stories on which celebrity is trying to adopt a third world orphan next should be front page headlines. And I am totally clueless when it comes to the rich and famous. I didn't know who David Guetta was until yesterday, for Pete's sake. So no, I didn't cover whatever Brangelina story it is you're talking about. And no, sorry for you - I don't have the inside scoop from Heat or People magazines. What are those, by the way?

Now I have the utmost respect for news journalists, but I am not one. And will probably never be one. News journos get sent where the danger is, where buildings are blowing up or governments are being overthrown. They inform the public, mobilise change and occasionally save the world. They also, however, get sent by miserable editors to sit in month-long court cases and have to interview outraged citizens and slimy politicians. None of those things appeal to me, I must admit.

But it's not even the subject matter that put me off pursuing news journalism... it's the way you have to write. As you know, I can go on and on and on and on. And there's no room for that in news. Or for interesting descriptions and poetic language, of which, believe it or not, I am actually a big fan.

I hate disappointing people by not being a news journo. I always feel like when I try to explain that I prefer feature writing, I'm sort of telling them that there's no Easter Bunny (What? Really? Who was that giant rabbit in my yard then?) and that I must hang my head in shame.

But it's the truth. I enjoy magazine feature writing. And I'm proud of it. Not really. But yes, I love getting to explore a topic and learn about something I may never have thought of before. I love asking people for their professional opinions, not just the facts. I love that occasionally I can include my own thoughts and not just the "objective" truth.

I enjoy that I have a double-page spread or more to fill, not just a tiny box on a broadsheet filled with other boxes. I love seeing my name printed on glossy pages in full colour. It's very satisfying to see women flipping through a magazine I have contibuted towards in a supermarket, even if they don't buy it.

That said, I wish I did more of this kind of work. Maybe that's why "The Gush" gets to me. Because I know that most of the stuff I do is definitely not "SUPER exciting" or even semi-exciting. In fact, a lot of it is about as dull as can be.

I write corporate crap for companies who spout business cliches at impressive speed, like "our employees are really our greatest assets", "At White Male Execs 'R Us, BEE is not just a numbers game - it's the right thing to do" and, my personal favourite from the many dreary employees I interview, "I love my job - it doesn't feel like work to me" delivered in a zombie monotone (hint: I'm not going to tell your boss you said that, so sorreee for you - no extra brownie points today).

I write website copy for people who think that html links are the devil. I even do some basic advertising copy when it comes my way to pay the bills and build up cash for when I can eventually do this stuff fulltime. That's my funniest story, actually. I called someone on behalf of the ad agency I was writing for to get some product info and said to the receptionist, "I'm the copy writer." She replied, "Cool. So what do you copyright? Like new inventions and stuff?"

For real, y'all.

Anyway, I'm off to do some PR, write some fascinating case studies on variable speed drives (whatever those are) and not cover the Patrick Swayze story now. Have a good one.