Because modern life isn't terrifying enough...

...Someone (actually, a whole bunch of people) thought it would be a good idea to write children's books that will scar kids forever.

Why am I on about this? Glad you asked. Because, dear readers, this morning the Green Tip newsletter I subscribe to arrived in my inbox with this in the header: Stinkytown turns into Greentown.

Now, with a charming subject line like that, I just had to investigate further. And this is what followed:

Buy "green message" books for children. Forget about the 'Big Bad Wolf" - children's futures nowadays are far more threatened by greenhouse gases than they ever were by wolves. In a new book, Giggles is a happy little bean, planted in good soil, but he sprouts into a world in which the air stinks and the trees are gasping. In "Giggles the Green Bean Turns Stinkytown Into Greentown"... Giggles, guided by his bean grandmother and by a Wise Old Cabbage, learns environmentally friendly lessons and spreads the word to others. In the process Stinkytown is turned into Greentown."

Now forgive me if I would never consider buying this book for my hypothetical children. But seriously... if I'm ever going to be doing the bedtime reading, this book will not be my subject matter of choice.

It did, however, get me thinking about the rubbish kids' books out there. So I did a quick search online and oh my goodness gracious... the results were even more appalling than I could have imagined.

Take Who Cares About Disabled People? available on Amazon. Part of the Who Cares series, this book aims to teach children to care for disabled people, including fat kids and glue sniffers.

Another winner is The Little Boy Who Loved Dirt and Almost Became a Super Slob, by the same author who wrote Nobody Wants a Nuclear War. This woman has a gift for terrifying children.

She's almost as good as the lunatic who wrote Alfie's Home. The reviews tell it all. Basically, the book follows the tale of a little boy who is sexually abused by his uncle and teased about being gay before he is miraculously "cured" by a counsellor who tackles his father issues and makes him confront the naughty uncle (who also miraculously escapes prison or any consequences at all).

The pictures are disturbing, the text worse and the most awful thing for me is that you will end up trying to explain to your kid what the word faggot means as it features prominently. Lovely stuff this.

For more books to avoid like the plague, check out this link.

On a happy note, if this post caused you a bad boo-boo, you can fix it with a bacon band-aid. Gotta love Amazon.

Have a good weekend.